One Day
by TheRisingPheonix92
Summary: They've never spoken but their paths cross every day... can you really love at first sight?
1. Chapter 1

**My first attempt at an Anna and Bates fiction, well a fiction in general really. Never been brave enough to share what I write before but here goes. **

**I do like the idea of putting these two in a modern setting. I hope this reads well and that you enjoy it. It may become multi chapter. This popped into my head on a lunch hour and I ran with it. **

**Downton doesn't belong to me. If only.**

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><p>He takes up his usual position, opening his guitar case, removing the guitar and leaning it against the wall behind. He places the open case in front of him. The winter days are getting harsher now, the wind flows through the walkway he stands in, the link between Waterloo Station and the South Bank. He sends a silent thank you to his mother for the fingerless gloves she sent him in the post before pulling the hood of his jacket higher around his neck then adjusts his flat cap. Picking up his pride and joy, the guitar he has owned and the only one he shall ever care to play, he puts the strap over his head and gets ready to begin,<p>

He didn't need to busk. His job five nights a week as a nightclub bouncer paid more than enough. It was just something he started to escape the pain of his marriage crumbling, singing and performing was a release.

Five years down the line, a divorced man, he still found the same comfort and joy in it as he had always done. Some days he'd make only a fiver, others enough to pay for his food shopping that week. It all really depended on the commuters, tourists and shoppers who passed by. Some would request songs, others might stop for a dance, especially if they had been making use of the pubs London had to offer. He got to recognise a lot of them, some he was even friendly enough with to offer a hello or a knowing smile.

But there was one certain person he always looked forward to seeing.

She was about five foot four, with beautiful blue eyes and a smile that made his knees weaken and his heart skip a beat. Her hair seemed to cascade down her shoulders in golden waves, if she wasn't wearing it up to accentuate her perfect neckline. She would more often than not be wearing a business suit. The beautiful woman always offered him a smile as she walked by and without fail would leave him two pounds in his guitar case, then would stop and listen for a couple of minutes. They had never spoken, yet looking into her eyes as he sang he felt like he had known her all his life.

Regular as clockwork, she would walk past him around a quarter past nine every morning, and he would always make sure he was playing a song she might realise he was playing just for her. Isn't She Lovely, Wonderful Tonight, something that she might just possibly think was about her.

Their link was usually broken when he finished the song and, with a small round of applause and a smile, she continued on her way.

One day he would find the courage to ask for her name. But the truth was she seemed much younger than him and was so beautiful, she was probably already spoken for.

One day, though.

Looking at his watch, he notices the time and realises she will soon pass his way. Tuning in his guitar, he decides to start with something light. The opening notes of Yellow by Coldplay fill the air, and with a deep breath the lyrics begin to escape his lips...

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><p>Another day, another dollar she says to herself as she gets off the train at Waterloo. Her job as a secretary for a fashion house paid well, but the mundane tasks which she seemed to repeat day after day had recently been making herself question if it was all worth it.<p>

Passing through the barriers, she follows her usual routine of buying a coffee from one of the little outlets on the station. Once that's done, she fights her way through the crowds to the walkway bridge that leads onto London's South Bank.

She hopes he's there but secretly knows he will be, he has been every day since she started her job over a year ago now, moving down from Yorkshire to work for an old friend.

The closer she gets to the walkway, she can hear the melodic twang of his guitar. His gravelly tone sets her heart beating a faster rhythm. She prays he is wearing his flat cap, she was always partial to that particular piece of clothing on a man. Soon, as she moves further from the bustle of the station and more into the walkway, she can make out what he is singing.

'I bet she never had a down town man, that's what I am..'

She giggles slightly at his acoustic re working of the Billy Joel classic, especially as when he comes into view, he is attempting some kind of dance routine with his legs to entertain a group of kids on a school trip who have probably never seen a busker before.

Then he turns his head to the left, and their eyes meet. It is all she can do to remain upright as he continues to sing the song.

'She'll say I'm not so tough, just because I'm in love...'

It's as if everyone else has melted away, it is just the two of them. The way he lifts an eyebrow at her and smirks as he sings makes her feel all manner of emotions, some of them not entirely proper. He's older than her, but she doesn't mind that. Mid forties perhaps. Most of the men her age were ridiculously single minded. The ones she had encountered, anyway.

He was tall, she liked that. When he smiled the edge of his eyes crinkled which only endeared him to her more. No man had ever made her feel the way he did when he looked at her, it scared her to realise that was such a strong statement to make when they had never even shared a conversation. They seemed to share a connection, at least for these short moments they shared of a morning.

When she thought of him, she referred to him as 'my busker,' as he always made her feel as if he was singing only for her. Whether he meant to or not, she couldn't fathom.

After offering him a round of applause, she searches in her purse, finding the two pound coin she had been saving for him and dropping it in his case. He nods in acknowledgment before she turns on her heel and begins to walk away, never quite finding the courage to say hello.

One day, though.

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><p><strong>Please be kind...<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the encouraging words in response to my first effort. I cannot believe people are not only reading my story, but liking it too. ****I have already planned this story in my mind to a point, so it's lovely to know some people want it to continue. I will continue with a series of short chapters for the time being, as that is how I have imagined it. **

**Thanks again. **

**Nothing belongs to me.**

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><p>She didn't like going out to clubs, especially on a week night. But it was Daisy's birthday, Daisy being her best friend. Gwen would be there, and Ethel. The three women making up her group of friends. Checking her look in the mirror, she shrugged. She would pass, she supposed as she straightened out her black dress before running a hand through her long blonde hair. After another monotonous, long winded day at work this really was the last thing she wanted to be dressed in. Her Winnie The Pooh pyjamas seemed a much more inviting proposition.<p>

Looking to her watch, she released a deep sigh. Then the buzzer sounded and there was no turning back now. Walking to the front door, she lifted the receiver which instantly ended the buzzer.

'Come on, Anna. It's party time.'

It was Gwen, she was able to hear Ethel and Daisy talking in the background. The sound of their excited voices instantly lifted her spirits. Maybe she could have a good time tonight, she always did when with her friends. It was only seven now, they didn't have to be out late.

'I'll be right down.'

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><p>Bloody hell, it was cold. Shifting from foot to foot, trying anything to keep warm, he looked up to see a group of women approaching the entrance to the club. Being a bouncer wasn't the most glamorous of occupations, but it paid the bills. If only busking was enough, he often thought to himself.<p>

Looking at the faces of the women who were now entering 'Sugar And Spice' nightclub, he realised he wouldn't need to trouble any of them for identification. Offering a friendly smile as they passed him, he wondered whether, maybe somewhat harshly, if a few of them had got dressed in the dark.

Feeling a presence beside him, he looked up to see his colleague, Thomas reassume his position on the other side of the door. The two of them had never got along, although he didn't know why. He had never really cared to find out why either, if he was honest.

Female shrieking brought him out of his reverie. Looking to his left, he made a double take. It couldn't be, could it? A group of four young ladies were making their approach, one of them he instantly recognised. Familiar feelings surged within him. His heart was beating faster, his throat was dry. She hadn't notice him yet. Attempts to regain his composure were fruitless, he was just waiting with baited breath for her to notice him, for what her reaction would be.

Then she looked up.

He was sure their surroundings had melted away, it was just the two of them. This was madness. They were effectively strangers, they had never even spoken yet every time his eyes met hers, fireworks went off in his head, cohesive thoughts were impossible.

'Evening ladies.'

Thomas's voice suddenly reached his ears, breaking the connection he was holding with the young woman. One of the other girls attempted to flirt with his fellow bouncer, he barely noticed as the pretty blonde woman continued to smile at him. Then she spoke, and he was sure a sweeter sound had never been heard.

'It's her birthday,' she said in reply to something Thomas had asked, pointing to the petite brunette in front of her. She then turned to face him once again, they simply stared at each other. Thomas must be wondering if they were quite well.

'Come on, Anna,' one of the women shouted, grabbing her by the wrist. 'They're playing Beyoncé.'

Anna. So that was her name, then. It suited her. Sophisticated. Beautiful. And with a nod of the head, she had disappeared into the club behind her friends. He watched, unable to take his eyes off her. Needing more, he made an excuse of needing to use the toilet to disappear inside. The sound of 'Single Ladies' was deafening, but he managed to make her out in the crowd, in the middle of the dance floor.

Her friends were dancing in some sort of coordinated rhythm, she standing by trying to join in. She was laughing. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. The vision he saw before him right now made standing out in the cold more than worth it.

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><p>She knew going out last night was a bad idea. She hadn't time for her coffee as she burst through the barriers at Waterloo having overslept. Dodging her way thorough the crowds of the morning rush hour, she trod the floor towards the bridge that lead to the south bank. Then she remembered. Who she saw last night. A smile was unavoidable. She knew he couldn't be a busker by trade, but a bouncer was the furthest thing from her mind when she thought what 'her busker' might do for a living.<p>

As she grew closer to where he would inevitably be situated, she smiled as she recognised the tune he was singing. He must have seen her last night. She and her friends always went mad for that song. As he came into view, she was pleased to see he was wearing his flat cap.

_'If you like it then you should have put a ring on it...'_

He had noticed her, singing the song as their eye contact threatened to knock her to the ground. She couldn't help but sing along as he sang the 'uh oh oh,' portion of the song. She stood in front of him, not wanting to seem egotistical but knowing this time the song he was singing was for her benefit. As he finished, she gave him a hearty round of applause, the smile he afforded her was breathtaking. After dropping her two pound coin in his guitar case, she offered him a smirk and a nod of acknowledgement before turning on her heel.

'Have a good day, Anna.'

She stopped dead in her tracks. He had just spoken to her. The first interaction beyond eye contact and exchanges of smiles they had ever had. His voice was deep, a hint of Irish to his tone. She loved it. Looking back over her shoulder, he was smirking,

'And you.' She replied with a nod. 'Take care.'


	3. Chapter 3

**I love writing this story as it gives me a chance to include all my favourite songs :) **

**This chapter is a little longer than the others but once I started writing I found I couldnt stop. A few more characters are introduced here. I hope you like. **

**Thanks for the reviews, really struggle to believe people are reading this and liking it. **

**Downtn on doesn't belong to me.**..

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><p>He does this every Sunday. Taking the Northern line to Chalk Farm, then a short walk towards London Zoo to visit the one constant in his life. His mother. This visit had been no different. He had left the home where he spent the majority of his childhood, armed with a tupperware box filled with left over Sunday lunch, his ironing in a reusable shopping bag and a big wad of money off coupons for a supermarket which was fifty miles from his home, yet he didn't have the heart to tell her.<p>

Waiting for his train to take him back to Westminster, near where he rented a one bedroom apartment in Lambeth, he sighed audibly at the thought of where he had to go this evening. To be fair, he enjoyed the company of the Crawley family, yet the class difference resonating from his best friend's daughters often got to him.

They were pleasant enough in themselves, yet they did like to remind you in another time or another life you would be serving their table, not eating at it alongside them. Sybil, the youngest and John's goddaughter was more level headed, Edith, the middle had her moments yet it was Mary, or Contrary as John had nicknamed her in his head, who could be the worst. She owned a successful fashion house in Lambeth, earning more money in a day than John would earn in a week, including his army pension.

Yet, he kept his views to himself. Their father, Robert Crawley was one of the finest men John had ever met, the two becoming close after serving in the army together. This evening, Robert was holding a little soirée in honour of Mary's engagement to Matthew. Matthew also happened to be Mary's third cousin, however when John found amusement in this he was shot down with a stern look and raised eyebrows by Robert.

Now on the train, John was relieved when after a couple of stops a seat became available. Once comfortable, he looked up and couldn't believe his eyes. It was her. Anna. She was reading something on her iPad. This was getting more than a little peculiar now, it was if some higher power was intervening, causing their paths to cross at different intervals.

'Look up, look up,' a voice was chanting inside his head. Then she did, and it took him by surprise. 'Shit, she's looked up.'

Their gaze locked. He nearly dropped his Tupperware box on the floor. Did she always look this beautiful? She began to chuckle at his fumbling, turning off whatever she was looking at on her iPad before placing the device in her bag. It was dawning on him that she was about to speak. He didn't get it. Singing in front of her was easy yet it was becoming increasingly apparent holding a conversation was a much more difficult proposition.

'No guitar today?' She asked with a kind smile, a smile he was beginning to realise was the most breathtaking he had ever seen. He also detected a hint of an accent in her voice. He had noticed it the other night, yet couldn't put his finger on it until now. Yorkshire.

'Not today,' he replied, tapping the top of the box. 'Just some roast lamb and coupons for a supermarket it would cost more in petrol money to visit than to actually do a weekly shop.'

'Ahh, you must have just visited your mother then.' He laughed at that, nodding to confirm her suspicions.

'She lives near Regents Park. And still feels she needs to look after her little soldier.'

'It's different when you're a man, you're always Mummy's little boy. When you're a woman it's all, _aren't you married yet? By your age I was married with three children, blah blah blah.'_

He couldn't believe how at ease he was talking to this woman. To Anna. They still barely knew each other yet he felt like he could tell her anything. It was alchemy.

'You really are very good,' she continued, 'at the busking I mean. I love hearing you every morning.'

'Even my rather strained rendition of Beyoncé?'

'Especially your Beyoncé, it was very good.' She cocked her head, furrowing her brow but still with a smirk on her lips. 'Even if a little random.'

Did she not pick up on the fact that was for her? She must have done. He didn't want to tell her it was, he didn't want to seem like some weird stalker. In the next moment, she was rising to her feet. Leicester Square.

'See you tomorrow, Anna.'

She looked down at him, her eyes were shining as she held his gaze. 'And you as well, err... I'm sorry. I don't know your name.'

'John.'

'Ahh, busker John. See you in the morning.'

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><p>Releasing a rather loud sigh, Anna reached the driveway of the rather extravagant house she was twenty minutes late arriving at. She hoped she could slip in relatively unnoticed, although the heavy shopping bag in her right hand suggested someone would be eagerly awaiting her arrival inside. She had only been to the house twice in her life and was relieved to have found it again.<p>

Sybil was Mary's younger sister, Mary being Anna's boss at the fashion house. They had known each other since their late teens, both studying at the same establishment however Mary's career had skyrocketed. She wasn't envious though, it just wasn't in Anna's nature to be that way. Mary just had it, what was needed to get along in the cutthroat world of fashion design. Although herself just going through the motions, working on the administrative side of Mary's business, Anna was pleased to see the house thriving.

'There you are.' Anna looked up to see Sybil at the now open front door, her arms folded. 'Did you get the sweets?'

'What does the M and M World bag tell you?' Anna replied, holding it up for Sybil to see. 'In blue and pink as requested.'

'Aww, it's going to be so cute,' Sybil cooed as she took the bag and showed Anna inside. 'M and M, Mary and Matthew's initials, it was meant to be.'

'Quite,' Anna replied, rolling her eyes and not sharing quite the same enthusiasm as the youngest Crawley daughter. 'Come on, I have thirty cupcakes to decorate with these and you can help.'

'Oh the joys,' Anna said as she followed Sybil into the kitchen. It was the size of her entire flat. How the other half live, she thought to herself.

They worked quickly together, enjoying a friendly banter that had existed between them since Anna had become friends with Mary. Guests were arriving in the other room as they decorated the cupcakes Sybil had made as quickly, yet as carefully as they could. Once all the cakes were decorated, Anna began to plate up the cakes, Sybil wiped down the counters before the kitchen doors burst open. It was Mary. Anna stuck to her task whilst Sybil turned to regard her sister.

'Sybil, John was wondering if he could have a fruit juice instead of a fizzy drink. I said you'd help him.'

'Sure thing, hello Uncle John.'

'Hello Pipsqueak.'

The sound of his voice made Anna turn around. Even though she had only heard his Irish burr a few times, it was a sound she would now recognise anywhere. He was already looking at her, a grin playing on his lips and his eyes crinkling at the edges. This was also the first time she had seen him without a flat cap. His hair was gelled, yet a lock fell above his eyebrow. She wanted nothing more than to walk towards him and brush it back into place. By God, he really was rather dashing. This was weird, the whole situation was bizarre. They had been busker and commuter for so long, yet recently they seen each other outside of that rather more comforting scenario more often. What was happening and why did she feel so compelled to a man who was almost a complete stranger?

'Anna, this is John Bates, Sybil's Godfather.'

'Yes, we know each other,' He interjected, Anna eyes wide in surprise at how forward he was when he usually seemed so shy. He was still staring at her. She just couldn't bear to look away from him. Her stomach felt weird. Butterflies perhaps? Anna had never felt them before. Not when it came to a man, anyway.

'Really?' Mary's voice held a surprised lilt to it. 'How so?'

'Would you like to tell her?' John asked, tilting his head towards Mary although all the time keeping his eyes on Anna. 'Or shall I?'

Realising she would now have to speak, he had given her no option, Anna stuttered a little before replying, 'I stop and watch him busk every morning on the way to work.'

'So your busker is John?' Mary said with a slight chuckle. 'Blimey, Anna. If you had told me it was John I would have told you he was far too old for you to be daydreaming about.'

'Mary,' Sybil hissed, Anna now turning a deep shade of crimson as John found the whole situation highly amusing. 'Don't be so rude.'

She knew all about the age gap, it was what endeared her to him the most. No doubt he had countless experience, stories to tell, things to teach...

'It's alright, Pipsqueak,' John placed a hand on Mary's shoulder. 'We all know what your sister is like now.'

Anna watched as Mary turned on her heel and returned to the party, leaving John still staring at her and a rather awkward looking Sybil flitting her gaze between her and the man opposite.

'Right, well I'll go and see if I'm needed anywhere else.'

Anna was vaguely aware of Sybil leaving before remembering she was in the middle of something before John had arrived. Clearing her throat, she turned her back on him and continued with placing the cakes on a three tiered stand. She was sure she could hear his footsteps on the floor, her breath shortening the nearer the sound became. She felt his presence beside her and was sure her heart had stopped beating. The first time they had ever been properly alone.

'Nice cakes,' he said, looking over her shoulder.

'Yeah, well Sybil made them,' she shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant although feeling anything but. 'I just bought the M and M's.'

'Ahh, so that's why you were going to Leicester Square earlier.'

Wow, he was observant. 'Yes. Although M and M World isn't usually the reason why I would go there. Waste of time if you ask me.'

'Oh, me too. My cousin and his family came over from Cork. His kids made me walk around that blasted place for two hours. You know, that was a funny day because...'

'John, Dad is asking after you.'

It was now Edith, the middle Crawley sister who was interrupting at completely the wrong time. When he was telling a story, his voice held such a tone that Anna couldn't help but be transfixed by it. She thought his singing voice was beautiful, but his accent when talking. It rendered her quite unable to concentrate on anything else.

'I should go, but I'll see you around this evening, no doubt.'

Anna could only nod as he smiled at her for what seemed like the hundredth time in the couple of minutes they had been speaking. She was intrigued as to why he was here, how he knew Mary's father. But most of all, she wanted to know why their paths kept crossing. She didn't believe in fate, but this was becoming more and more difficult to ignore.

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><p>It was a fact. He couldn't hide it any longer. He had suspected it in the nightclub, now in the Crawley's living room he knew it for certain. Any room where she was, everyone else paled into insignificance.<p>

It had been so sudden, all these meetings and brief conversations, yet really it hadn't been. She had been walking past him at Waterloo for months. They had shared a connection almost instantly, through eye contact and his music. Something was there. Something between them. He felt it like a thunderbolt through his soul. There was a reason why she came to his club, why she was opposite him on the Tube, why she was here tonight.

John stood by the Mantelpiece, unable to watch anything but her. When she laughed, he felt each smile tug at his heart. When, on occasion she met his gaze, John had never felt so weak. Now there was this added dimension to their relationship, they had spoken, what was between them felt more real. She wasn't just the beautiful girl with the sweet smile and figure to die for who left him two quid every morning anymore. She was Anna, a woman with a life, opinions and dreams of her own.

'Hey Bates.' John looked to his left, seeing his friend Robert with a guitar in hand. They had both played together when in the army, although Robert would be the first to admit he was nowhere as talented as John when it came to playing the instrument. 'Mary has requested you play something. To mark the occasion.'

'Oh, I really don't think so,' John shook his head, reluctantly placing a hand on the guitar.

'Look, John's got the guitar.' Mary seemed excited as she looked upon the scene between hre father and John. 'Please play something.'

Could he really deny her, especially on a night like tonight.? Even after she had indsulted him? With a quick glance up to see Anna looking in his direction, an expectant expression on her face, John nodded and placed the guitar strap over his head, a ripple of applause coming from those gathered. Thinking of what to play, he remembered his experiences with Mary, things Robert had told him about her and the rest of his family on long nights whilst on duty together. One story was sticking out in the forefront of his mind. And John knew what he had to do.

'Okay, I'll play one song. And as this is an engagement party, Smells Like Teen Spirit won't do I suppose?'

'It would do,' Matthew replied enthusiastically before Mary dug him in the ribs with her elbow.

'Maybe I'll save that one for your birthday, Matt,' John replied with a chuckle before searching for Anna's gaze, delighted to see she was laughing. John looked to Robert, 'do you remember that night in Bosnia. Me, you, a few of the other lads and an acoustic guitar. You asked me to play this, as your eldest girl back home had been playing it over and over and, although it had driven you mad, it would remind you of home. It's fair to say this song got played to death, and everyone likes it although won't admit it.'

John tuned the guitar to his liking before clearing his throat. He couldn't help it. He needed to look at her again. It was like making eye contact with her was an addiction. So he did, and sure enough he was met with her eyes staring at him. She was really looking at him. No one had ever looked at him in quite the same way. Having found the right chord, with one strum of the strings, he began.

'_Look into my eyes, you will see, what you mean to me_.'

An echo of cooing went up from those of the female persuasion gathered, John could almost hear the men rolling their eyes, yet it didn't stop the majority singing along. As he reached the end of the chorus, John allowed the crowd to sing the last line.  
>'<em>You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you...<em>'

'You're all sounding beautiful,' John joked as he lead them all into the second verse. '_Look into your heart, you find, there's nothing left to hide...'_

He'd found her in the crowd again and his eyes never left hers as he continued with the song. It was as if they were on that bridge, the wind blowing all around him, she watching as if she would stop breathing if she didn't. Like the connection they held whilst he played was the only thing keeping them both alive.

Reaching the crescendo of the song, everybody was lost in the moment as John lead them towards the end.

'_I'd fight for you, I'd lie for you, walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you._..'

He allowed himself a little smile, his eyes tightly closed with the effort of reaching that last note as a few of the men started a chorus of wolf whistles.

'Yeah, thanks lads,' he remarked, nodding in the direction of Sybil's boyfriend and Matthew. Then he looked at Anna, the expression she was sending his way, well John decided in that moment he wanted her to look at him that way for the rest of his _life. 'You know it's true, everything I do...'_ He stopped, playing up to everyone singing along before speaking, 'okay, you lot finish it off then.'

'_I do it for you._'

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>It felt different this morning, after last night. Yes, she still left platform 12, passed the same barrier, got her normal order at the coffee bar. But it felt different. It was difficult not to run towards the walkway that lead to the South Bank. He would be there. John. Not just a busker. A man with a past, with experiences to share. With eyes that Anna was sure she would never grow tired of looking into.<p>

The music reached her ears. His music. His voice. It set her heart beating a rhythm she struggled to keep up with. And the song he had chosen. How did he know it was one of her favourites? She didn't usually like to assume the songs he sang around this time were for her, but this was uncanny. She and Mary used to dance to it together at parties whenever it came on, consoling each other when they had failed to find dates yet again. Had he asked Mary to tell him what her favourite song was? The thought he had gone to that trouble made her weak at the knees, no one had ever done anything like that for her before.

'_What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you._..'

He'd spotted her, Anna couldn't help it. She could feel the stinging of tears in her eyes, this song meant so much to her, reminding her of a time in her life when she felt invincible, before the realities of life had set in. John had no idea what it was doing to her to hear him sing the lyrics, their eyes locked on the other. So convincing, he had so much emotion in his voice and Anna knew he wasn't faking it. He meant every word for her.

As he finished the song, they held each others gaze before it became too much, Anna looking away before dropping a two pound coin in his case. She could feel him imploring her with his eyes, she lifted her head like there was some kind of magnetic force between them.

'Thank you,' she mouthed before wiping a tear away from her cheek.

His smile was sympathetic, however Anna was almost undone as he offered her a wink. Trying to form anything coherent after that was impossible, Anna choosing instead to release a shaky breath. With a nod of the head, as was her usual parting gesture, she walked backwards a couple of steps then disappearing further into the rush hour crowd.

**Hope this isn't too much, and sorry for the swear word**_. _

_**Songs are Everything I Do by Bryan Adams And Wicked Game by Chris Isaak**. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Your response to this story had been nothing short of mind boggling. Thanks so much for the kind words you have have written in your reviews. **

**Downton doesn't belong to me...**

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>Two weeks passed, and the only glimpses she got of him was their week morning ritual outside Waterloo. What did she expect? In essence, they were merely acquaintances, a little more than strangers now. He was the best friend of her boss' father. He knew her favourite song, she knew he was still tied to his mother's apron strings. However, she found her thoughts quite often drifting to her busker in his flat cap, a slight dusting of stubble on his cheeks as his gravelly tones and exquisite guitar playing took her to another world for a couple of mesmerising minutes.<p><p>

This particular day, Mary must have noticed as she wandered past Anna's desk. There was plenty of work to be done, yet Anna was staring out of her window that overlooked the Thames, rhythmically tapping her pen against her lip as she relived every second of John's rendition of _To Be With You_ that morning. Their eyes met, and like always it was if the world had melted away. He really did have the most beautiful eyes...

'I said, have you written that press release yet?'

'What?' Anna furrowed her brow before realising Mary was standing beside her, hands on her hips and wearing a not too pleased expression on her face. Looking at the empty computer screen in front on her, Anna panicked. 'Err, well, you see...'

'Thinking about your busker again, are we?'

'Of course not.' Her reddened cheeks betrayed her indignation. Anna looked away but found her eyes drawn back to Mary's. She was smirking, Anna hated it when Mary smirked.

'I can hook you up, you know,' Mary explained as she sat on the edge of Anna's desk. 'Although I can't see why you would want me to. He's old enough to be your...'

'Stop right there,' Anna interrupted, holding her hand up to Mary's face before sitting up straighter in her chair, 'I don't want you to ruin the illusion of 'My Busker. Capital M. Capital B. To my eye, he is only in his early forties.'

'Try late...'

'I said stop.' Her tone was annoyed now as she stared at the blank screen, continuing without looking up at Mary. 'He's a lovely guy, I just don't want anything to ruin that illusion. My first impressions of blokes have always been wrong, I don't want that to happen with John. So I'm quite happy with things the way they are, thank you. He is My Busker and My Busker he shall remain. Unless our paths cross again, in which case I will accept it as fate. Besides, he's much too worldly for he likes of me.'

'Fine. Whatever. Just trying to help.' Mary sounded hurt but Anna knew she was faking. 'Just have that press release on my desk by the end of the day.'

'Yes sir,' Anna murmured once Mary was out of earshot, saluting her as she walked away.

Mary did like to meddle. Although she meant well, Anna hated a meddler. If things were meant to happen, then happen they will. If she was meant to see John in different surroundings than that walkway at Waterloo, then she would. It was being set up, chasing men and giving too much of her heart away that had been her downfall in the past. Chasing the wrong men, that is. They all turned out the same way in the end. At least as her busker he remained an almost romantic figure. Untouchable in her heart and soul. Anna just wouldn't be able to bear finding out John was like all the rest.

******************************  
>After a feast of Spaghetti Bolognese and ice cream, prepared for them by Cora, Robert's wife, John and his best friend were currently embroiled in a rather competitive pool match. John had taken the first two games, meaning the original best of three suggested by Robert had been extended to a best of five.<p>

'I told you it would make no difference,' John shrugged as he potted yet another yellow ball, leaving just one more and the black on the table, Robert still with four reds to sink.

'You're cheating.'

'Ahh, here we go,' John rolled his eyes, leaning back against the wall of Robert's conservatory as his friend lined up a rather impossible shot. 'Wondered how long it would take you to use that line. How can I possibly be cheating?'

'I don't know,' Robert said as he moved his cue backwards and forwards, not quite touching the ball each time until he took the shot. 'Magnets. Something like that.'

'You really are full of shit,' John laughed, Robert missing the shot completely. Just then. Mary appeared at the door. 'Ahh, Mary. You've arrived right on cue. We were just talking about people who are full of crap.'

'What?' Mary shook her head, completely confused before looking at the table. 'Wow, whoever is red is having their arse kicked.'

'How can I help you, Mary?' Robert huffed without looking at his daughter, standing back away from the table as he spoke. John moved forward, assessing which would be his possible best shot.

'Actually, it's John I wanted.'

'Me?'

'Yes, you believe it or not. Who'd have thought it?'

A thousand things were going through his mind as he looked at Mary from his position leaning over the table. All she usually did was mock him and tell him to get a real job. 'What is it?'

He took the shot before she answered, potting the final yellow ball as Robert let out a cry of disappointment. John grinned, moving around the table to line up the black.

'Anna.'

Anna. With that simple, two syllable word John was transported away from his friends conservatory, and to that bridge at Waterloo. Wisps of precious blonde hair blowing in the breeze, blue eyes that he could easily become lost in. Her breathtaking smile. The way she walked away from him, her figure more perfect than he had ever seen.

'She wants to see you again.'

'She said that?' John asked, barely believing it was true.

'Not as such, but she really likes you.'

John felt a jolt at those words. Like a thunderbolt striking him. Anna liked him. How anyone as flawless as her even gave him a minute of her day still flummoxed him, but to know that she thought positively of him was almost more than John could take.

'She's just a believer in fate,' Mary rolled her eyes before adding, 'more fool her.'

'Now Mary, not everyone has a handsome cousin they can marry at the drop of a hat,' John said slyly as he chalked the end of his cue. Feeling Robert's cue poking him in the back, John decided to change the subject. 'What do you want me to do?'

'You don't work Friday evenings, no?' John shook his head. 'Then bring the guitar over and perform outside the fashion house tomorrow afternoon. Anna knocks off at five.'

'I thought she was a believer in fate?'

'Well, to her it will be if you play along,' Mary explained. 'Besides, the way you two were looking at each other at my engagement party, it's a wonder you didn't set off the fire alarm. It was hot.'

'Hot?' John grimaced, then turned to his friend. 'Was it really that obvious?'

'Oh yes,' Robert didn't miss a beat as he replied.

Looking back to Mary, John exhaled a breath, tapping his foot on the floor as he thought about her suggestion. He would like to see Anna again, he'd be lying if he said he didn't. And what harm could it do? Even if Anna did just walk past, he'd heard buskers along the stretch on which Mary's fashion house was situated raked it in, especially during rush hour. He could use the potential extra cash, and if he did speak to Anna then all the better.

'Alright.' John found himself saying, 'I'll do it.'

With a nod of the head and a smile on her lips, Mary turned on her heel and left. Shaking his head, John bent over the table and potted the black with almost no effort at all. He looked to Robert, his expression unreadable as John fought back the victory dance that was threatening to erupt within him, and it wasn't just because of winning the game. His friend spoke next.

'Best of seven?'

*******************************  
>He was feeling nervous, more so as the time neared to five o clock. The crowds walking along the south bank had been very generous, John even noticing someone had dropped a fiver in his guitar case. The fashion house was in a tall office block, there seemed to be miles and miles of glass stretching high into the sky. The light reflecting off the panes had been a problem as the sun set, but now as dusk began to fall it really was rather a beautiful setting to be playing guitar, especially with the Thames being his back drop, St Paul's Cathedral in the distance.<p>

He had played an eclectic mix whilst waiting for Anna. From Kings Of Leon to David Bowie, Rolling Stones to Oasis, The Beatles to Kaiser Chiefs. John's personal favourites were the old songs, Motown in particular but also Bill Withers and, albeit a little embarrassedly, Luther Vandross. However, his acoustic reworking of _Never Too Much _had been rather popular with a group of ladies just about to embark on a hen night. One of them had wrapped their feather boa around his neck, another replaced his flat cap with flashing bunny ears as the rest of the group danced around his guitar case. Each left him a couple of pounds each, making the ridiculousness of his appearance for the duration of the song worthwhile. He loved any opportunity to get in touch with his soulful side, even if looking like a fool was the price he had to pay.

The chimes of Big Ben could be heard in the distance. Five of them. Activity outside of the office block increased. John tried to keep his composure as he performed _'My Girl' _by The Temptations. He nodded politely as various commuters dropped the odd coin in his case, but his eyes were fixed on the door of the office block. He noticed Mary first, who seemed to be looking for him. Once she spotted him, she gestured behind her and held up her hand, John guessing by her gesture Anna would be along in five minutes or so.

Nodding, he thought about what to play next as he grew nearer to the end of _My Girl._ Stopping to look like he was tuning his guitar, he was really trying to summon the courage to come face to face with Anna again. Singing to her was fine, but he was certain she would ask him why he was there. He couldn't lie. He would tell her Mary had put him up to it. He just hoped she didn't take it the wrong way. Maybe they could go for a coffee. Dinner perhaps. He didn't have long to think about it as he saw her reach the main lobby of the office block, waving to the man on reception as she left. She stepped out on to the pavement. John felt his knees turn to jelly as she looked at him, her face the epitome of confusion.

'Sing, you fool,' John heard the voice in his head gently chastise him.

As she walked towards him, John couldn't bare the eye contact any longer, it was threatening to overwhelm him, the feelings rushing through him were enough to render him helpless. Looking down at his guitar and playing a chord before those chords turned into a melody, he did the only thing that he never seemed to have any trouble doing. He began to sing.

'_And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now_...'

He carried on singing and all he could think about was her. How he still managed to get the lyrics out was beyond him. His mind was just awash with her delicate features and the way she was looking at him. She was standing before him now as he sang, and thank the Lord she was smiling. That beautiful, understated smile that he had imagined might one day be his undoing time and time again.

_'And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am_.'

And he did. The more and more he saw this woman, the more he wanted her to take notice of him, wanted her to get to know him. They had moved beyond the busker and the commuter, but not enough for his liking. He had always said one day he would ask her out, one day have a proper conversation with her. Maybe that day had arrived.

A crowd behind Anna had formed, a group of rather intoxicated twenty something's swaying in time as John reached the last chorus of the song. She turned around as they sang along, looking back to John, a laugh brightening her entire face, making her eyes dance and John's soul sing. He finished the song to a rousing applause, Anna leading the crowd in their tribute. The group at the back made their contribution, one of them over enthusiastically wrapping his arm around John's shoulders in the process.

'Bloody brilliant mate,' he bellowed, tapping John on the chest. 'That's mine and my birds song, you know, if she was actually talking to me. Which she isn't but still, amazing.'

With those words, he trudged off after his friends, finally leaving John and Anna alone. She was still amused, her arms folded as John clutched onto his guitar tightly in nervousness, his knuckles turning white. He couldn't think of what to say to break the silence until she beat him to it.

'Hi John.'

Damn, nice opening line. Why couldn't he have thought of that?

'Anna,' he managed to choke. 'Good day?'

'It's just got better,' Anna replied with a smirk. 'Mary put you up to this?'

His face dropped. Damn, she was so perceptive. All he could do was stare back although suddenly a feeling of panic spread throughout his body. He didn't want her to think he was only there because Mary had told him to be.

'She suggested it,' John revealed before quickly adding, 'but I wanted to be here. I wanted to see you again.'

Her expression was unreadable as they just simply stated at each other. They seemed to do a lot of that, John noted. He didn't mind, a comfortable silence existed between them in these moments. It was if they were trying to suss the other out, or commit every little thing about the other to memory.

'Do you fancy a walk, John?' She put her hands in her coat pockets. ' I find it helps to destress from a week of...'

'Mary.'

They both laughed. 'Yes, Mary. So how about it?'

John looked to his left, trying to act nonchalant yet it had never been his strong suit. Turning back to her, he nodded his head. 'I'd love that, Anna.'

************************  
>She didn't know how much time had passed. John had put his guitar away, after sorting out the money he had earned- £15- threw the strap of the case over his back and off they had walked. Conversation was easy, despite her initial nervousness. She couldn't fathom why she worried about talking to him, it just felt right and natural to be strolling by his side. They reached St Paul's Cathedral, that was the first time Anna had looked up to gauge where they were. John had asked if she had anywhere to be. She shook her head in response, John asked if they could continue, she had never been asked an easier question in her life.<p>

On they went, away from the riverside for a time, past Monument and towards Tower Bridge. He had spoken about the army, how he had got to know Robert and the Crawley's. It seemed strange to her that they had never known of each other before, he being so close to the head of the family and she close to his daughter.

Anna had been very complimentary of his talents on the guitar, he seeming to appreciate her comments. It was then that he had revealed all about his ex-wife, and the reason why he busked when he didn't really need to. She noted the passion in his voice and the breathtaking expression on his face as he explained what a release singing and performing gave him.

'So you never wanted to do it professionally?' Anna asked as they sat on a bench beside the river, Tower Bridge their backdrop. They must have been walking for an hour, maybe an hour and a half. The time had passed like seconds.

John cocked his head to the side, scrunching up his nose in a way that she found adorable. 'I don't think I'm really that good, am I?'

'Yes,' Anna replied through a disbelieving smile, 'you're amazing.'

A silence fell between them then. He was looking at her. Really looking at her. No man had ever quite regarded her in the same way. His eyes held a sincerity she had never witnessed before, his slight smile set her heart racing, made her mouth dryer than the desert. What was this hold he had over her? All she knew was she didn't want it to ever end.

'What about you? Tell me about you.'

Anna shrugged. 'There isn't much to tell really. Go to work every day, go home each night. Go out with my friends at the weekends.'

'I know there is so much more to you than that,' he replied, 'where have you come from? Certainly not from around here going by your accent.'

'I'm a Yorkshire lass,' Anna confirmed his suspicions. 'Ripon, it's near York.'

'I've heard of it,' John nodded his head. 'And you came down here to study fashion design?'

'You're very much on the ball, Mr Bates.' Anna narrowed her gaze. 'If I didn't know better I'd say someone had been researching my life story with the help of a certain fashion designer.'

'You don't mind, do you?' John winced.

'On the contrary, I'm very flattered.'

And then he was staring again, his eyes locked on hers. She so wished she could read his mind on these occasions, longed to know what he was thinking as he regarded her so carefully.

'Do you fancy sharing some chips?'

He was thinking about food. She should have known. He was a man after all.

'Sounds good, so long as you like vinegar.'

Standing up, John stood aside to allow Anna to walk on ahead. Walking just a pace behind her, she supposing he was trying to limit the amount of times he knocked her with his case. She could sense he was trying to say something, it taking all the resolve she had within her to not ask him what he wanted. He could tell or ask her anything and she wouldn't mind, she had decided. What a realisation to come to.

They reached the queue and he still hadn't spoken, the suspense was too much to bear.

'Are you trying to say something, John?'

She turned her head, he was displaying an expression of awkwardness, his whole body language was awkward. She heard him release a sigh before he finally spoke.

'Well, it's like this,' he began. 'I won't buy another man's girl a bag of chips, you see. It's not the done thing. Mary mentioned there had been...'

'I'm not seeing anyone, John,' she interrupted. What Mary had been getting at, she didn't not know. But she was most definitely single. There was only one man who occupied her thoughts. And that man was just about to buy her a medium cod and chips.

With extra vinegar.

*****************************************  
>After devouring their fish and chips, they took the tube back to Vauxhall. Anna insisted she would wait for her train alone, back to her flat in Wimbledon. However, being the chivalrous man that he was, John did a little insisting of his own, and now they stood by the departure boards, waiting for Anna's platform to be announced.<p>

The evening had been most enjoyable, being with Anna for longer than an acoustically played ballad or a brief chat in the Crawley's kitchen. It felt good to know more about each other, to be more than acquaintances now. God knows, it had been a long time coming. Anna had explained how she found her job a little mundane but the money was good. That was why she stuck at it. John felt a little down heartened at that. Someone like Anna shouldn't be spending her days doing a job that she got no enjoyment out of. Maybe she needed someone to make her happy, to give her the confidence to follow her dreams. He'd love her to share what her dreams were with him. One day perhaps.

'Platform eleven,' Anna announced, the board changing in front of them. She turned to look at him. There was that jolt again, he was beginning to wonder if it would happen every time they made eye contact. He hoped so. 'Thank you for a wonderful evening.'

'The pleasure was all mine, Anna,' he replied with all the sincerity he could find within himself. He had never meant anything more.

'See you Monday morning,' she added with a smile. And then she was walking away from him. Emptiness. The feeling spread throughout him like a raging fire. He had to extinguish it, he couldn't leave it like this. Sharing a few minutes every morning as he sang wasn't enough anymore. From somewhere, John found the courage to call her name.

'Anna.' She turned, and the blood was suddenly rushing in his ears. He could barely hear what he was asking her. 'Can I have your number?'

For a brief second he thought she would say no. The relief was indescribable as she began to walk towards him, reaching into her bag for something. Pulling out her phone, he couldn't help but smile. He find his own mobile in his pocket, handing it to her as she copied her number from her phone and keyed it into his. As she handed him back his phone, their fingers grazed each other. He gasped. Their first touch. So subtle yet it was electrifying. He could tell Anna felt it too as she gently pulled her hand away, trying to prolong the contact.

'Goodnight Anna,' he murmured. She nodded and slowly began to back away. He watched, transfixed as she turned her back and made her way towards platform eleven. Now with her gone, he felt numb. As if their past few hours together had been a dream. Then he looked at his phone, and saw her name, and her number. Walking towards the exit of the station, he opened a message window to compose a text. He couldn't resist.

**********************************  
>Taking her seat, Anna tried to process what had just happened. It had been the briefest of touches, but it had felt wonderful. His skin against hers. Magical even. And so, so right. She was awoken from her reverie by a vibrating in her pocket. Retrieving her phone, she saw a number she didn't recognise but assumed to be John's. Opening the message, she tried to regulate her breathing before reading what was before her.<p>

'_Anna, I had a wonderful evening. Are you free Sunday afternoon? Warmest regards, Your Busker_.'

'Mary,' Anna cursed under her breath. Was their anything she had told this man? Shaking her head, she couldn't stay mad for long. She composed a reply before settling down into her seat once more.

'_To My Busker, I had a lovely time too. I am free, maybe we could heat up your mother's leftovers? A x'_

She smirked. Maybe one day had arrived.


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys are just amazing, thanks for the wonderful reviews and for following the story. **

**Thanks to to my friend whose help has been invaluable :) **

* * *

><p>She looked around her room at the piles of clothes strewn across the floor. Anna never realised she had so many clothes. Her wardrobe was virtually empty as she took a gaze at it from her position in front of her full length mirror. She released a sigh, why was it so hard to pick an outfit? Well, one reason was that John hadn't actually told her where they were going and a second was, for the first time in what seemed like forever, she really cared what she looked like on a date. For the most part, especially recently, she had been on a series of ill advised dates, mainly set up by Mary or one of her other friends, Ethel. She had never been keen to go on them, Anna beginning to realise now it was because there was only one man on her mind.<p>

The dark blue top with her jeans would look nice, she supposed. With her leather jacket. John didn't seem the type of bloke to take her dining at the Ritz, and she didn't mind that. He seemed really down to earth, someone who was easy to talk to and genuine. That was a deal breaker. She had wasted too much time on men who made false promises and were after one thing. John was different, this felt different.

As she began to look for the top she had decided upon in the piles of clothes around her, Anna's message tone could be heard. Walking to her dresser, she picked up her phone and immediately all she could hear was the sound of her heart, thumping a quicker rhythm as she read the name on her screen. John. He must have read her mind.

_'Hey, I realise we haven't actually discussed what we are going to do tomorrow, and I'm sure you were joking about Mum's leftovers. One of my mates has given me tickets for a gig, fancy it? We can eat beforehand, I'll meet you at Waterloo at four? Hope you are well,Your Busker.'_

Hmm, did she fancy a gig? Anna was quickly realising she'd be happy wherever he took her, so long as she was with John. And she liked music, although she suspected her tastes might slightly differ from his. His busking repertoire was usually on the money though. However, she was sure he was a rocker or secretly grungy at heart, and only sang what the public wanted to hear. That appeared to be John to a fault, making others happy, especially if Mary's party was anything to go by. She opened a window to compose a reply.

'_Hi John, a gig sounds great and four is perfect. Looking forward to it, A x_'

Just as she was about to set her phone down, it vibrated in her hands. She rolled her eyes as she noticed Ethel was calling her. Slumping down on the edge of her bed, she pressed the answer button and prepared herself for whatever her friend wanted this time.

'Hi Ethel,' Anna said less than enthusiastically.

'Anna, we are going ice skating tomorrow afternoon, don't ask me why but Daisy put the idea in our heads last night. You're coming, right? We'll pick you up at half two.'

'Erm, sorry I can't.'

'Come on, Anna.' Ethel's tone was disapproving, Anna couldn't care less. 'Staying in and watching re runs of 'Don't Tell The Bride' is not a legitimate reason to not come out. We're planning to get sloshed afterwards.'

'Good,' Anna replied, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger as she spoke, trying to remain interested in the conversation. 'I'm glad you are drinking afterwards, wouldn't want to skate intoxicated. Remember what happened when you went bowling after an afternoon in the pub? Nearly took off that blokes head with a bowling ball. Imagine what would happen when there are the blades involved.'

'He ducked just in time didn't he?' Ethel argued. 'Why can't you come out, anyway? You aren't really watching telly, are you?'

Anna wasn't sure she wanted to reveal the real reason. Friends did like to try and intervene. She wasn't sure where things were going with John, but she knew outside influences would hinder what was already growing between them. She didn't want that to happen. Although they had only been trying to help, Anna just couldn't trust her friends to keep their noses out of her business. It had happened in the past, and it would probably happen again. She owed it to herself, and to John, to be discreet.

'I just don't fancy it, and if I want to stay in and watch telly, I will. I do work hard during the week, you know.'

'Alright, settle down. You're coming for a meal on Tuesday night though, yeah?'

Anna smiled as she thought about the weekly ritual she shared with her friends. 'Of course I am, you're my girls. I wouldn't miss our meal out for the world.'

'Good. Love you.'

Anna chuckled. 'Love you too, have fun and be careful.'

'And if you can't be careful buy a pram.'

'Precisely.'

****************************  
>John looked at departure boards nervously, shifting from foot to foot. He couldn't put his finger on it, why he felt so nervous. He knew as soon as Anna was by his side his anxiety would simply fade away. He supposed it was because there was a small voice in the back of his mind telling him she might have had second thoughts. How anyone as beautiful and sophisticated as her could want to willingly give up her Sunday to spend with him he couldn't fathom. But it was only five to four, she wasn't late and her train was due to arrive at one minute to the hour.<p>

He looked down at his appearance, thinking he had done the best he could. A brown suede jacket, black sweatshirt, white t shirt underneath and jeans. His flat cap was atop his head, an essential item that he seemed to wear all year round. What else would one wear to a gig? A feeling of dread came over him, he suddenly hoped Anna hadn't gone to town on what she was wearing. Although if she had it wouldn't be a bad thing. John was sure she would look great no matter what.

Then he looked to his hand, hoping he didn't come across as too lame with the single red rose he was holding. He had told his mother about his date that morning, just before sharing Sunday lunch with her. As he was washing up, she had disappeared for a little while. After a few minutes John looked out of the kitchen window to see her wearing her gardening gloves and wielding her secateurs towards her prized rose bush.

'Roses always win a girl over, John. Trust your old mammy on that,' she had advised him in her thick, Irish brogue.

Activity by a nearby platform caught John's attention, he looking up to see her train had arrived. He scanned the crowd but couldn't spot her. Furrowing his brow, he couldn't believe that his fears may have been coming true. She was no where to be seen. Just as he was about to walk closer to the platform, he felt a hand on his left arm. Turning his head, it took all the power he had within him to stay upright. It was Anna, and she looked absolutely stunning.

Thankfully she was wearing jeans, John said to himself as he drank her in. Her hair was down, the first time John had seen it like that. Her make up was understated, yet he had never felt she needed to wear that much, if at all anyway. However, it was her smile that made it hard for him to draw breath. A warm, beautiful smile that often made him forget his name for a moment.

'Hi John.'

John. That was it.

'Hello Anna,' he replied, returning her smile. Silence fell then before John remembered he was still holding the rose. He offered it to her. 'This is for you.'

'Oh John, it's beautiful,' Anna exclaimed as she took the flower from him.

'_Thank you, mother'_ John said to himself as he put his hands in his pockets before realising he hadn't actually thought through what Anna would do with the rose once she had it. She fiddled with it awkwardly. 'Ahh, would you like me to hold it or...'

'It's alright, it will fit in my bag,' Anna said as she pulled the zip open and carefully placed the rose inside. Momentarily, John wondered why women needed bags that big before he shook the thought from his mind and concentrated on the task in hand.

'I'd just like to say you look wonderful,' John began as they started to move towards the exit of the station. He could feel his confidence growing now they were in each other's company, his belief that it was the anticipation of meeting with Anna that made him nervous ringing true.

'Thank you.' The blush on her cheek from his compliment was enough to make John's heart skip a beat. 'So where are we going?'

'The O2,' he explained before adding, 'or rather the smaller venue there. I hope you don't mind but one of my busking mates couldn't use his tickets for the Paul Weller gig and offered them to me.'

For a second, John worried Anna's music interests were probably so different to his, although she didn't appear too disheartened to hear what they would be doing that evening.

'I like live music,' she said in a tone of voice that made John smile. He thought she did, that was why she had appreciated his busking, although a part of him hoped that wasn't the only reason she stopped to listen to him. Especially now. She stopped as they passed the entrance to the underground. 'So if we are going to North Greenwich, don't we need the tube?'

John shook his head. 'We are going by the river.'

'Really?' Her face was a picture. 'I've never been on the river bus before.'

'Well, then I hope it's a nice surprise for you.'

'It certainly is.'

****************************************  
>John had been the perfect gentleman since they had met at Waterloo. It made Anna wonder why he hadn't already been snapped up by some other lucky lady. They had spoken about his visit to his mother's that morning. It was clear by the way he spoke about her how much of a strong, solid relationship they shared. It warmed her heart to hear a man talk about his mother in such glowing terms.<p>

The trip on the river had been wonderful, and although she admitted it reluctantly, romantic. He had held his hand out for her to step onto the boat, and didn't let go until they had found a seat. John was extremely attentive, asking if Anna was alright and if what he had planned for them was agreeable. She had never been out with a man who cared so much about how she was feeling. It was a new sensation to her, one she found she was enjoying.

Upon reaching The O2, John suggested they get something to eat in one of the many restaurants the venue had to offer. After deciding on a bar and grill, they got on to the subject of past experiences at the venue. Anna admitted she had probably seen far too many boybands at the arena, and was one of the few who had seen Steps on their reunion tour. John promised not to hold it against her, before beginning to whistle the tune of _5,6,7,8 _every now and then until their food arrived. Her credibility was reinstalled when she told John she had accompanied her Dad to see Bon Jovi.

The conversation then turned to their favourite music, John listing some artists that Anna had never heard of. He really knew such a wide breadth of music, it amazed her as he spoke so passionately about his favourite songs and singers. To her, music was just something to be danced to when she went out clubbing or to pass the time on the train when she listened to her iPod. To John, it was a way of life. A passion.

'You sang my favourite song on the subway that morning, after Mary's party,' Anna explained as the waiter cleared their table around them. 'I expect she told you about it.'

'She did,' John admitted, looking up to the waiter to acknowledge what he was doing. 'But it's a great song, and in my list of songs I wished I had written.'

'What else is on that list?' Anna asked, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table.

'God, now there's a question.' She felt her heart flutter as he considered what she had asked him, he running a hand through his loose hair, now flat cap free. 'Well, _Tragedy_ is definitely up there.'

'Hey,' Anna said in mock indignation, throwing her rolled up napkin in his direction. 'Don't mock me.'

'Sorry,' he held up his hands in a gesture Anna found absolutely adorable. 'I guess one of this guys songs tonight, Weller. He wrote a beautiful ballad called...'

_'You Do Something To Me?'_

Their eyes met and John nodded his agreement. 'Yeah. It's a beautiful song and one I love to sing.'

'I love it too.'

And then, he was looking at her again. In only the way that John could. He was wearing a delicious smirk that Anna suddenly realised she wanted to be the reason for every time he did it.

'Shall we make a move?' He said finally, gesturing towards the door. 'Doors open in ten minutes.'

Anna nodded and rose to her feet, suddenly feeling rather warm. The way he looked at her sometimes, she felt as if she could hardly breathe. Reaching for her coat, she made harder work than was needed of putting it on before John came to her aid. Smiling in thanks, she was glad he was walking on ahead. She didn't want it to be obvious the effect he was having on her. He must have known, though. It was difficult to hide.

Anna was falling for John. Or had she already?

*************************************  
>She had seemed to enjoy the concert, John was thankful for that. He had caught her singing along to some of the songs, in particular those from The Style Council portion of Weller's career. She had good taste- John preferred them to The Jam. The singer had saved his most famous solo song for last however, a composition which John wished he had the talent to write, or the muse. Who knew, maybe she had arrived?<p>

John could feel his blood coursing around his veins as everyone around him and Anna swayed in time to the song. Anna was standing slightly in front of him. The look on her face was breathtaking as she listened to the performance, seemingly transfixed as she stared at the stage. The lyrics were speaking to him. John never just heard a song, he felt it and now as the romantic words filled the air, John could feel his hand moving towards Anna's.

'_You do something to me, something deep inside..._'

He was trembling as his fingers edged closer to their chosen destination. John's heart was beating so fast he was surprised no one could hear it over the music that filled the venue. The moment his fingers came into contact with the soft skin of Anna's hand, a warm sensation spread throughout his body. John had felt it when their fingers had brushed the other day. A feeling of completion. Like her touch was what he had been missing all his life.

Anna was looking at him now, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted. Most importantly to John, she wasn't moving her hand away. In fact, she was gripping onto his fingers in return. The concert carried on around them as they became lost in the moment. Before he could compose himself with Anna's intense gaze on him, she was stepping closer to him, then turned to face the stage once more with her back just millimetres from his front. Standing in such close proximity to Anna, their hands still gripped tightly together was driving John to distraction. She was invading his senses. Her hair smelt wonderful, her touch was divine. John looked down to see the slope of her neck, he longed to press his lips to her skin there, to taste her. This was the closest John had ever been to Anna and it was addictive.

Then the spell was broken as the song ended and Anna let go of his hand to applaud the performance. The house lights went up, John still struggling to compose himself as Anna reached for her.

No words were spoken as they made their way out of the venue. This was serious. John was coming to realise he had never felt this way before. In such a short amount of time Anna had become all John could think about. Something was happening. Something important. Something magical. And John prayed Anna felt it too. He needed her to.

**********************************  
>When he touched her hand, Anna was sure she felt him shudder. She certainly had. She had revelled in the sensation brought on by the coarseness of his fingers against her own. Their hands fit, as if they had been made to hold the others. It all felt so right.<p>

They were standing beneath the departure boards at Waterloo once again waiting for Anna's platform to be announced. It was late, but Anna felt anything but tired. After the afternoon and evening she had shared with John, she had never felt so alive. She was longing for her train to be delayed, just so she could spend more time with this man.

'I had a great evening,' John said as they stood together in the middle of the station concourse.

'Me too,' Anna agreed without missing a beat, John smiling at her enthusiastic response. 'And the concert was fantastic. I really enjoyed it.'

'I'm glad, Paul Weller is such a talented artist.'

'And it's his Style Council stuff I have to download?' Anna asked, reminding herself of the conversation she and John had on the boat back from North Greenwich.

'Yeah,' John replied before cocking his head to the side, shrugging his shoulders before continuing. 'Well, the Jam are great but The Style Council are my favourites.'

'Well they must be good if you like them.'

Her platform was called then, and Anna suddenly felt a sensation of sadness wash through her. It was so silly. They would have to say goodbye and that task felt almost monumental.

'Platform eleven,' John said softly, a small laugh following his words.

'Yep,' Anna shrugged. 'Eleven.'

'Goodbye then, Anna.' His hand was on the top of her arm, she closed her eyes at the contact. When she opened them, Anna was surprised to see he had moved towards her. Then it registered, he was going to kiss her. Her mind emptied, all she could think about was the feel of John's lips upon her skin. He had veered towards her cheek, the sensation of his breath coming in short gasps against her ear absolutely heavenly. His lips made contact with her skin and Anna was overwhelmed, feeling as if she was floating on air. And then he had pulled away, a moment which had lasted a few seconds had left an impression on Anna that had changed her forever.

In that moment she realised she never wanted another man to hold her hand, to place his lips upon her skin, or to look at her in the way that John did. No man could ever come close to making her feel the same way again.

'I'd love to do this again sometime,' John admitted, his demeanour suddenly turning a little coy. 'If you want to, of course.'

'I'd love that.'

'I'll call you tomorrow evening but text me when you get home tonight,' John requested, 'so I know you're safe.'

'I will,' Anna promised, 'and you too, or else I'll worry.'

'Well,' John began before taking a breath. His face then took on a particularly brooding expression, one which made Anna's breath hitch in her throat. 'We can't have that.'


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Thanks once again for the response to this story. It was just a little idea that played in my head and to know others enjoy it so much means a lot. I cherish every review, favourite and follow. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer**- Downton still doesn't belong to me.

* * *

><p>Was it cold? John didn't notice. He looked to his right to his colleague to see him jigging about, blowing onto his hands trying to warm them up. It must be, John could see his breath in the night air in front of him. However, his thoughts were filled with what he was doing this time last night. John was with Anna as the music filled the room, holding her hand, sharing a moment that he hoped was as defining for her as it was for him.<p>

Anna had walked passed him that morning, the morning after and the smile she was wearing was absolutely breathtaking. He thought singing Weller would have been a bit obvious, so he tapped into his MJ side and tried a little bit of _The Way You Make Me Feel._ She seemed to appreciate it, leaving John a five pound note, rather than her usual two pound coin. He received a text message a few minutes later, from Anna, saying she would love to paint the town with him anytime. He had read that message a hundred times over.

'What's got you so happy?' Thomas's voice caught John's attention, cutting through his beautiful thoughts like a knife. 'Got yourself a woman, have you?'

'Even if I had I wouldn't tell you,' John replied to his fellow bouncer. He kicked the ground beneath his feet before continuing. 'I don't mind sharing a shift with you, I can't help that, but details about our private lives, I don't think so.'

'Alright,' Thomas exclaimed, raising a hand. 'Just trying to make conversation.'

He felt a vibration in his pocket as Thomas was speaking, reaching inside to reveal his phone. It was a text message from Robert.

Tomorrow night, bonfire party at my house. Don't try and get out of it, I know you're not working. See you then.

John heaved a heavy sigh. He hated fireworks. He stood out in the cold four nights a week. On his evenings off he appreciated things like sitting in an armchair, heating turned up and a cup of tea beside him. God, how old was he?

'A message from your fancy woman, is it?'

Thomas was still speaking, John did wish he would just be quiet. Choosing to ignore the question, John replied to the message confirming his attendance.

'You know, maybe a woman in your life would loosen you up a bit.'

'If I need advice on what is good for me, you are the last person I would ask, Thomas.'

John was relieved as a group of women approached the club, rather loud and looking like they were having a throughly enjoyable evening. John smiled as they reached him, stepping aside as they made their way into the venue.

'Evening ladies, special occasion is it?'

*******************************  
>The garden was huge. Anna had never actually been out here before. The house was big enough, but the garden hammered home to Anna how the other half live. Mary had invited her to her father's party, Anna felt it rude to refuse. She could think of better things to be doing, like redoing her nails or being wrapped up in a blanket watching television. But fireworks were nice, she supposed.<p>

Anna hadn't spoken to John today, their only interaction coming from his busking that morning. As she walked past, he had chosen an Oasis song, much more his comfort zone and better suited to him than Michael Jackson. She had taken to leaving him a fiver now, she did have a concert ticket and river bus journey to pay him back for after all.

'Dad's going to do the fireworks in a little while,' Mary explained as she handed Anna a cup of tea.

'Alright,' Anna smiled politely, accepting the drink. She looked across the small fire which had just been started by Matthew and Tom, Sybil's boyfriend. She saw the young couple whispering sweet nothings and sharing a joke with each other. Anna liked Tom, he had always been polite to her on the occasions they had met. Sybil was obviously smitten with him.

'Don't they make you sick?' Mary remarked, grimacing as she took in the sight of her little sister and her boyfriend.

Anna laughed awkwardly as Mary made her way back inside. However, as she watched her friend disappear into the kitchen, her heart beat quickened in a instant. She could make out a familiar figure through the window. He was smiling, that beautiful smile that Anna now saw every time she closed her eyes. Mary was showing him outside, and then he looked out of the window. Eye contact. This unexplainable weakness spread throughout her, one which she was recognising was her body's natural reaction every time she saw this man. He was walking towards her, their gaze still locked on the other from the first moment their eyes had met.

'Hello,' John said, nodding his head as he joined her. 'How are you?'

'Fine,' Anna managed to answer, clutching on to her tea a little tighter. 'You?'

'All the better for seeing you.' His smile was a little wider now, it was all Anna could do not to swoon there and then. 'I'm sorry I didn't call today. I was working last night, and it was a late one so I went home after busking and fell asleep. Next thing I knew I needed to get ready to come here.'

'That's alright, ' Anna brushed a lock of hair from her eyes. 'It's lovely to see you.'

'Shall we sit?' John suggested, pointing to two deck chairs placed a few metres from them. Anna nodded and followed John, he allowing her to sit before doing the same himself. He really was a gentleman, Anna noted.

A comfortable silence fell then, both becoming lost in the colours of the fire as they sipped quietly from their tea. More people were joining them around the fire, Matthew and Mary, Cora and Edith. They were all engrossed in a conversation about Edith's latest news story to really notice Anna and John were there. Anna didn't mind. She wanted to tell John how much of a wonderful time she had on Sunday evening, but she didn't want to come across too strong. So many times in the past she had been too over eager, revealed what was in her heart too soon and it had put men off. She couldn't bear that to happen with John. A flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, John leaning closer to Anna. She had learnt this usually indicated the man beside her was about to say something.

'You know, Anna...'

'Alright then, John.' All attention turned to Robert coming back into the garden, armed with a guitar. 'Ready for a sing song?'

Frustrated at being interrupted, John closed his eyes, sighing deeply causing Anna to chuckle softly. He turned slightly to regard his friend. 'What about the fireworks, Rob?'

'They can wait,' Robert waved away his friend's question.

'We want the fireworks, Dad,' Sybil moaned from her position sitting on Tom's lap.

'Yeah, that's why we are all here, isn't it?' Mary agreed, 'to see the fireworks, not to hear John's singing. We need to pick George up from Isobel's at ten.'

'Thanks Mary,' John saluted her in a sarcastic manner.

'Come on, Dad,' Edith encouraged her father.

Robert stuttered a little, clasping his hands together. 'See, what happened is...' He stuttered again. 'The truth is.'

'Oh Dad, what is it?' Mary huffed impatiently.

'I forgot to buy the fireworks.'

A ripple of laughter rumbled amongst the men. Anna was confused as to how a man could arrange a fireworks party, but neglect to purchase the fireworks.

Mary, ever the honest and practical one couldn't help but comment. 'How can you organise a firework party but forget to buy what we are all here to see?'

'I ran into Anthony Strallan.' Robert looked at John. 'You remember Bumbling Tony, John? Tall, blonde, posher than a Tory going fox hunting...'

'Dad,' Mary exclaimed. 'How did running into an old pal result in your forgetting fireworks?'

'We went for a pint and before I realised the time, the shop had shut.'

Anna had to admit, she didn't know Robert that well but what he had just described sounded like something Mary's father's would do.

'It doesn't matter,' Matthew tried to defend his father in law, being met with an icy glare by Mary. 'Besides, John might be able to give us that rendition of _Smells Like Teen Spirit._'

'I'm not sure everyone wants to listen to me,' John said, declining the guitar Robert was now holding in his direction.

'Well, you might as well,' Mary shrugged, 'there's nothing else to do now. I'm sure Anna would love it.'

Anna's eyes were instantly on her friend, who was finding Anna's reaction wholly amusing. Why did she have to do this? Why did Mary have to use any opportunity she could to embarrass Anna, particularly when it came to men? What Anna did notice, was that John was taking the guitar from Robert. She looked at him, he was smiling in her direction as he put the guitar strap over his head. His next words Anna decided to interpret as John standing up for her, that he understood how Mary was making her feel.

'Well, I'm very flattered someone like Anna would be interested in what I do. I can't really refuse, can I?'

'Yeah,' Tom hollered enthusiastically, 'that's what I'm talking about. Are you taking requests, John?

As he tuned in the guitar, Robert pulled up a chair to the campfire. 'Do some Eagles. Or Bowie, John.'

'No, do Nirvana,' Matthew piped up.

'Why don't we let ladies pick first?' John suggested, his gaze meeting Anna's once more. 'What would you like to hear, Anna?'

He could sing the phone book and Anna would be enthralled. 'Surprise me.'

**********************************  
>After singing what seemed like the entire hits of the eighties and nineties, with a few modern classics thrown in, John was finally given a reprieve when Mary and Matthew had to return home to George. It was getting colder, but John had to say he hadn't noticed. There was a look in Anna's eyes that was keeping him more than warm enough. He had given up the guitar to a rather merry Tom, who was currently standing on a chair, pretending he was on stage at Glastonbury, Sybil playing the part of a rather over enthusiastic groupie perfectly. Edith was looking on, laughing at intervals although she seemed distant. John made a mental note to ask her later on what was on her mind.<p>

'You were wonderful, as usual,' Anna said, her beautiful voice never failing to affect John. He couldn't help but smile, turning his head to look at her. 'I have the day off work tomorrow.'

'Lucky you,' John replied, rubbing his hands together, the cold slowly seeping in to his bones. 'And how are you planning to spend your time off?'

'Well, I was going to go and see the Poppies at the Tower Of London tomorrow, and was wondering if you'd like to join me?'

John was flummoxed. He knew they had shared a nice evening at the gig but it still amazed him every time that Anna wanted to spend time with him. Someone as gorgeous, flawless, wonderful as her. And what a perfect suggestion. With a military background, it had been John's intention to visit the memorial to those who had made the ultimate sacrifice. He couldn't imagine seeing it with anyone better than Anna.

'I'd love to,' John answered.

They shared a smile, before the moment was irreversibly shattered.

'John,' Robert called from the kitchen door. 'Matthew's car won't start. Come and help us give it a shove.'

*************************************  
>She was sure her blush had covered her entire body. She felt warm, despite the cool temperature and the slight wintry breeze blowing throughout the station concourse. His smile as she approached him, under the clock as usual, heated her veins more than any fire could ever come close to. How did he manage it? Why did she allow it to happen? How could she be so weak as to allow one glance from this man render her helpless, lost.<p>

Anna had to admit, this was probably the most dressed up he had ever seen her. She was wearing a dress and heels, despite the tights covering her legs she had noticed his gaze wandering lower. Most men who looked at her in this way made her feel uncomfortable, but John was different. She felt a thrill course through her that she realised in that moment she had never felt before. Another new sensation this man had evoked within her.

Allowing herself a rather indulgent moment, she had noticed John looking rather smart also. More than smart. He was gorgeous, Anna had already made up her mind on that fact. There was no flat cap today. His dark hair was slicked back, although, as always, there was one errant lock of hair that fell above his eyebrow. The black suede jacket he was wearing was a good choice, Anna could deduce from the top button he had left undone he was wearing a white shirt and grey sweater underneath. She had always liked that fashion on a man.

Anna had realised all this before they had even left the station. She was faintly aware of John suggesting they take the river bus once more having heard on the news that it was advised people avoided the tube due to the sheer volume of people wanting to see the Poppies. She found herself agreeing, and would never admit it to the man standing beside her that it was because just maybe, he would take her hand again to help her aboard the boat.

As they queued to board, John was talking about how the Poppies came to be at the tower, how much work had gone into the wonderful tribute. Anna was transfixed as he talked so passionately about it, clearly feeling a little closer to the memorial having been in the army himself. Anna knew John had seen some traumatic sights in the past, having heard Mary's tales about what her father had experienced. John and Robert were both in the same regiment, on the same missions at the same time so must have shared experiences that had formed an unbreakable bond between them.

The conversation died down a little as they reached the boat. And Anna's hopes were realised. John stepped forward a little before holding his hand out in Anna's direction. He was grinning, Anna couldn't help but reciprocate. Moving a trembling hand towards his, she grasped her whole hand around three of his fingers, his hands were that much bigger than hers. She liked that though. It gave her a feeling of being safe, secure. Then his thumb began to caress the backs of her fingers. He hadn't done that last time. It felt heavenly. Breathtakingly perfect. She couldn't look at him in the moment, the sensations of his fingers moving against hers meaning one look and it would all become too much. Anna walked forward, avoiding his gaze. He stepped on behind her, their fingers still entwined by their sides as Anna searched for a seat. He had stilled the movements of his fingers, Anna didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed. They found somewhere to sit at the back of the boat.

On the journey to the tower, Anna quickly noticed John had put his arm around the seat behind her. God, what this man was doing to her and the thing was, he probably didn't even notice. She tried to regulate her quickened breathing as John pointed out The Globe theatre. Anna admitted she was a bit of a fan of Shakespeare. Most people were surprised when Anna revealed this, thinking it somewhat too high brow for her tastes, but not John. He smiled warmly, even nodding. After revealing he wasn't that much of an admirer of Shakespeare himself, John backed up his remark by saying the man was responsible for taking up hours of his teenage years he would never get back. Anna couldn't help but laugh. There was an honesty John possessed that Anna wished she could find an ounce of within her.

As they grew nearer to the tower, Anna noticed John become quieter, taking on a melancholy demeanour. She heard him sigh, and was recognising that with the memories he stored within his mind, this day could be quite difficult. Sure, the memorial was there to remember those who had fallen in The Great War, but she understood it could be a poignant place for any member of the armed services, regardless of which battles they had fought.

Approaching the tower, Anna was taken aback by the crowds. The country of her birth carried out events like this like no other nation in the world could come close to doing. They stopped for a moment, and Anna could sense that John was looking at her. He wasn't smiling however, but there was a warmth in his eyes, a sense of gratitude perhaps that Anna had asked him to accompany her today. He offered her his arm, Anna understanding that he must have sensed her nervousness at walking through the hoards of people ahead of them. She gratefully took his invitation, linking her arm through his. Once he had put his hand back in his jacket pocket, they continued and found a gap at the fencing, overlooking the grand display that had been painstakingly put together.

The Poppies all planted together created an image that Anna was sure she would never extinguish from her mind. Each one represented a person, a son, father, brother, someone with a family and hopes and dreams of their own. Each had made the ultimate sacrifice for their King and country, to give everyone at the tower that day their freedom. Every man, and indeed woman nowadays, who joined the army was in essence, making that promise. John had made that promise, although thank God it had never come to that, not for him anyway. That realisation hit her quite hard, and she could feel tears stinging in the back of her eyes, caught up in the whole atmosphere and emotion that charged around the Tower of London.

She clutched John's arm a little tighter and in the next moment felt him place his hand over the one that Anna had rested on the crook of his arm. She looked up. What she saw, it caused her to gasp, thankfully just quietly enough that only she could hear it. There was a solitary tear falling down John's cheek. Anna's heart ached. She longed to reach up, wipe that tear from his face and assure John that everything was alright. But clearly it wasn't, not for him. She suddenly felt guilty for asking him here, but her fears were quashed when he moved his head to look at her, the slightest tug of a smile playing at his lips.

'This is beautiful,' he whispered, moving his hand to wipe the tear that had escaped his eye before his small laugh filled the air. 'I don't mean to embarrass you.'  
>'I'm not embarrassed.' Anna had never uttered a truer statement in her life. 'I have some knowledge of your past, of your history with Robert. Mary has mentioned it before. Which is why I am feeling a little bad at having asked you to come here today. I should have realised that this might be painful for you.'<p>

'Please, don't feel like that. I have been meaning to come down here, I just never found the right time.' John looked over his shoulder, noticing a small kiosk in the distance that sold coffee. 'Can we get a drink, over there?'

Anna nodded, following John with her arm still through his as he navigated their way through the crowd. He bought her coffee at one of the outlets by the river, and the sat on a bench, overlooking the Thames, Tower Bridge the backdrop. Anna allowed John to do all the talking, wanting to be everything he needed her to be in that moment. And right now, he needed her to listen.

John explained about his last deployment within the army, with Robert. Once they were through, after the six months, both would be retiring from the army. Forty years service between them. They had done their bit. John would return to civilian life, perhaps get a job in the fire service. Robert and Cora had plans of opening their own hotel. Both of them were set. Deployments to Bosnia and Iraq had resulted in their fair share of scrapes, but nothing too damaging, they had been the lucky ones. John laughed as he recalled stories of the camaraderie between the men in his regiment. How he regarded them as brothers.

'I would have died for any one of them,' he admitted with a seriousness to his tone that meant Anna knew he wasn't lying. She couldn't begin to comprehend the bonds soldiers form with each other when in operation. The fact you would give your life to save those around you. Like a family, she supposed.

He broke down then, and Anna was left completely speechless. This poor man kept this side of him completely locked away. She would never have had any idea if Mary hadn't spoken about it. John appeared to have such a sunny outlook on life from the outside, but inside he was harbouring painful memories that no person should have to cope with alone. Although she felt like this man knew her like no other, there was so much about John, Anna didn't know yet. She knew better than to question him further, however. If he wanted to reveal more, he would. All she wanted to do in that moment was place her arms around John. So she did. Her arm came to rest around his shoulders. John leaned into her touch, his hands covering his face, his coffee long since dropped to the ground. She brought her other arm around his front to gently rub John's shoulder, in an attempt to soothe him. Slowly, his sobs subsided until the silence became almost deafening. If he wanted her to hold him for a hundred years, she would have done it. But sooner than she would have liked, he was sitting up and Anna relinquished her touch on him.

'Sorry,' he spluttered, rubbing his eyes furiously. 'I shouldn't have done that.'

'It's alright,' Anna whispered, 'really it is. You do whatever you need to do.'

'Believe me, collapsing on you a jibbering wreck is not how I envisaged today going.'

'And how did you envisage today going, Mr Bates?' Her tone was teasing, and Anna believed John appreciated it as he smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever.

'That we'd see the Poppies, hear the Last Post and that then you would accompany me to dinner.' His smile broadened. 'Does that sound like something Miss Smith would enjoy?'

'I think Miss Smith would enjoy that very much.'

***************************  
>God, why had he allowed himself to lose control like that? This was a side of himself that he had promised Anna wouldn't see. Not yet, anyway. Yes, his memories of his last deployment were painful, but he was dealing with them. Or so he thought. He reasoned that the emotions of the day, what they were doing, were probably the catalyst for his breakdown but still, he hoped Anna didn't think any less of him.<p>

He banished those thoughts from his mind. Anna would never think like that, she didn't have that judgemental streak within her. She had wrapped him in her embrace, her warm welcoming embrace and for those few moments she became his safety net, his port in the storm. He found his memories subsiding until all he could feel was her arms wrapped around him and this feeling of comfort overwhelmed him. He had never felt it before. She felt like home.

After hearing the Last Post, thankfully she had accepted his arm once again, and they had dinner in a restaurant near the tower. Anna didn't ask about what had caused what happened beside the river earlier, and he was glad of that. They spoke about how beautiful the Poppies looked, and what a moving tribute they were. John couldn't help but come back to the same thought over and over again, how stunning Anna looked. With her coat discarded now they were in the warmth of the restaurant, he couldn't help but appreciate how her dark blue dress accentuated the curve of her body. He hated himself for thinking of Anna in that way, and only allowed these thoughts to pass through his mind for the briefest of seconds. However, he was but a man, the weakest of all creatures.

Her hair was particularly beautiful. Framing her perfect face, her eyes bluer today than he had noticed before. She was now talking about Shakespeare and trying to defend his work. Her manner was always displaying a hint of the mischievous, trying to provoke a reaction from him which John was trying hard to ignore.

'All I'm saying is,' John finally gave in as he finished the last spoonful of his dessert. 'All the times I spent in my bedroom trying to analyse why some Danish king would be so at war with the world was time I could have spent doing other things.'

'Other things,' she paused for a moment, her eyebrow raised. Her smirk was delicious. John missed a breath at the sight of it. 'In your room?' He felt himself blush, that wasn't what he meant and Anna knew it. 'Did you spend a lot of time in your room during your teenage years?'

The minx. John searched for anything to change the subject. 'Lets get the bill, shall we?'

Arriving back at the station, they waited beneath the departure boards for Anna's train to be announced. When it was, the same disheartening feeling came over John that always did when they were about to say goodbye. Anna moved in front of him, looking up and meeting his gaze.

'I had a wonderful afternoon and evening with you, John.'

'Me too,' he replied without missing a beat, clenching his jaw in an attempt not to reveal how hard it was to part from her. He could feel an urge rising within him as they stared into each other's eyes. They had never shared a kiss before, just the brief touch of his lips on her cheek. But after today, what they had shared, he wanted to more than anything. John wanted to kiss Anna.

He took her hand in his. He heard Anna gasp. His heartbeat began to thunder in his ears upon hearing it. In the next moment John found himself moving towards her. Anna wasn't moving away. John was mentally preparing himself for the sensation of brushing his lips against hers, how soft they would feel. There was hardly anything between them now, John closed his eyes. This was it.

'Can I have your attention please. This is a platform alteration.'

The announcement over the tannoy was louder than any of them had been expecting. Anna jumped away, and the moment was shattered. John released her hand, the two of them simply staring at each other. She wasn't smiling. He mentally begged her to say something, anything.

'I should get going.'

Okay, maybe not just anything. Her words cut through him. His response was weak.

'Alright.'

She nodded. Had he gone to far? She must have known his intention was to kiss her. Maybe she hadn't wanted him to and the announcement was a welcome relief. Maybe his display earlier had altered her opinion of him. No, it wouldnt have done. Anna wasn't like that. All John knew, was that he couldn't end today like this.

'Text me when you get home.' His remark was more of a question than a demand.

'I will.'

The relief he felt as she smiled was indescribable. Maybe he had got away with that one. She waved before turning on her heel and picking up her pace towards her platform. As he left the station that night John decided any 'physical acts', how he hated that phrase, that occurred between him and Anna would happen on her terms. Perhaps she had some memories from her past that burdened her somewhat. They still had so much to learn about each other.

John just prayed after today, Anna still wanted to find out.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I was holding out on you. I have actually had the last two chapters ready for over a fortnight. Because of the wonderful response to the last chapter and what series 5 has left us with, I am giving you this next one as well. Thanks so much :) **

**I love the modern fictions posted here, especially the ones with a touch of the comedic about them. There is a more jovial tone to this chapter than the last, I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer**- Nope, Downton is still not mine.

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><p>Standing in the cold winter's night, the club not particularly busy this evening, John allowed his mind to wander. Weeks had passed and soon everyone was caught up in the excitement only Christmas could bring. John liked Christmas, memories of his childhood in Ireland still warming his heart on the cold London nights.<p>

However recently his heart had been warmed for a completely different reason.

Anna. Ever since that November day at the Poppies, their friendship had only seemed to grow and grow. Meeting for dinner on occasions, going to the cinema, seeing each other at the Crawley's, exchanging what seemed like a hundred texts a day. To know Anna wanted to spend time with John still had him confused, but he'd be a fool to question it.

They would always hold hands on their meetings now, whether it be to and from the car or whilst watching a movie. During one particularly frightening film, Anna even found solace in resting her head on John's shoulder. That film had since become one of his most favourites, and it was nothing to do with what was going on on the screen. But there was one thing which was still to come, one bridge they were still yet to cross.

That elusive first kiss.

John ended every date with a kiss on the cheek, praying Anna would turn her head or meet him halfway. She never did. Although, the chemistry that seemed to crackle between them non stop suggested to John that Anna was very interested in him. He had stayed true to his word however, anything that happened between them was on her terms. They had been getting to know each other better, but John couldn't help but think something had happened to her before they had met. And for that reason, he wouldn't push his luck.

But something had to give. He'd heard of respectful courtships, this was a little bit over the top.

********************************  
>'What do you mean he hasn't kissed you yet?' Daisy exclaimed as Gwen reached their table with a tray of drinks.<p>

Ethel, in the middle of a phone call, covered the speaker of her phone before whispering, 'he hasn't even kissed you?'

It was the Tuesday night ritual between Anna and her friends, their 'date night' as Ethel liked to call it. Anna had revealed she was seeing someone, but hadn't told them his identity or especially how they had met. They had been supportive and thankfully, none of their paths ever crossed with Anna's other close friend, Mary.

'I just don't get it,' Anna continued, smiling at Gwen when she passed her her drink. Anna looked up to see Ethel seemingly listening to what Anna was saying and still holding a conversation on the phone at the same time. 'Ethel, will you get off the phone? I had to listen to you describe the trauma of running out of anti bacterial gel whilst using the Underground, the least you can do is listen to me.'

'Carry on, honey,' she whispered, 'I can hear you.'

Rolling her eyes, Anna continued. 'There is a spark between us, I know. The way he looks at me,' Anna stopped talking, sighing out loud causing Daisy and Gwen to share knowing looks and smiles. 'I just don't know why he won't kiss me.'

'Maybe his doo dah doesn't work,' Ethel supposed.

'Ethel!' Anna exclaimed.  
>'What?' Ethel shrugged before pointing at her phone. 'I didn't say that to you, I said that to Steve.'<p>

A collective groan of realisation passed between the three other women. Gwen and Daisy announced they were visiting the ladies, Anna nodding in acknowledgement. She took the stirrer in her drink between her thumb and forefinger and rotated it a few times, staring at the liquid in her glass as she did so. Ethel's conversation continued in the background, Anna wasn't really taking much notice.

She rested her head on the hand that wasn't stirring her drink and sighed. She just couldn't stop thinking about John. He had invaded her mind and she had to admit, it was a glorious feeling. To feel this way about somebody, it was all Anna had ever wanted. It was early days, she knew that but Anna would be lying to say she wasn't disappointed she and John hadn't shared a kiss. Maybe he didn't fancy her enough. No, it couldn't have been that. Anna was a woman, she knew when a man was interested. Either that or acting was another string to John's rather impressive bow.

Perhaps her reaction to the kiss they almost had at the station confused John. She was going to kiss him, she had wanted John to kiss her. The tannoy had startled her and she jumped. In that moment it dawned on her how much John meant to her, especially after what they had shared that afternoon. She needed to get away, to have time to process everything, to breathe.

'Oh dear, Anna. Over analysing in that little head of ours again are we?' Ethel had finished her phone call and was now casting a quizzical eye over the woman sitting opposite her.

'What do you know, Ethel? You've been chatting on your phone since we got in the taxi.'

'I can listen to more than one conversation at a time,' Ethel shrugged, 'it's a skill, especially handy when you are as nosey as I am.'

'Your mother must be so proud.'

Ethel chose to ignore her friends comment. 'Are you coming clubbing on Saturday? The last big Saturday night before Christmas, baby.'

'I've already told the other girls, I can't.' Anna replied before taking a sip of her drink. 'I'm going to a party at my boss' parent's house. But we are all getting together next Tuesday like we always do.'

'Are you going back home for Christmas?' Ethel enquired before adding, 'Mum practically begged me to go back this year. Apparently my little sister needs whipping into shape.'

Anna shook her head. 'Dad has taken Mum to Mauritius for Christmas and my brother is busy at work so isn't coming over from America so no one shall be at home. Me and Gwen are spending Christmas together.'

'Aren't we all so lucky, that we have each other?' Ethel smiled, running a finger over the rim of her glass as she spoke. 'Four Yorkshire girls finding each other in a big, bad southern city.'

'Yes, the South Bank University didn't know what had hit it that year.'

As the words left her mouth, Anna heard her message alert tone. Reaching into her bag, she saw that it was a text from John. Immediately, her heartbeat quickened as with fumbling fingers, she swiped the screen to unlock the device.

'Calm down, Anna. He's only a man.'

What Ethel didn't realise was John wasn't only a man. He was so much more that that.

What was it with this woman? Whenever John was with her, he never felt the cold, when they were apart thoughts of her were enough to keep him warm. After sharing dinner, they walked along the South Bank towards Waterloo, which had become almost routine as they ended their time together, Anna was in a delightfully playful mood. There was an age gap, John knew it now to be a decade. But it never showed, not for John anyway. They were so in tune with each other, it was never noticeable.

She was holding his hand, but swinging their arms as they walked. They had got onto the subject of music, but this time it was Anna's tastes under the microscope. Adele was her idol, John had established that pretty early on. However, her revelations had left John wondering if he really knew Anna at all.

'So your tastes consist of pretty boys with more six pack than singing talent?'

'Yeah, so?' She shrugged, stopping before standing in front of John, their hands still entwined and looking up at him. 'Explains why I admire your talent so much.'

John regarded her for a moment, his eyes narrowed. She couldn't be serious, then she began to laugh and it was confirmed for him. 'Ha Ha. The only six packs on this body will be the John Smith's I share with Robert on Saturday night.'

As they continued to walk hand in hand, John looked over to see Big Ben displaying the time as half past ten. Another evening in Anna's company had flown by. But he was also reminded of a bet they had made over dinner. Mary's snooping into their relationship had become a running joke between the pair, but Anna was adamant, after a word with her friend, she wouldn't be texting to ask how their date was going. John wasn't so sure.

'Has she been in touch yet?' John asked, gesturing towards Anna's bag.

'Nope.' She looked entirely too pleased with herself. 'And would you credit it? We are nearly back at Waterloo. Looks like you are going to lose the bet.'

They walked past the Shell Building and John had to concede defeat, the stairs to Waterloo now visible. 'Alright. What is my punishment?'

'When I walk past you in the morning, you shall be singing a song of my choosing.'

'Oh God,' John cringed, looking to the heavens. 'I'll have to be honest and say my knowledge of nineties pop isn't the best.'

But Anna wasn't listening. She had spotted a Christmas novelty store just at the bottom of the stairs and was already leading John towards it. Jumpers, t-shirts and headwear all with a Christmas theme were on display. He wasn't a Scrooge by any means, but he always felt people who wasted their money on such things probably had too much money to spare. And now Anna was buying something. John stood back as she made her purchase before she turned around, the most beautiful grin brightening her features. She was holding reindeer antlers, complete with bells.

'Seeing as you lost the bet, I want you to sing Dancing Queen by ABBA tomorrow morning, wearing these.'

John raised an eyebrow as he took the offending item from Anna, jangling them for effect. She was laughing, and John had to admit it was a wonderful sound, like music to his ears. What he would give to make her laugh for the rest of his days.

'I accept your challenge, Miss Smith,' John's manner was determined as he placed the antlers on his head. 'But only because I am an honourable man and an honourable man keeps to his word.'

'You look ridiculous, talking about honour with those on your head.'

'I'll have you know, if Rudolph hadn't stepped in when he did that foggy Christmas Eve no children would have got their presents that year. That's pretty honourable.'

'You have an answer for everything.'

******************************************  
>Anna was secretly looking forward to this. She had bought John a coffee along with hers this morning, hoping to soften the humiliation of having to perform wearing the antlers. As she approached the walkway, she could hear a singing voice she would now recognise anywhere. Slowing her pace, Anna peered around the corner to see a crowd gathered around Her Busker, and sure enough the antlers were upon his head. Unable to keep the smile from her face, she continued on her way towards John. He was looking in her direction now and he reciprocated her smile almost instantly.<p>

'You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life...'

John was accepting his punishment with good grace, Anna had to admit. He was really giving his all to the song but then again, Anna didn't expect anything less. As she reached him, she saw he had almost double the money he would normally have at this time of the morning. The antlers must have really been working for him. Either that or he had a new line of admirers.

She stood and watched as he finished the song, receiving a round of applause from a small crowd that had gathered in front of him. He bowed, before they all dropped their loose change in his case.

'Thank you, Merry Christmas.'

Then his attentions were on Anna, and she suddenly remembered she was holding a coffee for him. 'This is for you. Thought you might need it, it's quite cold today.'

'Thank you.' John moved his guitar so it was resting on his back and gratefully took the coffee from Anna. He began to take a sip before grinning. Anna was intrigued.

'What is it?'

'Nothing,' he shook his head, still wearing that grin

'John Bates, it's something. Tell me.'

He did something next that Anna found adorable, cocking his head to the side a little, suddenly becoming a little coy. 'This is the first time you've actually stopped to talk to me in the morning. It's nice.'

Anna couldn't stop the blush that was flooding her cheeks, especially when John was looking at her in the way in which he was right now. He must know the effect he had on her, it was all she could do to hide it these days.

'Well, things are different now, aren't they?'

'They most definitely are.'

The man just oozed charm, simple things said in a certain way and Anna was lost. Clearing her throat, Anna averted her eyes from John and looked at her watch.

'I need to get going, but I'll see you tomorrow night, yeah?'

'Oh yes, can't wait.' And with those words, John finished his coffee in one then gently gripped Anna's arm. 'See you tomorrow.'

In the next moment, Anna was moving away, looking back over her shoulder to see John rearranging his guitar. He noticed her looking at him and offered a little wave. Anna waved back then turned in her heel and continued on her way.

Tomorrow evening couldn't come soon enough.

*********************************  
>There may have been thirty or so other people at the party, Robert and Cora's friends but John could honestly say he hadn't noticed them. From the moment Anna walked through the door following Mary, everyone and everything else had paled into comparison. She had been forced to help Mary in the kitchen at first, but he watched from his position by the mantelpiece in the living room as she went about tasks, appearing every so often to carry trays of food through to the dining room.<p>

She was wearing a gorgeous red dress, her hair was up, ringlets he supposed they were called, hanging down at the front. He couldn't find words adequate enough to describe how beautiful she looked this evening. She was laughing, smiling and John had never seen a more perfect sight in all his life. Anna hadn't noticed him yet, but Mary was taking drink requests and Anna seemed to be fulfilling them so it was only a matter of time, he supposed.

'Food should be ready in a little bit, Uncle John,' Sybil said, approaching him. 'Are you alright? You seem in your own world.'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' John replied, wrapping his arms around his Goddaughter. 'I have something for you actually.'

'Oh, I love presents,' Sybil cooed, clasping her hands together. John handed her an envelope. 'What's this?'

'Well, a rather large birdy in the form of your father told me you and Tom were planning on moving in together in the new year. So here is some money towards whatever you want to do.'

Sybil tore into the envelope, revealing a cheque. She gasped upon reading it. 'Uncle John, I can't accept this.'

'You can and you will, I am your Godfather and with no children of my own to spoil, I am going to spoil you.'

Pulling John into her embrace, Sybil kissed him on the cheek. They stayed this way for a few moments until John saw Anna walking in his direction, holding what looked like the drink he had asked Mary for. He broke away from Sybil, stroking her cheek and winking at her before she hurried rather excitedly to find Tom.

'Good evening,' Anna greeted John, handing him his drink.

'Evening,' John smiled, taking the glass from her. 'Thank you.'

'Mary has me on waitressing duties, but I'll be over to speak to you soon.'

'You look really pretty tonight,' John said with all the sincerity he could muster. Anna's grin in response made John relieved he had the wall behind him for support.

'Anna!'

Mary was calling for Anna from the kitchen, she rolling her eyes so only John could see. 'I'll be back.'

The evening continued in much the same way. Anna and John barely spent any time together, much to his chagrin. Once she had finished helping her friend, some colleagues from the fashion house were monopolising her time. She appeared to be enjoying herself, and John would have hated to interrupt so he remained in his place by the mantelpiece. Watching her. Falling for her even more, it would seem.

He sensed his opportunity to get Anna on her own when she went into the kitchen. Striding across the room, John reached the door just as Anna was about to walk out again. Their gaze met, and John was suddenly speechless. He just didn't know what to say. Watching Anna tonight had made him realise how utterly out of his league she really was.

'Oh my god, John and Anna are under the mistletoe!'

Sybil was practically jumping up and down and clapping her hands together a few feet from them. John and Anna looked up simultaneously to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the top of the doorframe. He looked down to meet Anna's eye again.

'Aren't you going to kiss her?' Mary asked as she moved to stand beside Sybil.

'Lucky man, Bates. Getting Anna under the mistletoe,' Robert teased, tapping his friend o n the shoulder. 'Kiss her, then.'

John realised this was it, the moment he had been waiting weeks for. He and Anna were about to share their first kiss. He began to move towards her and just as their lips were about to meet, Anna ducked out of the way and ran out of the living room. He was so confused. What was going on? Why didn't Anna want to kiss him?

He chased her out of the room, finding her in the hallway of the house, hastily putting on her coat.

'Anna, what's wrong?' She turned to regard him and John could see she was starting to cry. 'I'm really sorry, but I'm so confused. Don't you want me to kiss you?'

'Not like that.' Her tone was sharp, angry even and John didn't like it. Anna had never addressed him in this way, her voice tore through John like a blade, tearing his soul. 'I want you to kiss me because you want to, not because you are being egged on by Mary and her Dad.'

Without another word, she walked towards the front door. John followed her, panic stricken that he had ruined the one good thing in his life, the only thing he was coming to realise that was real. Anna was already hailing a cab as John reached the doorstep. She was heading for the tube. District line. Fulham Broadway was the nearest station. If he headed to Parsons Green which was the next station along, he might just make it to Wimbledon before Anna and intercept her. Realising he had forgotten his jacket, it didn't matter. He had to get to that station before Anna, he needed to.

**************************  
>She opened up her compact. What a state. How had she let a man be the cause of her tears once again? Her father had always told Anna the one man who was worth her tears would never make her cry. Well she thought she had finally found that man in John. Maybe she had overreacted, she didn't know. All she knew was when John was leaning in for the kiss, all she could think was that it didn't feel right, he was only doing it because everyone was telling him to. And that wasn't the reason why Anna wanted John to kiss her. She wanted him to kiss her because it felt natural, because a moment they had shared had lead to them wanting to engage in the most sweetest of acts.<p>

Stepping off the train at Wimbledon, wishing she had walked to Fulham Broadway instead of hailing a taxi which meant she was stuck in traffic for twenty minutes, Anna tried to focus on the next few days she would be spending with Gwen. The fashion house had closed for the Christmas break and wouldn't open until the new year. Time with her best friend, that was what Anna needed.

As she walked towards the barriers, Anna reached into her pocket for her Oyster card. She couldn't have been prepared for what was about to happen once she passed through them. She looked up to see John leaning against the wall looking completely distraught. Anna's pulse was thundering in her ears, had he really chased her all the way here? And why? She moved away from the barriers.

'John?' She called. Her voice echoed. They were the only people on the station concourse. He turned his head and stood up straighter. His expression was unreadable, Anna didn't know what to do, what to say.

He began to close the gap between them, his pace slow at first but quickening the closer he got to her. Anna felt like she was watching this moment from outside her body, sensing what was to come. The intensity of the atmosphere between them was overwhelming her, she didn't know what else to do but wait and see what John did. She soon got her answer.

His lips were on hers with such a passionate force it caused her to move backwards a few steps, pushing her into the wall. She could do nothing but succumb to his advances. His lips were moving against hers with a practiced perfection, John kissing her in only a way an experienced man like him could. She willingly allowed him to deepen the kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders for fear of floating away with the pure pleasure of finally sharing a kiss with him. His hands were possessive on her waist, gripping tightly to her hips and pulling her as tightly to him as he possibly could. Anna had never felt desire like it, never felt sensations like those flooding her body right now. But soon, the need for air became too much and the moment was ending. John brushed his lips against Anna's one last time, the sound of his harsh breathing harmonising with her gasps for air.

Anna had never heard John's voice sound the way it did as he spoke, so full of raw passion and emotion. 'If I had it my way, I'd be able to kiss you whenever I wanted, hold you whenever I wanted, be with you whenever I wanted. I wanted to kiss you earlier, not because other people were telling me to, but because it is all I have wanted to do from the first moment I ever saw you. This feels right to me Anna.'

Anna couldn't help it, tears were escaping her eyes. To hear John say those words, it was all she had ever wanted. To now know he wanted her as much as she wanted him. And it felt wonderful.

'All I know is I want you to kiss me like that every single time.'

'God knows Anna, I want to be given the chance to try to.'

'We'll take things slowly though, yeah?' Anna stroked his cheek, he leant into her touch. the skin of his face felt heavenly beneath her trembling fingertips. One thought was racing through her mind, she had had to voice her fears, praying john understood. 'I don't want to screw this up.'

'As slowly as you want,' John agreed, much to her relief before resting his forehead against Anna's. 'But please let me walk you home.'

'I'd like that.'

**It finally happened- yay!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N thanks for all the reviews, you guys are amazing. **

**I'm finding the chapters are coming in twos at the moment, so another should probably follow before the weekend is through, if I find the time to proof read it :) **

**Downton** **still isn't mine...**

* * *

><p>Happiness. John had found it to be something that happened to other people, particularly over the past few years. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had could say he was truly happy. Perhaps it was, strangely, an evening spent in the company of his comrades on his last deployment in Iraq. When no one was on operation, simply in the communal areas on camp, relaxing with men he had come to regard as brothers. However, something recently had John feeling like he could be happy again. After everything, life could be good again.<p>

Anna.

Since that kiss, John had barely slept. He didn't want to forget one second of that night at the station, fearing slumber might hinder his memory of what was the most perfect few minutes of his life. It had been that affirming for him. As if a missing piece within him had been found. He realised after saying goodbye to Anna that evening, he would give anything to relive it, holding her in his arms, trying to convey all he felt in one action.

It was now Christmas Day, and John hadn't seen Anna since that night. She had begun her 'girls only' Christmas with Gwen the day after and John headed to his mother's to stay like he had done every Christmas since his divorce. It wasn't easy, only cementing further to John how much Anna had become to him. In a way, in frightened him. How in such a short space of time Anna had completely turned his life around.

'What are you brooding about this time, my boy?' John was shaken from his reverie by his mother's Irish tones which had always been enough to bring him back to the present. 'The Queen is going to be on in a minute, you best be standing to attention for Her Majesty.'

John smirked. His mother always innocently turned a phrase without really considering how it might be interpreted. Maybe he had a one track mind, though.

'Yes mam,' he replied softly, regarding her through a half lidded gaze. How he adored the woman sitting before him. Always the one to tell him how it was, always the one to bring him back from the brink. He was sure when she envisaged having children, like most young women do, how John turned out wouldn't have been her shining image. But she loved him, her Johnny. And God, how much he loved her. John couldn't put it into words.

John's message alert tone made his mother jump, he still finding it amusing four days into his staying with her that she still hadn't got used to the noise.

'Jesus John, you're going to give me a heart attack with that thing one of these days,' she said as she put a hand to her chest. 'Honestly, you young'uns and these modern contraptions.'

He leant forward to pick up his phone. 'Firstly, I'm the wrong side of forty now mum so hardly young and secondly, the mobile phone has been around for over half of my life. Hardly modern.'

Anna's name was the first thing he noticed on the screen. John couldn't help but smile. They hadn't text each other that day, it was lovely to see her name. Opening the message, his eyes became wider and a grin lit up his features as a photo flashed up on screen, of Anna wearing a paper crown and the most hideous Christmas jumper John had ever seen. Underneath were the words, _'Merry Christmas, missing you x'_

Clenching his jaw, John had to admit he felt the same. Suddenly, an unusual feeling washed over him. He had to hear Anna's voice. Seeing her picture, knowing she was somewhere else in the world living through this day like he was, he just had to speak to her.

'I'm just going to make a call, Ma.'

'Sit down,' John's mother barked before he had even risen to his feet. 'The only people you call on Christmas Day are your family. And seeing as I am that, you aren't calling anyone, especially to interrupt them when they are with their own family.'

'I'll be five minutes, that's all,' John said in response, this time standing up and walking towards the door. 'I'll be back before the Queen comes on.'

'Make sure you are, and bring me a mince pie on your way back in.'

Reaching the kitchen, John shut the door before finding Anna's number on his phone. He took a breath before hitting the call button, then rested the phone between his ear and shoulder as he went about preparing his mother a mince pie. It seemed to take an eternity for Anna to answer, John completing his task of placing a mince pie on a plate before he heard her voice.

'Hello you.'

Her voice was like a music, a jolt to his heart.

'Hello,' he replied, turning to look out of the kitchen window and regard his mother's garden as he spoke, his tone teasing. 'I liked the picture very much, and your choice of knitwear.'

'Oh don't,' Anna exclaimed, John could almost see her covering her eyes with her hand over the phone line. 'Me and Gwen both bought each other hideous jumpers to wear today. I thought I'd outdone her, but obviously not.'

'You look adorable,' John tried to reassure her, 'but you aren't actually leaving the house like that, right?'

' Ha Ha! Says the man who performed ABBA wearing Reindeer antlers.'

'I'll have you know those antlers earned me an extra twenty quid,' John rebuked, Anna laughing at his response.

He could imagine how she looked right now. Her face beaming, her eyes dancing. And suddenly he was melancholy. How he longed to feel her fingers wrapped around his, to be able to hold her gaze, to be lucky enough to kiss her again. And again. Was this what it felt like? To be in love with somebody?

'I miss you.'

'I miss you too, but we are seeing each other tomorrow night.'

'Dinner on the South Bank,' John said with a smile. 'I can hardly wait.'

'Gwen is calling me, I've got to go.'

'Of course you have, sorry for interrupting your day, I just wanted to say hi.'

'I'm very glad you did. Until tomorrow.'

'Until tomorrow. Goodbye Anna.'

John was silent as he walked back into the living room, handing his mother her mince pie before settling back in his armchair. His mind was filled with thoughts of Anna, he was finding out he thought about little else.

'That girl has got you hook, line and sinker, hasn't she my boy?'

And then some, John thought to himself.

******************************  
>Anna almost floated back to join Gwen in the living room, unable to keep the smile from her face. Settling back onto her end of the sofa, she had taken a sip of her wine without even looking at her friend. She couldn't avoid it any longer, however. Looking up, she saw she was holding Gwen's undivided attention.<p>

She decided to be coy. 'What?'

'Who was that on the phone?'

'Someone,' Anna shrugged. 'Wishing me a Merry Christmas.'

Gwen's eyebrow was arched, never a good sign. 'Anna May Smith, I know you.'

And that she did, that was the annoying thing, ever since they met in the common room at the South Bank University and realised they shared the same accent. Gwen Dawson simply got her. A better friend she had never known. Anna knew she was going to have to relent, to some degree at least. Sighing deeply, Anna put the TV on mute and sat forward a little.

'You can't tell anyone, not even Daisy or Ethel. Not yet.'

'Ooh, juicy,' Gwen put her wine glass down, Anna knew she had piqued her friends interest when she put her alcohol down. 'I promise.'

'Only Mary knows, and that's because by some cruel way of fate she knows the guy.'

'Okay, I'll try not to be too upset your snobby other friend knew before me.'

'Gwen,' Anna's tone was impatient, her friendship with the eldest Crawley daughter had never been welcomed by Gwen.

Mary had been good to Anna at university, yet she had never really got to know Gwen and the others. Their paths had never really crossed if all was told, Anna and Mary enrolled in the same course whilst Gwen, Ethel and Daisy all took completely different ones. The only common factor between Anna and the three of them were their Yorkshire roots.

Thinking about how she was going to explain all that happened in the past few weeks, Anna felt a warm comforting sensation wash over her, imagining all the times she had spent with John, the way he looked at her, his tone of voice when he addressed her, how his skin felt against hers when they held hands, his lips sending her to places she had never been.

'I used to pass this busker every day at Waterloo. There was something about him, he had me captivated. Whenever I would walk past, we would make eye contact and I'd have to stay and listen to him finish, then leave him some money. This went on for months until...'

'Woah...' Gwen interrupted trying to get her head around it all. 'This went on for months and you never told me?'

'There was nothing to tell,' Anna shrugged, 'he was a busker, I was one of the many commuters that passed him by until one evening we went clubbing, and he was the bouncer on the door.'

'Oh my God, the cute one outside Sugar and Spice?' Gwen squealed, Anna grimacing at her friends tone of voice. 'Hair always immaculate, perfect cheek bones, late twenties...'

Anna didn't know who Gwen was describing, but it certainly wasn't John. She had to admit she quite liked the way his hair was always unkempt, it was one of her favourite things about him. But that was the club he worked at.

'No, the other one.'

'Oh Anna,' Gwen groaned. 'The old dude. Looks like he needs a shave more often than not.'

Gwen had never been a fan of stubble. But this description did sound more like John, and Anna felt like she needed to defend him.

'Firstly, he's only in his early forties and secondly, I like a man with the rough and ready look.'

'Obviously,' Gwen raised her eyebrows before a smile spread across her lips. 'So how does he know Princess Mary?'

'Gwen!' Anna threw a cushion in her direction, knocking her friends sideways a little before the same cushion was flying back in Anna's direction, hitting her wine glass clean off the coffee table. 'Nice job.'

'Ahh, it's only white wine,' Gwen replied indifferently. 'Answer my question.'

'He was in the army with Mary's Dad, they are best friends.'

'That's cute,' Gwen said before her gaze narrowed. 'Is it serious between the two of you?'

Anna considered Gwen's question for a moment. She and John had finally shared their first kiss, a moment that would live with Anna for the rest of her time on earth. Never had a kiss meant more, had such an effect on her. John made her feel so many things, sensations that were mot explainable by mere words. Had she ever been able to say that about any other man? The answer was a plain and simple no.

'I hope so,' Anna answered. 'I really do.'

'Well, I'm pleased for you sweetheart.' Gwen reached across the sofa and took hold of Anna's hand. 'After all you've been through, you deserve a man who is going to take care of you.'

'Thanks,' Anna whispered, her voice breaking slightly as the enormity of what Gwen said to her hit home. In that moment, she knew it was John whom she wanted to take care of her, for him to be that man. The one.

******************  
>John clapped his hands together once, then twice. Looking to his left, he noticed a crowd walking towards him, laughing and joking, obviously enjoying the festivities very much. Hoping Anna might have been walking behind them, he was disappointed when they passed to leave the pavement behind them deserted. He wished they had arranged to meet at Wimbledon station then travelled back into central London together, but Anna had convinced him there was no point in him coming out of London to go back again, especially when he lived five minutes walk from the South Bank.<p>

Chancing a look into the restaurant behind him, he noticed it was quite busy. John hated eating in busy restaurants, particularly with Anna. Wanting to know everything about her and knowing he still had a lot to learn, the hum of the other chatting diners often meant intimate conversation just wasn't possible. But, Anna loved this place and John didn't have the heart to deny her a meal in her favourite establishment. He didn't have the heart to deny her anything.

'There he is. My favourite guitar playing reindeer.'

He had never turned around so quickly in his life. That voice. Those soft northern tones. John would never get enough of them. He smiled as he took in her appearance, she looked gorgeous as usual. How could she look anything but? He noticed something different about Anna's hair, furrowing his brow as he approached her.

'You've changed your hair.'

Anna rolled her eyes and smirked, causing something to tug at his heart. 'I was trying out the curling irons that Gwen bought me for Christmas. What do you think?'

He could only reciprocate her smirk at hearing her asking what he thought about how she looked, lifting his hand to take a strand of the soft curls in his hand. 'I think I'd like to kiss you right this second. If that would be agreeable with you, Miss Smith?'

'It certainly would, Mr Bates.'

He loved the way she said his surname, her drawing out the syllable sweeter than any symphony or in John's case, guitar solo. Moving his hand to her cheek, John's breath caught at the sight of Anna closing her eyes, waiting for him to kiss her. He gently pulled her closer to him, suddenly aware of their surroundings he decided it was probably not best to kiss her in the same way he had done at the station. He placed a soft kiss on her lips, resting there for a few seconds before the need to deepen the kiss became too much and he diverted to her cheek. He lingered their for a few torturous moments then his breathing grew deeper upon hearing her soft gasps caressing his ear. If they had this effect on each other with a simple chaste kiss, heaven help them when they finally decided to take things further.

'No Mr Bates,' Anna's beautiful whisper broke the silence between them, yet they remained in the same position, John finding it almost physically impossible to move. 'That just won't do.'

Before he had a chance to come back down to earth, John found himself being dragged down the small alley beside the restaurant. The feeling of the brick wall hitting his back should have hurt, but the only thing he could feel were Anna's lips against his, soft yet so demanding. Her hands were running through the hair at the base of his neck, and it felt absolutely divine. John's own hands found Anna's hips. He ran his tongue lightly along her bottom lip and felt Anna's mouth open almost simultaneously. How had they managed to wait this long to share kisses like this? John was already acknowledging he needed to kiss Anna like this almost as much as he needed the air that he breathed. And this was only the second time.

'Is that better?' John breathed once Anna had pulled away. He could see her eyes were closed and it made him want to kiss her again and again. How could someone look just as beautiful with their eyes closed as they did when they were open?

'Much,' she managed to respond, her hands still grasping on to the skin where his hair met his neck. John never knew that part of his body affected him so much, that was until Anna touched him there. A few more moments passed until Anna spoke again, she seemingly having regained more of her senses now. 'You know, I don't fancy a sit down meal. I remember seeing the fish and chip kiosk a little way along was open today.'

'Fish and chips, are you sure?' John was confused, Anna had requested they visit this restaurant. They walked back down the alley towards the main path before John questioned her further, 'I thought you wanted to eat here.'

'I do like it here,' Anna agreed before wrapping her fingers around John's. 'But I much rather spend the evening walking by your side, holding your hand. And I'm not sure sitting down in a busy restaurant will give us much scope to do that.'

He couldn't help the smile that erupted on his face. 'Fish and chips sounds like a perfect idea.'

****************************  
>The fish and chips had been a master stroke, even if Anna did say so herself. They ate their dinner on a bench just beside the OXO tower, laughing and joking as often they did when they were together. Although initially feeling bad at leaving Gwen for the evening, Anna couldn't continue feeling that way once in John's company. Gwen understood after all Anna had been through the past few years, she owed it herself to pursue this, something that felt so right and natural, something Anna thought at one point she would never feel again.<p>

After finishing their dinner, they just walked. This time, further into central London. Over Westminster Bridge, towards Trafalgar Square and up into Leicester Square. Before they knew where they were, John was manoeuvring them onto Regents Street. Both decided it was much to busy to negotiate, particularly on Boxing Day so they made a mutual decision to head back to the South Bank, and the station. They were both thinking of those waiting for them at home, Anna supposed. She knew John had left his mother to come out tonight.

What Anna hadn't been expecting was to experience one of the most romantic moments of her life, in the shadow of the London Eye. As they passed a busker on the stretch opposite the Houses of Parliament, John stopped Anna. She looked up at him with a quizzical eye. He was smirking before nodding towards the busker. She looked, then properly listened to what he was playing. He wasn't singing. Just playing the melody. She realised what it was after a few moments when John's cultured ear had probably recognised it after a second.

'That's Weller, isn't it?'

John nodded, and then it happened. He stood back a few paces, away from the crowd passing by towards the wall, the Thames flowing by below. Then he held his hand out to Anna. She wasn't really sure what he was asking, until he voiced his intentions.

'May I have this dance?'

'Here?'

'What?' John shrugged before looking to the sky. 'The stars are out,' he pointed at the gentleman on his guitar, 'we have the music,' he narrowed his gaze on Anna, 'I have the beautiful girl. It is a perfect night for a dance, wouldn't you say?'

All Anna could manage to do was nod her agreement, the moment completely taking her breath away. John put a possessive hand on her hip, grasping her other hand in his. Then they were moving, slowly, gently. She found herself resting her head against John's shoulder. Then as if this moment couldn't be any more perfect, she heard the most beautiful sound her ears had ever been given the chance to hear. John was singing.

'_You do something to me, somewhere deep inside_...'

She couldn't help the shaky breath that escaped her. She also couldn't help the tear that trickled down her cheek. It was such a perfectly overwhelming moment and one which Anna never thought would happen for her. She was lost. She felt like time had stopped, the world had stilled. The only sound she could hear was the gentle ticking of her heart and the sound of John as he sang the lyrics to a song which Anna had never really acknowledged until that evening a few weeks ago.

Saying goodbye that night was the hardest yet. John was working every night until after new year because he had Christmas off, so the next time they would see each other would be after New Years Eve. That was until, under the clock at Waterloo, John struck upon the idea of Anna bringing her friends to the club. He got an hours break, Anna didn't need to be asked twice to spend it with him.

'Until New Years Eve,' John murmured after kissing Anna goodnight. 'Take care, Anna. And text me when you get home.'

'I will,' Anna promised, taking a couple of steps away, their hands almost entwined.

'Oh, I nearly forgot,' John announced, patting the breast of his jacket. Letting go of Anna's hand, John unzipped his jacket and reached inside to reveal a brown paper bag. He handed it to Anna. 'Merry Christmas.'

'Oh John,' Anna took the bag from him, 'I didn't know we were exchanging gifts.'

'Being with you this evening was gift enough,' John replied, Anna reaching up on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. He took hold of her hand again. 'Besides it isn't much and it's partly hand made. Now get going, or you'll miss your train.' Their gaze met, and John lifted Anna's hand to his lips, placing a kiss on her knuckles. 'Don't forget that text.'

Anna dodged her way through the crowds to her platform, once on the train relieved to see there were plenty of spare seats. After she had got herself comfortable, Anna set about revealing what was in the bag. Reaching inside it, she smiled as she revealed a stuffed Reindeer. Turning it around, it was all she could do not to howl with laughter as she saw John had attached a small guitar to the reindeer's hooves, making it look like he was playing the instrument. Anna stroked the top of the toys head, this was the first gift John had ever given her. Apart from the rose of course. She opened up her phone.

'_Thank you for my Reindeer, he's gorgeous_.'

Settling into her seat, still clutching on to the reindeer the sound of her message tone made Anna jump six feet in the air, she hadn't been expecting such a quick reply. Looking at her phone, she saw a message which simply read,

'_Like someone else I could mention. xxx_'


	9. Chapter 9

**A**/**N this chapter is a little longer as their relationship shifts a lot in this chapter. **

**Thanks for all the reviews and follows. :) **

**I still don't own Downton. **

* * *

><p>Anna had never willed a week to pass by as quickly as she had done the previous one. Texts and phone calls simply weren't enough. Her Boxing Day evening with John had imprinted a thousand memories in her mind, yet they were small consolation to having him physically by her side, whispering to her in that tone that only John could.<p>

But time apart had also given Anna time to contemplate how she was really feeling. Missing someone this much was something she had never experienced. Not even in her previous relationships. She looked into the future and it looked bleak without John in it. Letting someone this close to her again, it was unsettling but Anna wasn't sure she could do anything to prevent it. She was powerless.

Now here she was, only minutes from seeing him again and it seemed like her friends were taking ages to get ready. Daisy and Ethel were oblivious, yet Gwen knew the real reason as to Anna's anxiety. The other two had told her to relax, it was only nine o clock and clubs never got going until eleven, especially on New Years Eve.

Storming into Gwen's kitchen in a huff, Anna stood by the window and stared out into the darkness. It was like an illness, what she was feeling. Anna just couldn't stop thinking about him. She wasn't sure she wanted to.

'You know how long those two take to get ready so why are you so agitated?' Anna turned to see Gwen standing in the doorway, her arms folded and regarding Anna with a raised eyebrow. 'What's going on?

She didn't answer for a moment, because in truth she was scared to answer the question. Anna knew full well what was going on, and after everything, what she was coming to realise in her mind was too frightening to contemplate. But she was going to have to, she couldn't deny it. She met Gwen's gaze, her friend was looking at her expectantly, waiting for a response to her question.

'Oh Gwen,' Anna murmured, sitting down at the table before resting her head in her hands.

Gwen closed the kitchen door behind her and took a few steps towards the table. 'You're in deep, aren't you?'

'What makes you say that?' Anna didn't lift her head to address her friend, remaining in the same position at the table.

'Well, after he called on Christmas Day you said you hoped he was finally the one, the one to take care of you. That was a pretty big clue.'

'I'm scared, Gwen. I never expected to feel this strongly again, especially after...' Her voice drifted away, Gwen understanding exactly what Anna was referring to.

'Are you in love with him?'

'No,' Anna answered without missing a beat, although her voice was hardly convincing. Gwen's expression told Anna that her friend didn't exactly believe her. 'I don't know, maybe. All I know is I can't get him out of my head, it's like I'm obsessed. Whenever I'm not with him, I want to be with him. When we are together it is as if we are the only two people in existence. And to admit that out loud frightens me to death.'

'Does John know what happened?'

'Definitely not,' Anna replied, lifting her head to look at Gwen. 'Does he need to know?'

'Well yeah,' Gwen answered with a sympathetic smile on her face, reaching across the table to rest a hand on top of Anna's. 'Especially if you feel like this is going somewhere. It will affect some aspects of the relationship, no question.'

'I'm not sure I can relive it all again, though.'

The kitchen door burst open, Ethel and Daisy appearing and seemingly ready to finally leave the flat. They both noticed Anna's demeanour and both raced straight towards her.

'Are you alright, Anna?' Daisy asked, wrapping an arm around her friends shoulders.

'Are you really this upset we didn't get ready quicker?' Ethel asked with a furrowed brow.

'No Ethel, believe it or not not everything is about you,' Gwen pointed out, standing up. 'Let's just go and have a nice New Years Eve and take it one moment at time,' she deliberately focussed her gaze on Anna, 'shall we?'

Nodding her head, Anna squeezed Daisy's hand before standing up. One moment at a time.

******************************  
>It really was busy tonight. John hated working New Years Eve, but at least he was on with Alfred and not Thomas, he supposed. People saw 'Sugar and Spice' as somewhere to end their night out, so most of the people passing by this evening were already heavily intoxicated. John didn't mind that, it was natural for people to let go on tonight of all nights. He found some of the revellers to be quite amusing, especially one chap who was trying so hard to impress a girl he wasn't looking where he was going, tripped and John had to catch him before he head butted the wall.<p>

As the night drew on, John began to pay more attention to see if Anna was on her way. She had text to say they wouldn't be there much before eleven. The crowds trying to enter the club were thinning now, most people leaving to head over to Big Ben to see in the New Year. It was Alfred who spotted Anna and her group first.

'Here we go, Skipper.' That was Alfred's nickname for John, John still having no idea to this day why. 'Four very pleasant young ladies heading this way.'

John only had eyes for one of the young ladies, her blonde hair shimmering in the moonlight, her smile wide as she chatted to her friends. Then she turned to look in John's direction and suddenly all the hairs were standing up on the back of his neck. Anna looked breathtaking, John couldn't take his eyes off her as the girls moved closer to the club. God, how he had missed her.

'Evening ladies,' Alfred said cheerfully, or so John thought. He was only really paying attention to Anna.

'Hello,' she mouthed to him as Gwen, Ethel and Daisy chatted to Alfred.

'Hello,' he mouthed back before looking her up and down. She looked absolutely stunning. He met her gaze again and simply breathed, 'wow.'

'Have a good evening, ladies,' John said a little louder now as Alfred allowed them into the club.

Trying to garner Anna's attention as she followed her friends, John held out his hand in front of her, holding a small note which he had retrieved from his pocket. Anna grasped his hand out of sight of the others, taking the note from him. Their eyes met, and it took all the power John could summon not to kiss her there and then.

'See you later?' He whispered, smiling.

'Later,' Anna confirmed, reciprocating his smile. She carried on into the club, leaving John and Alfred alone once more.

'Now they were absolutely gorgeous,' Alfred exclaimed, looking over his shoulder as the girls disappeared into the club. 'A little too young for you though eh, skipper?'

'I wouldn't say that,' John replied, also looking over his shoulder. He could see Anna reading his note and quickly turned around again before she finished. He only hoped she would agree to his suggestion.

*****************************  
>The club was heaving. Anna and her friends could barely find any space on the dance floor, let alone somewhere to sit. Ethel was a woman on a mission, however. She never went in a club without finding a table, and much to Anna's amazement she was now talking a group of five men dressed as gangsters into giving up their table for Ethel and her mates. Up the five men stood, and away they walked, leaving the table free.<p>

'You legend,' Daisy exclaimed, offering Ethel a high five.

'Yeah, talking people who had the table fair and square into moving, nice job,' Gwen rolled her eyes. 'Anna and me will go and get some drinks, Vodka and Coke all round?'

Suddenly remembering the note in her hand, Anna followed a few steps behind her friend as she read what John had written.

'_Anna, I hope I am not being too forward in asking this, but would you come back to mine after the club? I'm not expecting anything to happen, please believe me. I just want to spend some time with you. I haven't seen you all week and I've missed you. John x '_

'What are you reading?'

Anna looked up to see she had Gwen's attention. 'It's a note from John.'

'Aww, that's so sweet,' Gwen smiled as they reached the bar. 'Saying...'

'He wants me to go back to his.'

'Wow, he's not backwards in coming forwards, is he?'

'We have been seeing each other properly for over a month,' Anna pointed out in John's defence, 'he's saying he doesn't expect anything, he just wants to spend some time with me. I know he wouldn't force me to do anything.'

'Too right he wouldn't, or he'd have me to answer to.' Anna smiled at her friend's words, knowing all too well that she meant them. 'It's up to you, chick but I think you should. You say you're scared about feeling this way but all I know is the past few days, watching you, it's obvious you're really taken with him.'

'What'll it be ladies?'

The barman had grabbed Gwen's attention as Anna thought about what she had just said. Going to John's flat would be a big step for them, but it was a step Anna would be willing to take. She trusted him, Anna knew John would never put her in a position where she would have to do something she didn't want to do. And spending some time alone with John after days apart was just what Anna needed. It was what she wanted.

'I said Anna, have you got a fiver?' The music had seemingly got louder with the change of track, and Gwen was now having to really shout to be heard above all the noise. Anna nodded, opening her bag and passing Gwen the money she required. 'By the way, I think your man is trying to get your attention.' Gwen was pointing towards the entrance to the club, Anna looking over to see John waving. 'Go and speak to him, but don't be too long. Me and you have a date with that dance floor.'

As Gwen headed back to the table with a tray of drinks, Anna made her way through the crowd to John who was standing in a small alcove just inside the club. He was beaming as she approached him, Anna unable to do anything but smile as well.

'I've only got a second,' he began, pulling her into the alcove with him. 'My break starts at ten to midnight. The boss is only letting us have twenty minutes because it's so busy but he's giving us double time after midnight so it's not all bad.'

'I've missed you,' Anna whispered, reaching out and straightening John's tie, the knot showing just above his coat.

He lifted his hand and stroked the side of her face softly with the backs of his fingers. Anna felt a shiver run down her spine, letting out a gasp at the contact. John's voice was laced with emotion as he spoke. 'I've missed you too. You'll spend my break with me, won't you?'

'Of course I will.'

'Your friends won't miss you?'

'Daisy and Ethel will probably be snogging the faces off of compete strangers by then, they'll be too far gone to notice I'm missing, and Gwen knows. She'll understand.'

'I'll meet you here and thank you.' John's fingers were wrapped around Anna's hand now, caressing and warming the skin there with every stroke. 'And what about after?' Anna hesitated before answering. 'I mean it when I say I expect nothing. I just want to be with you.'

She found herself nodding in the next moment. 'Alright, I'd love to.'

'See you later.'

He winked at her then, and for the briefest of seconds Anna forgot how to breathe. She stood motionless as he stepped out of the alcove, then gestured for her to go and rejoin her friends. Not knowing how she was putting one foot in front of the other after such a gesture from John, Anna soon found herself in the company of her friends once more. Before she had a chance to sit down however, Daisy was up out of her seat and dragging Anna to the middle of the dance floor. Her protests were unable to be heard as one of the group of friend's favourite songs began to fill the room. Once Daisy had chosen a suitable spot for them, Anna looked up, and was surprised to see John watching from the top of the stairs that lead to the floor, leaning on the railing. What surprised her even more was when John sang along with the first line to the song, his eyes focused solely on Anna as he sang.

_'Turn the lights off in this place, and she shines just like a star_...'

'He must know every song in existence,' Anna thought to herself, before feeling Daisy grab hold of her hand. When she looked back, John had gone. It couldn't be ten to midnight a moment too soon.

Taking Anna by the hand once she had reached the alcove, John lead her outside without a word. The street outside the club was almost deserted and Alfred had made his way to the bar to the ring in the new year with the staff there. He took Anna to a small walkway beside the venue which lead to the staff entrance. A flickering street lamp was the only illumination as John finally stopped and turned to regard Anna.

'Alone at last,' he murmured, still holding Anna's hand in his. He could make out her blush in the dim moonlight and it only set his heart racing quicker than it already was being in her company once again. 'Have you had a nice evening?'

'Well, Gwen has been bickering with Ethel, still holding a grudge because Ethel sat on and bent her nail file.' John laughed as he saw Anna roll her eyes, able to see her blue irises sparkling in the soft light. He loved how her eyes were so full of life, able to convey whatever she was feeling at any given moment. 'And Daisy has been moaning about work and has promised if she isn't an assistant head chef by Easter, she's leaving the food industry and pursuing her dream of becoming an actress. Or a make up artist. Or whatever she wants to be depending on what day of the week it is.'

'They all sound like characters,' John remarked, looking down to where his and Anna's fingers were still entwined. The way their hands fit together made him more convinced by the day they were made for each other. 'Do they know about us?'

'Gwen does, I said that earlier,' Anna replied, following John's line of vision. Knowing she was looking too, he squeezed her hand a little tighter, delighting in the little smile it elicited upon her lips. 'But I haven't told Daisy and Ethel yet. They'd interfere worse than Mary does.' He chuckled at that, but evidently hadn't expected what she said next, looking up to meet her gaze. 'Is there an us, then?'

Had he jumped the gun? The last thing John wanted to do was scare Anna or say the wrong thing, but from his perspective they had been dating for a few weeks now, and as far as he was concerned, they were well on there way to becoming a couple. He suddenly felt panicked.

'Well, err,' he stuttered, suddenly finding Anna's shoes very interesting as he looked to the ground. 'I just thought...'

'John, it's alright.' She rested a finger from the hand that wasn't holding his under his chin, and lifted his head so she could look at him. He met her gaze reluctantly. 'We just haven't spoken about where we are, in terms of our relationship yet.'

'Well, I'd like to be able to introduce you to people as my girlfriend.' _Bloody hell_, he thought to himself as the words left his mouth. _I've gone for that._ He backtracked. 'If that's alright with you.' It seemed to take hours for Anna to display her reaction, let alone respond to what John had just said. When her lips upturned into a smile, relief flowed through his veins.

'That's alright with me,' Anna nodded, moving her hand from his chin to rest on John's cheek. 'More than alright.'

Just as he was about to lean in for a kiss, the loud sound of someone inside talking on the microphone reminded John of what he had in his pocket. Letting go of Anna's hand, he put his hand inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a sprig of mistletoe. Anna laughed upon seeing it, John moving it so he held it above them.

'I never did get my kiss under the mistletoe,' he said with a raise of his eyebrows.

'Get ready to countdown.'

There was the voice inside again, making John jump. 'Bloody hell, I'm not sure Colin needs a microphone, he talks so loudly anyway.'

The owner of the club was now leading the countdown inside, which could be heard loud and clear by John and Anna standing outside. He was still holding the mistletoe above them, but now his free hand had found its resting place upon Anna's hip. Her arms were wrapped around John's shoulders, bringing them so their lips were only a couple of inches apart. Colin's muffled voice could be heard again.

'Here we go everybody... Ten...'

'Nine,' John continued, his eyes locked on Anna's as she gasped the next number. They seemed to make an unsaid agreement to alternate the countdown to one.

'Eight.'

'Seven,' John carried on, surprised he could actually process what number was next with Anna is such close proximity, staring at him with a perfect darkness in her gaze.

'Six,' she said next.

'Five.'

'Four.'

'Three.' His arm was really aching from holding he mistletoe above them, now.

'Two.'

'One.'

'Happy New Year, John.' He could hear her whisper perfectly over all the cheering emanating from inside, everything else seemingly evaporating the more John became lost in Anna's eyes.

'Happy New Year, Anna.'

Their lips came crashing together almost as soon as the last syllable of her name had left him. He couldn't concentrate on keeping the mistletoe above them, not with the manner in which Anna was kissing him right now. She must have read his mind, one of her own arms leaving his shoulder to reach up and pull his hand down from its position above them to rest on her other hip. The passion rushing through him resulted in John gently pushing Anna against the wall behind them, a week of pent up emotion being released as their kiss deepened. She pulled away all too soon, John not wanting to lose contact straight away and brushing her lips lightly once, then twice before letting her pull away completely.

'That was amazing,' she breathed with just the right lilt to her tone, her hands finding that sensitive spot on John's neck he was never aware he had until Anna had discovered it. 'My boyfriend.'

They both giggled at that, John resting his head on Anna's shoulder for a moment. A thought came into his mind, something he had wanted to say to her, the moment to say it never seeming as perfect as it did now. He moved his head so he could whisper in her ear, his hands still clutching on to her waist as he spoke.

'This will be your year, Anna. From this moment, your happiness will be the most important thing to me. I mean it.'

The next thing he felt was a kiss on his cheek, before her hand turned his head so she could kiss him fully. It wasn't as passionate as the one they had shared only seconds previously, but it was enough to convince John for the first time that for some reason, this flawless woman might just feel the same way as he did.

'I should be getting back to my friends.' Anna's words were like a dagger to John's heart, but he knew she was right. He'd be required on the door again in a few minutes. How he could go back to work after sharing something like this with Anna was beyond him.

'Of course,' he agreed weakly, releasing his hold on her. 'I won't be finished until half one. I'll meet you at the entrance then?'

'Daisy and Ethel will probably want to move on by then but I'll make an excuse to stay.'

'Alright, as long as you are sure it isn't too much trouble.'

She shook her head. 'Nothing's too much trouble for you.'

John couldn't help but grin at her words. He took her hand and lead her back down the pathway. Stopping just short of the pavement, he looked to make sure the coast was clear before stepping aside and allowing Anna to walk on ahead. She looked back over her shoulder at him, offering him a little wave before she was gone again.

_Wow_, John thought to himself. _Did that really just happen_?

**************************************  
>John's flat was only a five minute walk from the club. Once at his building, it wasn't what Anna had been expecting at all. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting really. It overlooked the river, each individual apartment seeming to have a balcony. It looked expensive. Anna had remembered John mentioning his army pension in the past, and that he had got quite a substantial amount of money when he and his ex wife sold their marital home. But she never believed it was this much.<p>

He lived on the fifth floor, number thirty five. John seemed nervous as he unlocked the door. This was the first time either of them had seen the inside of the other's home. She wouldn't admit it to John, but she was intrigued to see how he lived, a Batchelor on his own. After opening the door, he offered Anna his hand which she gratefully took. Stepping inside, everything was bathed in darkness until John flicked a switch by the door. Anna couldn't stop her jaw from dropping, the place was immaculate.

The kitchen and living room were open plan, on two levels. The kitchen, to her right seemed to have all the mod cons. Granite work tops, a breakfast bar and was very clean, she noted. It had laminate flooring as well, adding to its classy appearance. One step lead down to the carpeted living area. There was a grey corner sofa which was was huge and made the armchair beside it look tiny. Looking around, Anna smiled as she saw music memorabilia adorn the walls, in particular John Lennon who Anna had come to learn was John's idol. She saw his guitar on its stand beside the armchair, there was even a jukebox in the corner of the room. Anna's eyes were drawn to the grand piano that sat by the glass doors that lead to a balcony. John had never mentioned he could play any other instruments before.

'This is the bathroom, ' John said, knocking on a door behind Anna she hadn't even realised was there. He moved to take her coat from her, Anna letting it fall from her arms. 'What do you think of the place?'

'It's incredible,' she gasped before pointing at the piano, 'can you play that?'

'No, I just eat my dinner off it,' John teased with a wink, putting his hands in his pockets before walking to the kitchen. 'I prefer the guitar these days but yes, I can play it. Can I get you anything?'

'No thanks.' Anna was transfixed by everything she was seeing. It was John's space and it amazed her, learning new things about this wonderful man she had met everywhere her eyes darted. 'Can you play any other instruments?'

Not answering her question with words, John walked beyond Anna to the opposite side of the apartment, opening one of two doors. He gestured for Anna to approach him before turning the light on. She looked inside to see a mixing desk, a microphone, the style of which you would find in a recording studio and a drum kit.

'I can play the drums a bit,' he shrugged. 'My Dad was into music big time. He used to work all the clubs back home in Ireland through the fifties and sixties. He even met and worked with The Beatles before they went stratospheric. He taught me.'

'I never knew any of that,' Anna murmured before meeting his gaze. He was regarding her with a smirk, that smirk that made her feel like her knees would buckle from beneath her. 'I love learning new things about you.'

'And I you.' His tone of voice was positively mischievous as he switched off the light and shut the door. She turned her attentions towards the next door along, averting herself from his intense gaze which was threatening to overwhelm her. 'That's my room.'

'Oh,' Anna said, removing her hand from the door handle. Not yet, she thought to herself, turning around to look at him. He still had his hands in his pockets, he had undone his top button and his tie a little. He was still smirking. God, he really was gorgeous.

'Shall we sit?' He suggested, pointing towards the sofa. Anna nodded, slipping off her shoes before stepping from the laminate flooring to the carpet, increasing the height advantage John had over her once more. He had taken his shoes off by the door, she noticed and thought she should do the same. Somewhere between coming in and reaching this point John had dimmed the lights.

'I have to ask, John...'

'You can ask me anything,' he interrupted her, taking a strand of her hair between his thumb and forefinger as they faced each other, leant against the back of the sofa.

'How do you afford a place like this on a busker and bouncers wage?' Anna hoped she wasn't being too cheeky. 'It's beautiful.'

'I've told you about the divorce,' John replied before adding, 'our home sold for half a million. Robert owned a string of properties at the time, he gave me a discount on this place for paying in cash, and well, we'd been through a lot together you know.'

'I can't even begin to imagine,' Anna offered weakly, maintaining eye contact with him. Something in the atmosphere around them had changed. Anna could feel it, especially when John moved a little closer to her.

'You know,' he narrowed his gaze on her. His voice held a flirtatious element to it, one which resulted in Anna feeling long forgotten stirrings at the pit of her stomach. 'This is the first time I have had a girl as beautiful as you back here.'

'I'm not sure that's true.'

He didn't respond to her remark with words, instead choosing to edge just a little closer to her. 'Can I kiss you?'

Anna couldn't explain what was happening to her body as his breath brushed her cheek, all she knew was that she felt like she would die if he didn't. She nodded her consent, and there was the gentle caress of John's lips against hers, the sensation that Anna was coming to realise was her lifeline. It started off innocently enough, but she supposed it was because of their surroundings, it didn't stay that way for long. Anna was in heaven, allowing John to gently push her back against the arm of the sofa. The feel of the weight of his upper body upon hers was delicious. Anna was clutching on to his upper arm as the kiss became more passionate, he felt so firm beneath her fingertips. Just as she was relaxing into the moment, Anna became increasingly aware of where John's hand was heading. It was moving downward from her hip, edging ever closer to the bare skin of her thigh. And suddenly, memories that she thought she had under control were rushing to the surface of her mind. She tried to banish them, tried to tell herself that this was John, she was safe, but in the end, they got the better of her.

'No,' her squeal was muffled as she broke away from the kiss that they were sharing. 'Please let me go.'

'Anna.' John's voice was filled with concern as he relinquished his hold on her immediately. She shot up, moving away from the sofa and up the step towards the balcony doors. She tried to keep the sob that was threatening to escape her under control, but she couldn't. Bringing her hand to her forehead, she clutched her stomach. All she could see was Him. His face. And she felt sick. 'Oh God, I went too far. When I promised I wouldn't.'

'It isn't you,' Anna replied, too vigorously than she would have liked as she turned around. John looked hurt, his expression killing Anna a little inside. She had to reassure him. 'John, it's not you.'

'What's going on, Anna?'

His voice was filled with concern, she hated to make him feel this way. Allowing another sob to leave her, she wasn't going to tell John everything. She knew that. But she needed to tell him something.

'I haven't been with...' She hesitated, moving both her hands to clutch her stomach. 'This is the first time...'

She really didn't know what to say. John slowly rose from his position on the sofa and carefully trod the floor towards her. He held his arms out for her, and Anna gratefully fell into them, breaking down fully once in his embrace.

'Sssh,' he whispered, kissing the top of her head. 'It's alright.'

'I have a past, John.' Anna had controlled her emotions to the point that she could talk again. 'But I can't tell you about it, not yet.'

'It's alright,' John reiterated, pressing her head closer to him. 'You don't have to tell me anything. But I am here to listen, I'm not going anywhere, Anna. I'm here for you.'

They stood in silence for a few moments, John gently rocking Anna in his arms. She had never felt as safe as she did now. He knew there was something now, something she was obviously still trying to deal with.

'Do you want to go home? You don't have to.'

'No.' Anna was sure about that. She wanted to stay with John. It had been awful without him. 'I want to be with you. I'm just not ready for that yet.'

'I understand.'

He released her and walked towards his room. Anna wondered what he was doing until he reappeared with one of his shirts and a towel. 'Why don't you have a shower?'

'That sounds good,' Anna nodded, rubbing her cheeks which were soaked with her tears. 'Clear my head.' She gratefully took the items from him as John continued to wipe her damp cheeks. She watched as John walked into the kitchen. A suggestion popped up in Anna's mind. 'Perhaps we could share a drink when I return, to toast in the new year?'

'Strictly tea and coffee in here I'm afraid,' John replied, clinking the box of tea bags and jar of coffee together. She furrowed her brow before John added with a grin, 'you see, Anna. I have a past too. We have a lot to learn about each other, it would seem.'

Anna allowed a small smile to pass across her lips. 'We do.'

************************  
>Christ. For a few earth shattering seconds John thought he had blown it. When Anna rose to her feet, and wouldn't look at him, he thought that was it. He had never been so frightened in all his life. To lose Anna, even after this short time together, it would be nothing short of catastrophic. Life would hold no meaning, he felt that strongly.<p>

Deep down, John knew Anna was harbouring some sort of secret. He had no right to ask her to reveal it, but now it was obvious he would need to know if their relationship was to develop. However, all that mattered to John now was that Anna knew he expected nothing. That side of the relationship wasn't important right now. All that mattered was where they went from here and that wherever they went was together.

The sound of the bathroom door unlocking was almost deafening. John turned his head to regard Anna. His eyes were riveted to her. He couldn't help it. His shirt stopped half way down her thighs. She looked exquisite. Banishing those thoughts from his mind, he rose from the sofa. He took off his tie as she crossed the room, still rubbing her wet hair with the towel.

'Feeling better?'

'Much,' Anna replied. 'And I'm sorry, John. I thought I was ready for that, but obviously...'

'You don't have to explain, Anna. It's really okay.'

'Yeah, well,' Anna shrugged. 'I don't want this to change anything between us. I want us to carry on in the way in which we have been.'

'And we shall do,' John said softly. He held her gaze for a moment before clearing his throat, looking over his shoulder. 'I was thinking, you can take my bed tonight. I'll sleep in my armchair.'

'Why the chair?' Anna asked. John had wondered if she would ask that or not.

'The sofa gives me a bad back. It came with the flat.'

Anna seemed to accept his explanation. 'Can I not join you in the chair?'

He was confused, looking at her from underneath a creased brow. 'But I thought...'

'I'm not ready to sleep with you, I'm not ready to be that intimate but all I know is I just want to spend the night in your arms. Please.'

John meant it, he couldn't deny this woman anything. Looking behind him at the sofa, he grabbed the throw from the back of it and sat down. He invited Anna to join him. She sat on his lap, swinging her legs around to rest over the edge of the armchair. Once she was settled, John pulled the throw over them before wrapping his arms around Anna, making sure they were above the throw. She rested her head on his shoulder.

'Alright?' He whispered.

'More than alright.'

John remembered it wasn't for the first time that evening those words had left her lips and allowing himself to smile at the memory of asking if he could refer to her as his girlfriend. Whatever John had been expecting Anna to say next, what she actually said wasn't it. It knocked the breath right out of him.

'I know it's not ladylike to say it, but I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be,' she whispered against his neck. 'I think I am falling in love with you.'

Bloody hell. Had sweeter words ever been spoken? However, John was more certain in his own feelings. He had been for a little while. He had just been waiting for Anna to give him a sign, some indication that she might be in the same place as him.

'Anna, I'll be honest. I've already fallen,' he felt her shift in his arms at hearing his words. His tone turned slightly more jovial, his arms tightening around her as he kissed her head. 'Why don't you join me down here? It feels wonderful.'

She was giggling. 'I'm almost there. Be patient with me.'

'Anna, I have all the time in the world for you.'

Silence fell then. They had taken a massive step that evening. Both were now certain in their feelings for the other, where they were in their relationship. John now knew something about Anna's past and in turn, had promised himself he would support her in dealing with her fears. What mattered to him the most was that she was comfortable in his company, and the gentle snores leaving her now went some way to letting him know that she was.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N A shorter chapter here, wanting to update as haven't done for a couple of weeks. Hope you enjoy. **

**Just in response to a review, allow me to get practical for just a moment. Even though he has an amazing flat, John would still need to work due to bills, etc etc. Council tax, water, electric, food shopping, the list goes on. Not sure an army pension would cover this although I will research. Plus he's not one to sit on his behind at home all day, but that might just be me. The reason he's a bouncer? I don't know. I just plucked that occupation out of the air.**

**Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. **

**Disclaimer-** _John and Anna still don't belong to me. Sadly._

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><p>John placed the headphones down on the mixing desk, in the next millisecond he registered the sound of his doorbell. Putting down the sheet of lyrics he was reading, he walked out of the spare room, or studio, at his flat and made his way towards the front door.<p>

'Hello John,' Robert said, walking in without an invitation. He noticed the door to John's studio was open. He began to walk towards the open door. 'Ooh, having a play are we?'

'Don't touch anything,' John called after Robert as he disappeared inside the room. It was too late, in the next moment John heard music fill the air, his version of Amazed by Lonestar to be exact. Running a hand from his brow to through his hair, he appeared looking rather sheepish in the doorway. He looked to see Robert grimacing.

'This is a bit sickly sweet for you, no?'

John shrugged in response. 'A beautiful woman will do that to a man.'

'What are you doing?'

'Making a gift.'

'For Anna?'

John continued on into the room, stopping the music with a click of a switch on the mixing desk. 'Maybe.'

Robert nodded in acknowledgement before looking to the corner of the room. 'Can I have a go on the drum kit?'

'No.'

'Oh please.'

'No Rob.'

'You never let me have a go.' Robert folded his arms.

'Out,' John pointed over his shoulder with his thumb towards the door.

Sulkily, Robert rose to his feet and trudged out of the room, John following after switching off the light and shutting his door to the studio. Robert sunk down in the armchair before John cleared his throat. Exhaling a deep breath, Robert took John's coughing to indicate he wanted him to get out of his chair and slumped himself down on the edge of the sofa. They had been such good friends, best friends, for so long they both knew each other better than they knew themselves.

'Tea?' John asked, striding into the kitchen area and switching on the kettle. Robert made an agreeable noise, John recognising it to be a yes.

'So why are you making Anna a CD?'

'I never confirmed it was for Anna,' John replied, taking two mugs out of the cupboard.

'You said a beautiful woman would do things to man,' Robert countered, looking up to meet John's gaze. 'Unless you are doing the dirty on her, and if you are more fool you. She's gorgeous.'

'Of course I'm not doing the dirty on her, I'm not an idiot.' John noticed Robert's eyebrow raise, 'well not that much of one, anyway. The CD is my valentines gift to her. It was Mary's idea.'

'But Valentines day is in February,' Robert said as he brushed down one of the cushions on the sofa.

'It is February, Rob,' John informed his friend. 'Valentines day is a few days away.'

Robert looked at his watch, before unlocking his phone and reading the date. 'What do you know, it is February.'

John began to chuckle to himself. 'You are something else, mate. Can I presume Cora can be expecting the usual bunch of the petrol station's finest?'

'If she's lucky,' Robert shrugged. 'Anyhow, I thought you spent Valentines day with your Mum? If memory serves that was one of the things that most irritated Vera. Mind you, that woman could find something to irritate her in an empty room.'

'Anna understands. In fact, we are all going out for dinner together.'

John's father had proposed to his mother on Valentines Day, and they had got married on the same day the following year. Since his father had passed, this time of year, in particular that day, had been difficult for John's mother so every year since he had taken his mother out for dinner on that evening. Vera never understood John's reasoning although John had promised to take her out the next evening every year. It was just something he had to do for his mother. They had divorced two years after his father's death, so it was never an issue for long.

'That's a big step, meeting the mother wouldn't you say?'

'Perhaps. But as far as I can see, Anna's in my future. If not now, when?'

Since New Years Eve, John and Anna's relationship had moved up a notch. They saw each other as often as their work allowed, even staying over at each other's homes on occasion. John was coming to realise there was no better feeling in this world than holding a sleeping Anna in his arms. The intimate side of their relationship, or lack of it as the case may be, was never a factor. John meant it when he said he would wait forever for Anna, if that was what it would take. She had revealed small details about her past, John knew she had been in a violent relationship. The thought of a man treating Anna in that way caused John to feel unimaginable anger. How such a precious, beautiful woman could be subject to such abuse at the hands of a man, John just couldn't fathom it.

'Well, I'm pleased for you, mate.' Robert said as he took his tea from John before his friend took his seat in the armchair. 'It's nice to see you happy, after everything.'

'I just don't know how I struck it so lucky,' John shook his head as he spoke, lifting his mug to his lips and taking a sip. 'We saw each other every morning, I thank the Lord every day she came to the club, or I think we'd still be just commuter and busker now.'

'These things happen for a reason. We know that more than most.'

'Hmm,' John hummed his agreement, both men thinking of the same incident from their pasts in that moment. Not only did John still have a lot to learn about Anna, the same could be said for her about him.

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><p>The tube ride over to John's mother's had been in relative silence. Gentle squeezes of Anna's hand from John had resulted in eye contact and nervous smiles exchanged, but other than that it had been quiet between the pair. John knew Anna was anxious, he longed to convince her she had nothing to worry about.<p>

As they stepped onto the street from Chalk Farm station, John pointed out the famous Roundhouse theatre, before leading Anna towards his mother's home. After promising her a trip to London Zoo in the not too distant future, they reached his mother's garden gate. Anna stopped dead, looking up for John's gaze who had also stopped to look back over his shoulder at her.

'It will be fine,' John whispered, letting go of Anna's hand and pulling her into his embrace. He kissed the top of her head, John could feel her relaxing in his arms. 'She's going to love you.'

'Is what I'm wearing okay?' Anna's voice was muffled, her question making him laugh.

'You look gorgeous, as usual.'

'Are you two coming in or not?'

John looked up to see his mother standing in the doorway, hands on her hips. She turned away and made her way back into the house. John nodded in the direction of the door, releasing Anna from his hold. Offering his hand, Anna took it before John lead her down the path. They walked inside, John instantly hearing the kettle boiling. Shutting the door behind them, John admitted to himself he was feeling a little nervous too. He was realising more and more with each moment that passed that it mattered so much to him that his mother and Anna got along, that this was the first time he actually cared that she liked a woman he bought home.

'So you must be Anna.' His mother was walking towards them now, wiping her hand furiously on a tea towel before holding it out for Anna to shake. 'My dear boy has told me so much about you. Never been so excited about a lass in his life.'

'Mum,' John groaned, resting a hand on the small of Anna's back. 'Anna, this is my Mum, Helen Bates. Mum, this is Anna.'

'Nice to meet you, Mrs Bates.'

'Please, it's Helen,' she insisted, shaking Anna's handanyone call me that a day in my life and I'm not about to start now. Do you take sugar, Anna?'

Sitting at the table with Anna, John could feel his heart almost burst as he watched Anna and his mother share a conversation. Anna was her usual charming self, his mother listening attentively as Anna answered the questions every mother would like to ask the woman who had seemingly stolen their son's heart.

'Now, where are we going for dinner?' John asked as all three finished their drinks.

'I'm going nowhere,' Helen said, picking up the three empty mugs on the table before walking over to the sink.

'Mum?' John questioned, furrowing his brow.

'You think I'll sit there like a gooseberry at a restaurant on the most romantic night of the year? Go and have a nice time, the two of you.' Helen placed a hand on John's shoulder, offering him a knowing look. 'Don't worry about me son, I'll be fine. I have a date of my own, with Captain Von Trapp and the DVD player.' Helen placed a hand on her chest then looked at Anna. 'I have a bit of a cough anyway. You don't want me spluttering through your meal.'

'You haven't coughed once all the time we've been here,' John said through a narrowed gaze.

'Just get going. And bring Anna along for Sunday lunch, son,' Helen covered Anna's hand with her own, 'if that's alright with you, dear.'

'I'd love to,' Anna replied sweetly. 'Can I just use the bathroom?'

'Of course, dear,' Helen pointed towards the door. 'Up the stairs, first on the left.'

Once Anna was out of ear shot, John couldn't resist asking his mother about Anna. 'Well, what do you think?'

'I think you could have had a shave,' Helen answered, pinching his cheek between her thumb and index finger.

'Mum,' John groaned. 'What do you think about Anna?'

'I think she's wonderful,' Helen replied before her tone turned slightly jovial, 'why the heck is she with you?'

'Ha ha,' John sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. He met his mother's gaze. 'You like her then?'

Helen nodded. 'I do. Treat her right, John. She could be amazing for you.'

* * *

><p>God, what was it about this man? Anna found herself becoming more addicted to him with each passing second. He had a way with words, a way of looking at Anna that made her struggle to catch her breath. When he held her hand, it set her heart beating a quicker rhythm, she melted under his touch. Anna never wanted these sensations to end.<p>

After leaving his mother's, they headed back into central London, the West End to be exact. Choosing a little bistro in Leicester Square to eat in, they shared a beautiful meal whilst chatting about disastrous Valentines dates of the past. John admitted Anna won when on one date the guy forgot her name and she had been known as around seven different monikers before they had even reached the restaurant. Then at the following ice skating portion of the date Anna fell and broke her wrist.

John had talked Anna into going back to his flat. He was quite insistent, Anna not having the heart to decline even though she had an early start at work the next morning. Still, she had some clothes stored at his flat now, and it meant she could have a lie in already being a ten minute walk away from the fashion house, rather than the half an hour train journey she usually was.

'I'm shattered,' Anna sighed, throwing her bag on John's armchair then proceeding to sit down on the sofa. John took off his jacket as he continued into the room without speaking, moving to the rather large stereo in the corner of the room.

'I've made you a gift,' he revealed, Anna smiling upon hearing those words. This was soon overtaken by a feeling of guilt. She and John had agreed upon not exchanging gifts, a meal together would be enough.

'But I haven't got you anything,' Anna's tone was regretful as she watched John fiddle with one of the dials on the music system.

'I know, we agreed not to. Being with you is enough for me, but I wanted to do something for you.'

He turned around to face her, and in that moment Anna had never felt such emotions as those rushing through her body. He was smirking, _that_ smirk. Music filled the air, Anna's attention grabbed by the speakers in each corner of the room. She recognised the tune, but the vocals threw her for the briefest of seconds, before she realised who was singing.

_'You do something to me, something deep inside...' _

It was the Weller song. Their song. And it was John's wonderful voice that was overtaking Anna's senses.

'I don't know what to say,' Anna whispered, bringing a shaking hand to cover her mouth. No man had ever done anything like this for her.

'May I have this dance?' John asked, Anna accepting his invitation in a heartbeat.

She fell into his arms, resting her head against his chest as they moved together in time to the music. It was moments like these that Anna realised this man was perfect for her. They seemed to move in perfect sync, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to be in John's embrace. She lost track of time as they continued to dance, John's velvety tones filling the air and in turn making her feelings grow deeper for him with each song that passed. He was singing all of her favourites, and knowing he was singing every note for her did things to Anna she couldn't explain. _All Of Me, Amazed, _even an Ed Sheeran track but it was when she heard him sing _Wicked Game_, Anna's favourite song, that she knew.

He had sung it once before for her, the morning after he had serenaded everyone at Mary's and Matthew's birthday party. He had inadvertently made her cry that morning, never knowing why. And he was making her cry again. There was something about this song that touched her, reminding her of a time when she felt invincible, before life robbed her of all of her innocence. Now, hearing John sing every word of this song as if his life depended on it, Anna had to tell him how she was feeling.

'Are you alright?' John whispered, resting his cheek against her temple.

'I love you,' she murmured. There. She had said it and God knew she had never meant those three words more in her life.

'You do?' John pulled away from her, searching for her gaze. 'Anna, please tell me you mean it.'

Anna nodded. 'I do. I love you.'

Before Anna could release another breath his lips were upon hers, his hands resting gently on the side of her face. She could feel herself succumbing to his advances, allowing him to bring her gently down to the sofa. He wasn't forcing himself upon her, far from it. Anna knew he was just reacting to hearing the words he had been waiting for, she finally feeling now was the right time to tell him how she felt.

'I love you too,' John gasped, Anna's smile at hearing him reciprocate her words causing John to chuckle a little. 'If you hadn't guessed.'

The CD was finishing now, their murmurings the only sound in the room. Both were reclined on the sofa facing each other, their hands entwined. They seemed content

to simply stare at the other. It was after a few minutes than Anna broke the silence, something she had been meaning to ask John coming to the forefront of her mind.

'You know, now I've met your mother, I think it's time you returned the favour.'

'Right,' John's tone was sceptical. 'Okay. When?'

'Well, they all live in Yorkshire.'

'They?'

'Yes,' Anna nodded, 'they. My mum, dad, Jane my sister and Phillip my brother. Plus their partners. And my niece and nephew.'

'Bloody hell, that's a lot of Smith's to meet right there.'

'It's Aunty Hattie's seventieth birthday party a week Saturday,' Anna explained, unable to resist brushing a lock of hair that had fallen on John's forehead back into place. 'And I'd like you to be my plus one. What do you say?'

'I say anyone lucky enough to be your plus one must be the luckiest person in the world.' John brushed the back of his knuckles against Anna's cheek. 'I'd love to come.'


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- You may have noticed the rating of the story has changed with this chapter. I felt it was time to move things along a little. I have never written this kind of thing before and it probably shows but I tried. There is also a little violence as someone makes a reappearance.**

**Thanks for all your reviews, they mean a lot. You guys are amazing. **

**Disclaimer**- Same as chapters 1-10...

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><p>Finally leaving the motorway, John released a sigh. He hated driving, but the train would have meant his and Anna's time wouldn't have been their own when in the north. After asking Robert for the loan of his BMW, John had offered to drive himself and Anna to Yorkshire. Although Anna could drive as well, neither owned a car so Robert was only too happy to allow his best friend to use his vehicle.<p>

They had left London early morning, the car boot filled to the brim with enough luggage to last Anna a week, let alone the weekend. John managed to pack all he would need in a small holdall, as well as his guitar. He had never understood why women needed to take so much with them, but he daren't question Anna. She had even uttered the words, 'I don't think I've got everything I need,' John begging to differ as she placed her fourth piece of luggage on the back seat. They were staying at a hotel near Anna's family home, but had planned to go straight to the house to meet Anna's parents.

'You need to follow this road for a couple of miles,' Anna explained as they reached the roundabout at the top of the slip road. John nodded. He turned his head to smile at Anna as they waited at the traffic lights. 'Are you alright?'

'Looking forward to seeing the family,' Anna replied, John wasn't feeling nearly so excited at the prospect.

He had never met his ex wife's family until they had been married a year. It wasn't important to John that they liked him, he couldn't care less. However, he wanted nothing more than for Anna's family to like him. For the first time the age gap worried him. How would Anna's relatives feel about her dating a man over ten years her senior?

'What are you thinking about?' Anna asked as the lights turned green. John half turned his gaze before concentrating on the road ahead. She could read him like a book, already. 'Are you nervous?'

'A little,' A chuckle elicited from John as he admitted he felt anxious.

'You're quite the brooder, Mr Bates,' Anna observed as he pulled up to yet more traffic lights. A smile spread across his lips now, John turning his head to look at her again. 'Please don't worry, my family are going to love you. You make me happy, that's all that will matter to them.'

'Do I make you happy?' The lights had turned green, John putting the car in motion as he waited for Anna to answer his question. He hadn't expected her to put her hand on top of his on the gear stick, the sensation of her hand on his warming the skin instantly. A feeling he was becoming increasingly addicted to.

'Yes. More than I can ever remember being.' God, how he wanted to meet her gaze right then, but being in control of Robert's pride and joy rendered that notion a bad idea. He instead opted for taking Anna's hand in his, lifting it to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

'Right at the next roundabout,' Anna said, keeping hold of his hand as he brought it down to his lap. 'Then their house is a little way down on the left.'

John cleared his throat, reluctantly letting go of Anna's hand to change gear. He felt his nerves coming to fore once again as he followed his girlfriend's directions. Releasing a shaky breath, he pulled over as Anna indicated with a point of her finger where her childhood home was situated.

'Here we are,' Anna undid her belt as John switched off the engine. His eyes were on the house, it was much grander than John was expecting, although he would never voice that to Anna. Looking back to the woman at his side, he couldn't help but reciprocate her beautiful smile, despite his nerves. 'Please, don't be nervous. You are the man I love and my family are going to love you too. Just be yourself.'

'I haven't done this in years, meeting the parents of my girlfriend. I didn't even meet my ex wife's family until we were married.'

'Well, no time like the present.'

In the next moment, Anna was swinging her door open, John doing the same before stepping out of the car. After closing the door, he stretched his back and his long limbs, being cramped in a car for hours not beneficial to his six foot frame. In his peripheral vision, he could see Anna approaching his side, he holding an arm out to wrap her in his embrace.

'We'll stay for a couple of hours, then you can buy me dinner at the hotel.'

'Oh, can I now?' John replied, looking down at Anna with a raised eyebrow.

'Come on.'

Anna took hold of John's hand and lead him onto her parents driveway. This was it. Showtime. They reached the front door, Anna reaching to press the doorbell. She looked up at John, he meeting her gaze.

'I love you,' she mouthed, squeezing his hand once more.

'I love you too,' he whispered back, offering her the slightest hint of a smile.

His heart was thundering so much John was unsure as to how it didn't beat right out of his chest. The door opened, and before John knew where he was Anna was lost in the embrace of a woman John assumed to be Anna's mother. She had blonde hair like Anna's John observed, and was the same height as her daughter.

'I've missed you, darling,' the woman exclaimed, stepping back to take in the sight of Anna. 'You look wonderful.'

'If I do, it's all down to the man beside me,' Anna replied, John touched by her kind words for a split second before making eye contact with her mother. 'Mum, this is John. John, I'd like you to meet my mother, Harriet.'

'Nice to meet you, Harriet.'

John offered the woman his hand, taken aback as to how alike Anna was to her. Harriet took John's hand, shaking it softly. She was grinning, but John could tell she was giving him the once over. He kept smiling, waiting for her to say something. Anything.

'Hello John. Anna's told me a lot about you.'

'Really?' John chanced a glance at the younger Smith woman.

'It's all been rather favourable,' Harriet continued, stepping aside to allow John and Anna to cross the threshold. 'Take him through to the living room, Anna. Everyone is in there waiting for you.'

'Everyone?' Anna groaned, stopping as her mother shut the door.

'They are all rather eager to meet John, and after all that has happened, who can blame them?'

Harriet's words made John stop and look at Anna with a furrowed brow. He still didn't know the ins and outs of what happened in Anna's past, her mother's words doing little to stop his already over active imagination.

'Are you making the tea, mother?' Anna asked, trying to change the subject before leading John into the living room.

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><p>Anna watched on the sidelines as John got to know her family. Everyone was there. Anna's father, her brother Philip, his wife Becky and their seven year old daughter Molly. Her sister Jane and her husband Gary were also present, as well as their son Toby, who was five. John struck some common ground with Anna's father, James almost immediately. Both were war veterans, James's interest piqued in his daughter's new man when he mentioned he had served in Bosnia and Iraq. She couldn't help but burst with joy as she witnessed her Dad and John seemingly getting along so well, having only just met. Her Dad was usually a tough nut to crack, and if Anna was honest the person she was least looking forward to John meeting. But she needn't have worried.<p>

Philip and Jane were a little more reserved, in a private conversation in the kitchen both admitting to Anna they were a little unsure of the age gap. Harriet counteracted this by arguing Anna needed someone like John to look after her, particularly after all she had been through. It was then that Anna informed them John didn't know everything about her previous relationship and asked them to keep it that way. They were unsure but promised they wouldn't say anything, both reiterating their little sister's welfare was all they cared about.

'If you haven't told him about your ex, what about the bedroom side of things?' Jane asked, taking her little sister into the conservatory for a private moment.

The two of them were only a little over a year apart in age, therefore very close. Throughout their time growing up together, there was very little one didn't know about the other.

'We haven't yet,' Anna shrugged, folding her arms. 'We've come close, we've shared the night together but we've never made that final step. Maybe after I finally feel the time is right to tell him everything that might change. I haven't felt ready and John respects that.'

'Well, that's one thing I suppose,' Jane conceded.

'He's a lovely bloke, Jane. I've never felt like this before.'

It was however, little Molly whom John made the biggest impression on, particularly when he told her he could play the piano. She lead him to the hallway where her birthday present was situated, having just turned seven. A brand new keyboard. Although trying to remain interested in Becky talking about her hair salon, Anna had half an ear on the hallway, listening as John taught Molly a melody on the instrument. Toby had joined them, Anna making out that John was encouraging her nephew to clap along in time to the music.

After half an hour or so, Molly came into the living room, followed by Toby and then John who was carrying her keyboard. He placed it down, then looked to Molly. Anna felt her heart constrict in her chest upon seeing how natural John was with her niece and nephew.

'John, you stand there,' Molly said, pointing to her left. 'And Toby, you stand there.'

'I think Molly has something to say,' James said, catching everybody's attention. All eyes were on John and the children now.

'Thank you, Granddad,' Molly replied, the slightest hint of a chuckle breaking out amongst the adults present. 'John has taught me to play something on my new keyboard. He's going to sing, Toby is going to clap and I am going to play.'

'You can tell she's your daughter, Becky, bossy like her mum,' Jane joked, earning a dig in the ribs from her sister in law.

'Come on then, Princess,' Philip encouraged, Anna rolling her eyes as she noticed her brother was armed with his camera phone, ready to film the event.

John met Anna's gaze then, winking slyly in her direction before offering Molly some assistance as she set up her keyboard. He knew what that did to her, winking at her. Her breath was coming in short gasps, she unable to stop looking at him as he helped her niece, reminding her of the opening keys.

'Okay, after three start clapping Toby,' John instructed the little boy, 'and a one, two, three.'

After the countdown, Molly began to play the melody she had been taught, Toby showing good rhythm for a chap with such a tender age as he clapped along in time. Anna instantly recognised the tune, the adults laughter filling the air once more as they did so as well. Anna couldn't help the smile that threatened to split her face in two, the three of them looked so cute standing together in front of everyone, John on his knees to be more of an even keel to his fellow band mates. Then he began to sing, Anna finding herself becoming lost, the same way she did every time she heard John's gravely tones.

_'Baby you light up my world like nobody else,_' he rolled his eyes before singing the next line, Anna remembering a late night conversation about ridiculous song lyrics they had shared, _'the way that you flick your hair gets me overwhelmed. But when you stare at the ground it ain't hard to tell, you don't know, you don't know you're beautiful.' _Lifting his head, Anna nearly fell off of the side of the armchair she was sitting on as he met her gaze before carrying on, this time Molly joining in_. _She could feel herself falling more in love with John with each passing second, seeing him with the two children she adored causing unfamiliar feelings to surge within her. She'd never seen this side to John. _'If only you saw what I could see, you'd understand why I want you so desperately. Baby I'm looking at you and I can't believe, you don't know, you don't know you're beautiful, that's what makes you beautiful.' _

As they finished, cheers and applause erupted amongst those gathered as John encouraged both Molly and Toby to step forward. Taking both their hands, he lead them in bowing in front of their audience. After accepting the acclaim, he offered both Molly and Toby a high five before moving towards where Anna was sitting.

'Philip has asked if we would like to join everyone for a drink. Mum is going to look after the kids.' Anna whispered, taking John's hand in hers. 'I know you wanted to get to the hotel but you don't mind, do you.'

'Of course not,' John smiled, kneeling beside Anna. He nodded in the direction of Molly and Toby. 'What did you think?'

'The three of you were adorable,' Anna admitted before they were interrupted by Philip.

'Anna, John, we're leaving now,' he announced, kissing Molly on the head. 'First round is on you, sis.'

* * *

><p>Although feeling some initial hostility, John could feel Anna's siblings and their partner's warming to him. It was understandable. Anna had been through something, something John longed to find out but at the same time, was wary of learning about Anna. The thought she could be made to feel suffering and pain was more than John could take. That she had to go through something so traumatic as to cause her such distress, if he could John knew he would do anything in his power to change her past. All John could do was to promise to be there for Anna in the present.<p>

The drinks were flowing, although John stuck to the soft drinks, his excuse was that he was driving. A call from Robert had interrupted the evenings festivities, he phoning to ensure his prized possession was still in one piece. Reminding his friend he had driven tanks through war zones back in their army days, Robert seemed suitable assured his 'baby' was in safe hands.

Leaving the ladies to their conversation about make up and what not, John, Philip and Gary went to the bar to get another round in. Anna's brother was becoming more welcoming towards John, their shared interest in football cracking through the initial thaw. Gary was an easy enough bloke to get along with, John decided, he very interested in John's musical side.

As the barman was fetching their order, the three men were sharing an animated conversation about the weekends football fixtures before Philip's attention was grabbed by someone walking past them at the bar, towards the exit.

'I'm going for a smoke.' Philip said, his voice calm and controlled although his demeanour was anything but.

Looking beside him, John was surprised to see Philip following the man, his pace quickening the closer he got to him.

'Shit,' Gary murmured, Philip now disappearing out of the pub.

'What?'

John was the epitome of confusion as he paid the barman for the drinks. Gary was already heading for the exit, John lifting the tray of drinks from the bar and watching as Gary walked in the direction his brother in law just had. James appeared beside John then, resting a hand on his wrist.

'Drop the drinks, John. You're a bouncer, you might be needed.'

'Why?' John asked, putting the tray back down.

Already moving towards the exit, James spoke back over his shoulder. 'That man Phil just followed is Anna's ex.'

Without another word, John was by James's side. As they reached the street, they were met with the sight of Philip squaring up to a man who was smirking callously and hurling insults at Anna's brother. Gary was trying to hold Philip back, the other man clearly enjoying winding him up.

'She clearly hasn't told you the whole story, Phil.'

'Shut your mouth,' Philip spat, Gary having to work even harder to keep him away.

'This isn't worth it, Philip.' Philip turned to see his father and John standing in the doorway, James stepping closer to his son. 'Leave it, son.'

'Listen to your Daddy, Phil. If only Anna had, eh? He never liked me.'

'Yeah, well he was proved right, wasn't he?' Philip shouted back, struggling even more in Gary's arms.

So this was the man who had hurt Anna. John clenched his fists, finding all the willpower he could not to walk over and inflict some pain of his own. The fact he showed no signs of remorse angered John even more.

'Who is your friend?' The man asked, pointing at John.

'Anna's new fella,' James replied, placing a hand on John's shoulder.

Releasing a cynical laugh, the other man walked past a flailing Philip to stand in front of John. John kept his gaze firmly on the man standing before him, clenching his jaw now as well as his fist. The only thought running through John's mind was to hit the bastard, and hit him hard. But something held him back, something was stopping him that John couldn't put his finger on.

'He's a bit old for her, no?' John felt James shift on his feet beside him, but he maintained eye contact, waiting to hear what he had to say next. John was daring him to push him, to make him lose the final shred of resolve he was holding on to. 'Still, you're welcome to her. Too gobby for her own good, that one. Never would do what I told her. I had to show her in the end. Served nine months in prison mind, but boy was it worth it.'

That was it, John had heard enough. Gary could no longer hold on to an onrushing Philip, but it was John who was lining up a punch. Just as he was about to move his fist, a voice from the doorway stopped John's action at once. Anna. In that moment he knew Anna was his resolve. As he turned to look at her, the next thing John felt was a blow to his cheekbone, knocking him off his feet.

'Andrew!' Anna squealed, her voice piercing John's ears as he stumbled to the ground. The bastard had caught him unawares, John lifting his hand to just below his eye. The sound of a siren could be heard then but John didn't care. He knew retaliating wouldn't do anyone any good, but holding the man down until the police arrived, he could do.

It was John's turn to catch Andrew by surprise, dragging him to the ground and using his weight to hold him there until the police were with them, using the training he had been given as a bouncer. Andrew was squealing in pain, Gary and Philip meeting the police and explaining to them what had happened as they approached the scene.

'You unimaginable bastard,' John whispered so only Andrew could hear. 'You're lucky I'm not pounding you to within an inch of your life.'

'Why don't you get back to that gobby little bitch of yours,' Andrew breathed, John pressing his head down to the ground that little bit harder.

'So having a mind of her own equates to being gobby in your world, does it?' John questioned, looking up to see the police coming closer. 'These guys are coming to save you now. That woman you have such little respect for is the most wonderful person to ever walk the face of the earth. I'm not a violent man but know if our paths ever meet again I will hurt you. And I mean it.'

The police took over then, John rising to his feet. His face was throbbing, but his only concern in that moment was Anna. Turning to face her, she was in James's embrace, sobbing gently. She met his gaze, her cries increasing as she took in the sight of his face. He offered her a weak smile as Philip tapped John on the back.

'Come on, lets get back inside,' Gary suggested, looking over his shoulder to see Andrew being lead away. 'I thought I'd seen him earlier but couldn't believe he would have broken the restraining order so soon.'

'Do you mind if me and John make tracks?' Anna asked, turning her attentions to her brother. 'We need to talk.' Oh God, that was never a good sign. John believed those four words to be the most dreaded in the English language. He nodded at Anna, swallowing hard as he did so. 'I'll just go get my bag.'

Philip and Gary walked back into the pub behind Anna, Becky and Jane meeting them having heard the sirens outside. James remained in the street with John, staring at him with an intensity John couldn't fathom.

'Be what she needs, John,' he murmured, his voice pleading. 'Please. She's got that light back in her eyes. My beautiful daughter is herself again, and that's down to you.'

'I want to be what she needs,' John replied, 'it's what I strive to be every day.'

Anna re appeared behind John, he recognising father and daughter might want a moment alone. 'I'll go and get the car.'

Walking away from them, John lifted his hand to his cheek again. God, it really was hurting, but it made John's heart bleed even more. If this is what it felt like to be hit by that man, heaven knows how broken Anna must have felt to be the victim of his vicious hands. He couldn't allow himself to think like that, if his sanity was to remain in tact. It was in the past. John promised himself again, it was his responsibility to make Anna's future brighter.

* * *

><p>Anna looked on frustratingly as John took yet another bag of peanuts out of the mini bar in the hotel room. Although they hadn't taken that step in their relationship yet, Anna didn't see the harm in them sharing a hotel room. They had used the majority of the ice to bring down the swelling under John's eye. It was going to leave a spectacular bruise, that much was for sure. Anna felt so guilty, voicing her concerns as soon as she had got in the car beside John. He had assured her it was fine, but Anna knew it was anything but. John was going to have questions, questions she knew she now owed him the answers to. But he hadn't forced anything explanations from her, he was being his usual gallant self. And tonight it was infuriating.<p>

They hadn't really shared any further conversation, only John seeking her permission to have a Jack Daniels and Coke from the mini bar, not that he needed her permission she gave it anyway. One drink wouldn't hurt. Now he was sitting in the corner of the room, placing a handful of the nuts in his mouth and chewing. She had had enough.

'John.' It surprised her how weak her voice sounded.

'Yes?' He didn't look at her.

'We need to talk about this.'

'No we don't,' he dismissed her remark, putting another handful of peanuts in his mouth.

'John, we do.'

He lifted his head then, meeting her gaze. 'No good has ever come from the words, we need to talk.'

'What makes you say that?' Anna replied, treading the floor between them to kneel in front of him.

'If you're going to finish it then fine, but do it quickly please.'

She couldn't believe what she was hearing, releasing a small laugh in response to John's words. How could this man believe she would want to end the best thing that had ever happened to her? He rose to his feet, walking past Anna before she grabbed his hand.

'Why would I end this, John?' She looked up to find his heated gaze looking down at her. 'I want to talk to you because I feel it is time to tell you the truth, about what happened.' Anna stood up, keeping hold of John's hand as she did so. She placed her other hand gently on John's cheek, he closing his eyes at the contact. 'It's the least I can do after what's happened.'

'I think I can gather what he did,' John leant into her touch, Anna releasing a shaky breath being in such close proximity to the man she loved. 'It's obvious now why you jumped that night at my place.' John wrapped an arm around Anna's waist, pulling her a little closer to him. He rested his forehead against Anna's, his voice was barely a whisper as he spoke to her. 'Know that I would never hurt you, Anna. I'd die before you came to any harm. I'll wait forever for you, if that's what it takes. Just knowing you love me is enough.'

'But it's not enough for me,' Anna said, surprising herself with the realisation she had come to. It was as if John finally knowing the extent of what she had been through had pulled the remaining wall down, the final barrier to her knowing him fully. The next words fell from her lips so easily, this felt right. 'I want you to make love to me, John. Please.'

John moved away from her slightly, she could feel his breath on her face, leaving him more rapidly than it had been seconds earlier. 'Anna, I don't want you to feel...'

She silenced him by placing her lips on his, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Anna was praying she was displaying in her actions how much she wanted this, how much she wanted him. She realised her advances must have been working as she felt his tongue running along her bottom lip, almost begging for her to let him deepen the kiss. She couldn't refuse him, allowing his tongue to meet hers. The kiss was languid, slow and all consuming, Anna felt herself melting under John's touch yet again. This man had such a powerful hold over her, one she hoped would never fade.

'Anna,' he murmured, pulling away, but not without brushing his lips against hers once more. 'Anna, are you sure about this?'

'Yes,' Anna answered without missing a beat, 'I've never been surer about anything in my whole life. I want you, John.'

She didn't know how he did it. John was so incredibly gentle yet was leaving Anna in no doubt as to how much he returned her desire, how much he wanted her too. Their lips met once again, John leading them to the bed. Breaking apart from her, John sat down on the edge, encouraging Anna to sit on his lap, her legs straddling his hips. As he resumed the kiss, sucking on her bottom lip and resting his hands on her thighs, Anna couldn't help but let her mind drift to all the times she had passed him on that walkway every morning. Listening to him singing lyrics to hundreds of songs, losing herself in his eyes, his voice, losing herself in him. And now here they were, Anna had dreamt of this moment before she even knew his name. Being the reason John lost control, hearing him voicing his pleasure and knowing it was because of her. It thrilled her more than she could ever put into words.

His hands had found the base of her spine under her shirt, his fingers kneading the skin there as he moved from her lips to taste the skin of her neck. A small gasp escaped Anna, John's touch threatening to overwhelm her.

'Are you alright, Anna?'

There was something about the way he said her name then, heightening her desire even more. She pressed herself closer to him, if that were possible, for the first time feeling his arousal through his trousers.

'Yes,' Anna replied weakly, threading her fingers in the hair at the nape of John's neck. 'I need more, John. I need to feel you.'

Displaying what she meant, she began to lift his shirt up his back, John understanding what she wanted and removing his shirt completely, Anna doing the same with her own. Their upper bodies removed to each other for the first time, Anna couldn't help her eyes roaming over the hair that was generously drizzled over John's chest. A real man, she thought to herself. So enamoured she was with the sight of John's torso, his toned upper arms and broad shoulders she had barely noticed him removing her bra. If what she had felt had been heavenly before, it was nothing compared to the feeling of John pressing his lips to her breasts, tasting them with his tongue. John lifted his head to meet her gaze, making eye contact with him at this moment was almost more than Anna could take, but she found she couldn't avert her eyes from his, feeling like her heart would stop beating if she did so.

'You are so beautiful,' he whispered, the sincerity in his tone causing the tears to sting the back of her eyes. 'What did I ever do to deserve you?'

He began to place kisses on her shoulders, the hollow of her throat, moving lower. Anna felt as if she was on fire, John's kisses warming her skin and turning Anna on to the point of madness. She could feel an ache in the pit of her stomach, an ache that begged to be eased. Standing up, she undid her jeans and allowed them to fall to the floor. John stood up then, mirroring her actions. Placing his hand on the waistband of her underwear, John murmured her name, Anna taking it as his asking permission to continue further. She nodded, feeling slightly self conscious as John pulled her underwear down past her knees, she stepping out of them and John tossing them to one side.

Anna needn't have felt embarrassed, John worshipping her body as if she were a Goddess. He remained on his knees, kissing her ankles before moving higher, her knees, her thighs. Anna was soaring high, unable to focus on anything else but the feel of John's lips as they moved ever closer to her centre. Anna could take no more, John was driving her mad as he teased her now with not only his lips but also his tongue. Resting her hands on his cheeks, she lifted his head to meet her gaze. His eyes were dark, the sight of them causing a rush like a jolt of electricity running through her body.

Without another word, she was pulling John's underwear down over his thighs, the power shifting with Anna suddenly taking control of the situation. Once he had kicked his boxer shorts out from under his feet, Anna was taking him in her hands.

'Christ Anna,' John hissed, closing his eyes as she ran a hand down his length.

Anna knew she couldn't wait any longer, pushing John back down on the bed. In the next moment she was straddling him again, his arousal brushing against the sensitive skin of her centre. He had barely touched her there, yet she was ready for him. A shift of his hips and they would be joined, both knew it as their eyes met for what seemed like the millionth time, Anna learning eye contact with this man was almost vital as breathing. John held her gaze as he pushed up, breaching her folds. One final shift of his hips, and they were joined completely, mutual gasps of pleasure escaping them both. John stilled his movements for a moment, Anna was glad of that.

He completely filling her sending all her senses into overdrive, Anna was finding finally becoming one overwhelming. John's head was resting against Anna's, their lips meeting intermittently as they held each other. Everything that had occurred before had lead to this moment, and now it had happened Anna needed a moment to adjust to the divine sensations that were overtaking her body.

'You feel incredible,' he finally said, breaking the stillness that had fallen over the room.

'So do you,' Anna managed to reply, her voice weak as she did so. She was surprised she could say anything at all, such were the feelings John was creating within her.

The gentle rock of his hips made Anna aware John was ready to move. Her climax was already building, his ministrations on her before they had returned to the bed rendering her almost completely lost already. He then returned his lips to her breasts, and Anna really was done for. Her groans of pleasure filled the air, John taking them as his encouragement to quicken his movements. Anna could feel the end approaching as John took the rosy peak of her nipple in his mouth for the first time. Then it happened. It was as if her head was exploding, such was the pleasure that was coursing through her veins. All encompassing, Anna had never been made to feel like this before, it was that powerful she couldn't think beyond the fact this was the most satisfaction she had ever felt in her life, and how much she loved the man she was sharing this moment with.

Before she could catch her breath, John had moved her so she was on her back, he now above her. 'Is this alright?'

Anna couldn't answer him with words, simply nodding as he covered her mouth with his own, she reaching her end seeming to cause a shift in John's demeanour. Feeling his hips beginning to move against hers once more, she wanted nothing more than to make John feel how he had just made her feel. Sensing her coherence increasing with each second that passed, Anna wrapped her legs around John's hips, taking him deeper within her. He was moving slowly, so incredibly slowly as he whispered words in her ear that would make her blush in any other circumstances.

It wasn't long until he called out, her name leaving his lips and floating right into her soul. As he made to move away, Anna held him in place, wanting this most perfect moment to last a few moments longer. In the end, his weight became too much and she allowed him to move beside her. Not wanting to be without his touch for too long, Anna reached out for John.

She felt strange. Not in a bad way. Far from it. It would take her a while to comprehend what had just happened, what it meant for the two of them. All she knew, as she lay in John's embrace, was that for as long as she lived she never wanted to lie in another man's arms. They had only known each other mere months, but Anna knew. She just knew.

* * *

><p>An hour or so had passed. A dim light spread throughout the room. No words had been exchanged since they had parted, no words were needed. An unspoken understanding passed between them, an understanding that events that evening had changed things between them for the better, they simply felt right.<p>

The musky smell of their lovemaking still lingered in the room. John couldn't remember a time when he felt more at peace. He was lying on his side, Anna facing him. They shared smiles, their lips met on occasion but above all, they were together and for all they cared, they could have been the only two people left on earth and it wouldn't have mattered.

But an urge was bubbling within John, something that was as natural to him as breathing. Music was everything to him, as was Anna. No words could ever do justice to how he was feeling at that moment, John had never been the best at voicing his emotions. But one thing he was sure of was that he could display how he was feeling through song, and God how he wanted to sing in that moment. Sing from the rooftops that this most beautiful creature was his and that he was hers. Searching his mind for a song that would display all he was feeling, he remembered the CD he had made for Anna on Valentines day. One track in particular Anna had remarked was her favourite. He just prayed she didn't find it too saccharine, John would never have done this for any other woman. But Anna made him want to do things he never believed he could.

_'Honey now... take me into your loving arms,' _His singing voice had initially startled Anna, despite how soft it was. But John was relieved to see her smiling, encouraging him to continue. '_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.' _He placed his lips upon hers, before placing her hand on his chest. _'Place your hand on my beating heart.' _He saw a solitary tear run down her cheek then, kissing it away before carrying on with the next lyric. _'Thinking out loud, baby we found love right where we are. We found love right where we are._'

A moment of silence passed between them before Anna spoke.

'John Bates,' Anna said through a whimper, John lifting her hand to his lips and placing a kiss upon her knuckles. She was smiling, a most beautiful smile John would never grow tired of seeing. 'You smooth operator.'

He had to chuckle upon hearing her words, pulling her closer to him. 'I love you, Anna.'

'I love you too,' she replied, tucking her head under his chin.

Her next words shook John to his core, how someone as flawless as Anna could feel this way baffled him, but he accepted her words and would treasure them until his dying day.

'I don't know how you did it, how you got me smiling and believing in love but you have, when I thought no one ever would again.'

* * *

><p><strong>AN 2- The song John sings at the end is 'Thinking Out Loud' by Ed Sheeran. Just in case you didn't know it and wanted to check it out. You should, it's nice.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Your reviews are awesome. I never believed I would get one review for this, let alone over 100. Thanks so much. **

**A midweek update, I am just finding it so easy to write this story at the moment, as well as finding it a welcome escape to real life. Hope you guys are still enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it.**

**We find out a little more about Andrew in this chapter and what he did, so I'm not sure if it's worthy of it but this chapter carries a trigger warning, just in case.**

**Disclaimer-** Nothing belongs to me...

* * *

><p>Anna felt different, that much was for sure. A feeling of completion had washed over her body last night, as if she had found something she never knew she had been missing. John had been the most wonderful lover. Caring, considerate and God, how amazing he had made her feel. She succumbed to his experienced hands not once, but twice more before they had fallen into a peaceful sleep in each other's arms, the sensation of his naked form against hers thrilling her every time she acknowledged it. John was only joining a line of a handful of people Anna had allowed to know her in this way, but it was no contest. It simply put, was just better with John, Anna supposed because of how deeply their emotions ran for the other.<p>

Then he sang to her, it was the most romantic moment of her life. Basking in the afterglow, unable to take her eyes away from his, she was taken by surprise when his dulcet tones gently filled the air. If his was the only singing voice she ever heard again, Anna knew she would be content. She thought of the future, hearing him singing around their home every day for the rest of their lives, singing to her. What a perfect image to hold on to.

As he was getting ready in the bathroom for a guided tour of Anna's childhood neighbourhood, Anna was putting on her make up in front of the mirror. Thoughts of him came into her mind, Andrew. It had been a shock to see him, especially when his terms of sentencing, and later release meant he couldn't go near Anna indefinitely. It might have been a coincidence, Anna didn't know but to see him bought unwanted memories to the forefront of her mind. John knew in very vague terms what had happened, and Anna was glad that fact had been the catalyst for their taking the next step last night, but he didn't know everything. Meeting her eyes in the mirror, she knew she owed it to John to reveal this one last detail, before she fell any deeper.

For all she knew, it could change John's opinion of her ten fold.

'You're so beautiful.' Anna looked over her shoulder to see John approaching, hair wet from his shower, he holding a towel in his hand ready to dry it. He was bare footed, Anna not expecting it to have the effect on her that it was having. John had made his way to the dressing table where Anna was getting ready, leaning down to press warm kiss after warm kiss on her neck, his wet hair tickling her cheek. His voice was barely a whisper as he spoke. 'Thank you for last night, it was incredible. You really are the most desirable woman I have ever met.'

Rising to her feet, John stepped backwards to allow Anna room to manoeuvre. 'Careful Mr Bates, keep saying things like that and we'll never get anything done.'

'Would that be such a bad thing?' He rasped, taking Anna by surprise and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, pulling her body close to his before resuming his attentions to her neck. Anna was lost.

She supposed a walk around the neighbourhood could be put on hold for a little while.

* * *

><p><em>You lucky bastard<em>. That was the most common thought to reverberate around John's head since last night. Not only was he fortunate enough to call Anna his girlfriend, she was now also his lover.

John had imagined what it would be like, he was a man after all, but what had materialised far exceeded what he had dreamt up in his mind. Even on cold mornings when she was simply a passing commuter and he was busking, he had imagined them in that situation, never for one moment believing it would become reality.

Her body was flawless, John still having to pinch himself now that someone like Anna would even let him look at her in that way, let alone eagerly want him to make love to her. The way she asked him sent his heart soaring, John had never been given a simpler task in his life. Learning her body had been one of the most joyous experiences he had ever had. Finding the ticklish spot between her shoulder blades, discovering what she enjoyed the most, memorising her cries of pleasure and the expression on her face as the end took her. All these things John would treasure, things only he knew about Anna.

As they walked around Anna's hometown, hand in hand, he kept meeting her eye. He wondered if she was thinking about all they had shared too. There was something different in the way Anna looked at him, it sent the adrenaline coursing through his veins. There was this new element to them now, it made what they had together seem even more precious, he supposed. Now he knew Anna in this way, it made the thought of them ever breaking all the more harder to bear.

She was so animated as she explained about all the places she had loved visiting as a child. The park, the ice cream parlour and the local cinema. He laughed as she told stories of her childhood with her brother and sister, relieved her experiences of growing up were mainly happy. But behind her enthusiasm for telling John stories, he could sense she was holding something back. On occasion, she would go quiet, her brow furrowed as she, John presumed, mulled something over in her mind. As usual, he wouldn't press her, she would tell him in her own time.

They reached a lake, the late winter air around them wasn't as harsh as it had been in recent months, but it was still quite cold. However, John thought nothing of it when Anna requested they sat on a nearby bench, overlooking the water. The midday sun was sparking on the blue water, John noticed two swans swimming past. He smiled, silently wondering if it were a sign. Swans stayed together for life. As he observed Anna tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, that didn't seem such an unattractive proposition.

'Sure your eye doesn't hurt too much?' Anna asked, John lifting a hand to touch the bruised skin just under his eye.

'The painkillers have been managing it. I'll survive.'

'This place was famous amongst the kids at school,' Anna continued. She chuckled before adding, 'the boys used to bring the girls here for a bit of a smooch.'

'Is that so,' John growled, finding the grin on her face at that moment totally irresistible. He placed an arm around the back of the bench, resting his hand on her shoulder. 'And did any boys bring you here for as you say, a smooch?'

Anna met his gaze then, John's breath catching in his throat as she did so. She looked away before answering. 'David Warburton.'

'Ahh, we're getting into the territory of ex's, are we?' John's tone was teasing. 'We've never spoken about that before.'

'He's barely an ex, we were only fourteen years old.'

'You even remember how old you were.' John pulled Anna closer to him. 'Sure he didn't mean that much to you?'

'Well, everyone remembers their first kiss, don't they?' She shrugged, looking out onto the water, playing the memory in her mind, or so John believed. She turned to him again. 'Don't you?'

He was nodding, of course he did. 'Sarah Hardcastle, she was fourteen and I was twelve.'

'Woah, a cougar.'

'Yeah,' John chuckled heartily at Anna's remark. 'I was tall for my age, taller than most of the boys in her year. She mistook my height for being older than I was and I never told her the truth.'

'You cad,' Anna nudged him gently before she turned slightly more melancholy. 'I don't really think about ex's, especially after...'

Her voice faded away and John suddenly felt terrible. He hadn't thought. 'I'm sorry, Anna. I...'

'Don't be sorry,' Anna reassured him, placing her hand on his knee. John waited for her to continue. 'It's alright. Truth is, there wasn't really anybody before Andrew, a couple of youthful dalliances but nothing more. I was with him for seven years.' She released a cynical laugh. 'He swept me off my feet. We were happy. It wasn't until he lost his job five years in that he showed his true colours.'

Silence fell then, John unsure what to say. He clenched his fist, just thinking about what Andrew had done to Anna made him angrier than he could ever put into words, let alone hearing she had to endure it for two years. He wanted to hurt Andrew last night, if Anna hadn't appeared John's retaliation would have been more than just holding him on the floor until the police arrived. His threat wasn't an empty one, he would willingly cause Andrew pain if he ever laid one finger on Anna again.

'You see, John. I need to tell you something, something that happened and I'm not sure how you are going to feel about it.' John was certain nothing could change his opinion of Anna, absolutely nothing but instead of voicing his protests, he didn't interrupt, simply nodding to say he acknowledged her statement. 'That final night, the night Andrew was arrested. He...he...'

She stuttered, closing her eyes and inhaling a deep breath. John's heart ached to see her in such suffering. 'You don't have to do this, Anna.'

'But I do.' She was crying now, John hating the fact that man was causing her tears again. 'It could affect the future, our future, and you need to know.'

Anna stood up, walking a few paces away from the bench before turning around to look down at John, who had sat forward, leaning his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. She looked so vulnerable, John wanted to envelope her in his arms and reassure her that nothing could turn him away from her, but something compelled him to remain silent.

'That last night, he forced himself on me. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't,' Anna had her arms folded across her body, her voice trembling as she spoke. She stopped to compose herself, looking away from John, shaking her head. John rose to his feet then, carefully stepping closer to Anna. He gently placed his hands on her elbows. 'I was in hospital for a few days, observations and stuff. But I learnt he had caused damage, irreparable damage.' She shifted on her feet, John recognising the feel of her toes touching his on the ground beneath them. 'I still remember the doctor as he approached me, his eyes so full of pity. A young woman, her whole life ahead of her. He sat down, Dr Newman was his name. I'll never forget the way his voice sounded as he told me.' Anna lifted her gaze to meet John's once more before she continued. 'He said that the damage Andrew caused meant it would be extremely difficult for me to conceive in the future. There was still a chance, but the fact of the matter was it is very unlikely I will become a mother.'

All in that moment, John's heart broke. Not because of the possible implications of Anna's revelation for him, but because of this wonderful gift Anna had been robbed of at the hands of a monster. In their time together, he had noticed Anna watching mothers with their children, simply putting it down to the fact every woman wanted that, to be a mother. Didn't they? Anna was in her thirties, it was natural. Then his own doubts came to the forefront of his mind. Firstly, he meant it when he said to himself nothing could ever change how he felt about Anna. He loved her, plain and simple. It was black and white. And secondly, John wasn't even sure he would be able to father a child. Ten years of marriage to Vera and never a sign that they would start a family. In the early years, before their union turned sour, they had tried to no avail. Little did he know that was a blessing in disguise. All John knew was that he had to reassure Anna, let her know no matter what, he was going to be there for her.

'I'm so sorry, my darling,' he murmured, pulling her into his embrace. John could feel her break down completely, her body shaking against his as she rested her head on his shoulder. 'So, so sorry.'

'I understand if you don't want this to carry on.'

John pulled away from her then, his expression was incredulous. 'Are you serious?'

'You might want to be a Daddy someday.'

'Anna, I'd be lying if I disagreed with that, but the fact of the matter is it's you I want.' He paused for a moment, searching for the right words in his mind, how to articulate all he needed to say. 'It's still very early days between us, but if you asked me right now to choose between a life without children, or a life without you, I'd choose never to be a father.'

Anna took John completely by surprise then by pressing her lips to his, her hands on his cheeks. How she could even think for a moment he would want to end what they had together he didn't know. What they shared went beyond any relationship he had ever experienced in his whole life, she simply understood him like no one else. The briefness of their time together didn't matter, this felt like nothing ever had.

'I love you,' she breathed, resting her forehead against his.

'I love you too,' John replied, the words rolling off his tongue so easily, as if he had been saying them for years, instead of days. 'And the truth of the matter is I might not be able to have kids either. Vera and I were married for ten years and nothing ever happened or ever seemed likely to happen.'

'We're lucky we found each other then, aren't we?'

John laughed at that. 'Anna, I tell myself that every single day.'

* * *

><p>Next port of call was Anna's parents for a spot of lunch. She had to admit she felt relieved John knew everything. No more secrets. Not on her side anyway. There was things she still needed to find out about him, she knew that, but there had been enough revelations for one weekend away.<p>

She was looking forward to her Aunty Hattie's party, seeing all of her family, some of whom she hadn't seen for quite a while. Most of all Anna couldn't wait to introduce the most wonderful man she had ever met to those who mattered the most to her.

John gravitated to the living room where James and Gary were watching the lunchtime football match, Toby on the floor playing with his cars. Philip, Becky and Molly were at a prior engagement, meaning the house was slightly quieter than the previous evening, particularly with Molly absent.

Anna stood leant against the kitchen counter as Jane and their mother made sandwiches for lunch. They were talking about some family scandal that had occurred whilst Anna was in London, something about her cousin, George but Anna wasn't really listening. She was thinking about John, about the beautiful words he had said to her by the lake earlier.

'Penny for them.' Brought out of her reverie by her sisters voice, Anna looked up, not even realising her mother had left the room.

'Sorry, I'm away with the fairies today.'

'Hmm, I could tell,' Jane replied, an eyebrow raised. 'Is it that fella of yours?'

'Maybe.' Anna shrugged, stepping closer to the counter and picking up the knife that lay on top. 'Shall I take over for Mum?'

'Come on, Anna. I've been able to read you like a book since we were little girls.' Jane nudged Anna with her elbow, Anna meeting her gaze and unable to stop a smile from spreading across her face. Her sister's voice was almost a squeal as she spoke next, taking Anna's hand in hers. 'Oh my God, you didn't.'

'We had a heart to heart last night, and then...'

Anna didn't need to say anything, her face displaying all the answer Jane needed. 'How was it?'

'Wonderful,' Anna breathed, looking to the ceiling. 'Better than I could have ever imagined.'

'Does he know everything?'

'He didn't until an hour ago,' Anna replied, Jane leading her to the kitchen table so they could sit down. 'I told him, that it's unlikely I'll be able to have kids.'

'What did he say?'

'He'd choose a life with me over a life with kids.'

Jane gasped, putting a hand over her mouth. Anna was beaming, knowing in that moment Jane's feelings were changing completely towards John, for the better.

'Come on, girls.' Harriet appeared again, walking to the counter and continuing to butter the bread. 'These sandwiches won't make themselves.'

* * *

><p>He couldn't take his eyes away from her. It was becoming a familiar sensation. As he sat in the corner of the room, James his company, he was completely and utterly transfixed. She ruled the dance floor, her laugh lit up the whole place. Intermittently, he would catch her gaze and suddenly simple things like breathing became difficult. She looked absolutely stunning in a black knee length dress, black lace drizzled down her arms. Perfection.<p>

James had proved to be fine company as Anna's family celebrated her Aunt's seventieth birthday. He had even revealed he had heard what John had said to Andrew the previous evening when John was restraining him on the floor. John was touched when James told him he hoped things worked out between himself and Anna. The rest of her family were very friendly, all happy Anna had finally found someone new who was going to take care of her.

John had only been coaxed up to dance a handful of times, once by Molly when the DJ played _'Live While We're Young' by _One Direction in an ironic nod to the birthday girl, managing to keep her Aunty's boyfriend as her dancing partner for the next few songs, including a Time Warp, John quite impressed with his performance. Now as the evenings proceedings were drawing to a close, people beginning to leave, the music had begun to slow down.

Anna had been sitting on a table with her cousins for a while at this point, John remembering her saying they were close when they were growing up. She hadn't seen them for a while, and John was glad she was having the chance to have a catch up. It was becoming more apparent family was important to Anna. They helped her come through a massive trauma and tragedy brings people together, John knew that more than most.

Last orders had been called at the bar, a crowd had gathered there whilst others were waiting for cabs. John was chatting with some of Anna's family when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Anna standing before him. Leaning down so she could whisper in his ear, John placed a hand on her hip.

'Have you heard what's playing? The DJ said it was the last song.'

Stopping to listen, John grinned as he recognised the song to be _'All Of Me_,' a song he had recorded for Anna on her CD. In the next moment he took Anna closer to the dance floor before pulling her closer to him, beginning to move her around in time to the music.

_'You're crazy and I'm out of my mind...' _

Anna was giggling as John continued to sing to her, her laughter sweeter to his ear than any song that could ever be played.

'People are looking, John,' Anna murmured, John turning to look over his shoulder at the group of people swaying at the bar.

'Let them look,' John said, not caring the eyes of the room were on them. He lifted Anna so she was level with him and off her feet, slowly spinning them around. _'Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you_...'

'John,' she laughed, wrapping her arms more tightly around his shoulders. They were the only two on the dance floor as the song played out. John almost forgot anyone else was in the room, Anna had him completely beguiled.

He had never expected this weekend to be such a voyage of discovery, yet he had reached the end of it knowing the extent of Anna's demons, of her experiences in the past and had also shared the most perfect night of his life with her. John had made a vow to himself, to be there for Anna no matter what came their way. He had also come to one more realisation.

He was falling in love with her more and more every day.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N- Just to put it out there that what happens was always planned. It might come as a shock to some. **

**Thanks for all the reviews, they mean a lot and I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas.** **But lets face it, if you watched Downton you probably did. **

**Disclaimer**- Nothing belongs to me.

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><p>John tapped his knees rhythmically with his fingers, looking up at the ceiling, anything to have to not look straight ahead of him. He exhaled a breath before realising he was going to have to look at them. He was sitting in the middle of the sofa in Anna's living room with Ethel, Gwen and Daisy for company. They were sitting opposite him, John feeling as though he was on a job interview and the three women in front of him were his potential bosses. It was akin to that feeling of being nervous going for a new job, meeting his girlfriend's best friends.<p>

After being shown in by Anna, she had made her excuses as soon as he had stepped over the threshold, needing to use the bathroom. And here they were. Ten minutes later and John had never felt so uncomfortable in his life. The initial pleasantries and usual questions of what do you do for a living had long since subsided into a drawn out silence, waiting for Anna, their common link, to return.

'So Anna tells us you're the best she's ever had.'

'Ethel,' Anna exclaimed as she walked into her living room, sitting beside John on the sofa. She took John's hand in hers. 'Sorry about that. Think I've eaten something that didn't agree with me.'

'No need to apologise, are you alright?' Anna nodded and John smiled, squeezing her hand in his. 'I missed you.'

A chorus of aww's could be heard coming from Daisy and Gwen, John and Anna turning around to look at them. Ethel's response was quite the opposite, she screwing her nose up before finishing her glass of wine in one.

'Can I get anyone else a drink?'

'You haven't even offered John a drink?' Anna rose to her feet immediately, following Ethel towards the kitchen, stopping at the door to look at John. 'Tea?'

'Please.'

'Don't mind Ethel,' Daisy began, 'she's harmless really.'

'Yeah, it's just your being with Anna has reminded her how single she is,' Gwen admitted with a whisper, 'it's all about Ethel. You'll come to realise this the better you get to know us.'

A flicker of movement to his right caught John's attention, he turning to see Ethel come back into the living room. These three people meant a great deal to Anna, so if John was going to be with her they were going to be a part of his life as well as her. His early impressions of Daisy and Gwen were favourable, Anna had always spoken about them in glowing terms and her testimonies about them had been on the money so far. However, her explanation about Ethel had also been spot on. She seemed self involved and didn't think before she spoke.

'So, you're the man who is going to steal our Anna away from us, are you?' Ethel placed a straw in her wine glass as she spoke, before lifting her gaze to meet John's.

'No, not at all,' John stood up then, realising this might be his chance to get Anna alone before the real interrogation began. 'I'll just go and give Anna a hand.'

As John left the living room he heard Ethel utter, 'yeah, I bet that's not all he'll be giving her.'

Shaking his head, John reached the kitchen door. Instead of making his presence known, he decided to lean against the doorframe and watch as Anna made the tea, humming to herself as the radio played in the background. It had been six weeks since their trip to Yorkshire, subsequent encounters since that first time had just got better and better. John felt like the luckiest man in the world.

'What are you staring at, Mr Bates?'

He was caught off guard, standing up straight before Anna looked at him over her shoulder. Stepping into the kitchen and moving towards her, Anna's smile made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. John was beginning to believe her smile would never fail to affect him.

'I'd try to explain what I'm staring at, but I'm not sure there are any words in the English language that would do her any justice.'

'Trying to charm your way into my bed again, are we Mr Bates?' Anna wrapped her arms around John's shoulders. 'Because if you are, it's working.'

'Does that mean I can stay the night?' John asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

Anna pressed her lips to John's before replying, 'I'd be disappointed if you didn't.'

'Are you sure you are okay? I don't like to think that you are poorly.'

'Funnily enough, I'm fine now I've been ill,' Anna explained, moving away from John and back to the counter.

She began to open a box of cakes that had been left on the side, reaching for a plate and arranging them neatly. John stepped in her direction, standing beside Anna and resting his hands on the counter, either side of her waist.

'Hmm, those look delicious,' he growled into her ear. John turned his head to see Anna's slightly tilted back, her eyes closed. Placing his lips on her neck, John abruptly jumped away from his girlfriend when one of her friends cleared her throat behind them.

'Anna, did I leave my phone on charge in here?'

It was Daisy. John was slowly beginning to realise he might have to be patient for some proper time alone with Anna.

* * *

><p>Standing up beside the toilet, Anna took a look at her appearance in the mirror. She looked absolutely terrible. Grey around the eyes, her hair was a mess, pale. The sickness she had been suffering from had lasted a few days now, she even having to cancel a date with John because she was feeling so terrible. It was now Tuesday, and her and her friends 'date night.' Anna had been feeling better but felt absolutely awful as the night drew closer. Walking back into her bedroom, she winced as Daisy and Ethel argued over the hair straighteners. She threw herself face first onto the bed, groaning as she did so.<p>

'What's up, chick?' Gwen asked, rubbing the back of Anna's leg as she sat beside the bed putting on her make up.

'I feel so sick,' Anna moaned, her voice muffled from having her head face down on the bed.

'Still?' Daisy asked, giving in and letting Ethel use the straighteners first. 'You should go to the doctors.'

'I hate doctors,' Anna sulked, sitting up and leaning against the headboard before grabbing a pillow and hugging it in her arms. 'I think I am going to have to take a rain check on tonight girls. You don't mind, do you?'

'But it's our date night,' Ethel argued, looking at Anna's reflection in the mirror she was using.

'I know and I'm sorry, but I don't want to throw up on someone's shoes like the new years eve before last.' Anna ran a hand through her hair. 'Trust me to choose the girl with the most expensive shoes in the place to decorate with my...'

'Thank you,' Gwen interrupted, lifting her hand to indicate she had heard enough of Anna's story. 'We understand. Would you like us to stay in with you?'

'No, go and have a good time.'

* * *

><p>John hated nights like this, the quieter ones. The hours had seemed to drag and what made it worse was that he was on duty with Thomas and not Alfred. He was worried as well. Anna's friends had entered the club a couple of hours before without her, along with his Goddaughter Sybil and her boyfriend Tom. Tom was a football buddy of Thomas's and the girls knew each other too, Anna being their common link. Gwen had assured him that Anna was fine, she just wasn't up to a night on the town. Still, all John wanted to do was get home and try to get hold of Anna, just to hear from her own lips that she was alright.<p>

'Oi, oi.'

John looked over his shoulder to see Tom walking his way, followed by the four girls all looking decidedly merrier than they had been on their arrival at the club. He tried to act friendly as the girls approached him.

'You re so lovely to Anna,' Daisy said first, touching him on the shoulder before stumbling a little. 'So, so, lovely.'

'Well, she's lovely,' John replied with a smile.

'Thomas, my friend,' Tom was chatting to John's colleague, 'take a picture of myself and the lovely ladies. For prosperity.'

John rolled his eyes as everyone lined up for the picture in front of him, all except Ethel who was looking at him very strangely. He could see her in his peripheral vision, smirking at him. Turning his head, he was shocked when she darted forward, placing her lips upon his. It was over as soon as it had began, John stepping away as quickly as he could.

'What the hell are you doing?' John exclaimed, wiping his mouth as Gwen took hold of Ethel.

'I just wanted to see if Anna was right,' she slurred, struggling in Gwen's grasp.

The next voice that was heard was Thomas's, telling Tom that the picture was already on Facebook with Tom tagged.

'You legend,' Tom said in his Irish burr. He took Sybil's hand. 'Come on you, lets find a taxi home. Bye John.'

'Yeah, bye Tom. Look after her,' he called after them before turning his attentions to Gwen who had hung back, Daisy leading a rather tipsy Ethel to the taxi rank.

'Sorry about that,' Gwen apologised for her friend. 'She gets a little flirty when she's had a few.'

'With her friend's boyfriend?' John replied, looking down the road at Ethel and Daisy.

'She'll feel terrible in the morning,' Gwen said, 'and I'll get her to apologise next time she sees you.'

'Tell her not to bother,' John shrugged before his attentions turned to the person missing from this evening's festivities. 'How is Anna? Really?'

'She can't stop being sick,' Gwen replied, 'we've told her to go and see the doctor but she won't. She hates being in that environment, reminds her of that bastard.' John nodded to acknowledge he understood. 'I best go and catch up with them. See you soon, John.'

'Yeah, bye Gwen.'

Watching as she walked away, John hated to think of Anna so ill. All he wanted to do in that moment was wrap her in his arms, to take care of her. Yet, as Thomas allowed a group of young revellers to enter the club, he knew that moment wasn't coming any time soon.

* * *

><p>In bed, finally. Anna was absolutely shattered and as she stretched out on her mattress, the moment she had been waiting for since she got up that morning had finally arrived. Looking at her phone, she noticed a Facebook notification, a status from Gwen simply saying, 'missing my bestie,' accompanied by a picture of Gwen sitting alone with a sad face. Anna smiled at the gesture, thankful to have a friend like Gwen in her life. Flicking through her timeline however, her smile soon turned to an expression of confusion, then anger. It was a picture Tom Branson had been tagged in, posing with Gwen, Daisy and Sybil. But the scene behind was one that angered her.<p>

Ethel was there, with John. And they appeared to be kissing. What the hell? Anna's mind was moving at hundred miles an hour as she zoomed in on the picture. She was going to be ill again.

Leaping out of bed, she ran down the hall to the bathroom, just making it in time. What had been going on at that club? Surely John wouldn't kiss Ethel willingly, she knew what Ethel was like after a drink. It must just be a huge misunderstanding, mustn't it? John wouldn't do that to her. But then again, it had been only a few months, how could you know someone completely after a few months? How could John put himself in that position when he knew what Anna had been through?

Rising to her feet once more, Anna opened the cabinet to look for something to soothe her stomach when she noticed the painkillers she used to relieve her cramps at her time of the month. And then it hit her like a speeding train. Everything suddenly made sense. Sickness. Tiredness. She was late. She was never late. But she couldn't conceive, the doctor had told her it was almost impossible. Anna racked her brain, they had been careful, John had made sure. Then she remembered that first night in Yorkshire, their first time.

Maybe she should book an appointment with the doctor.

* * *

><p>Robert watched as John paced the floor of his best friend's kitchen, alternating his hands as he kneaded his fists. John had arrived an hour or so earlier, ranting and raving that Anna hadn't answered any calls or texts for two days. He had been to her flat, but she wouldn't answer the door. She hadn't passed him on that walkway whilst he busked for the past two mornings. And he didn't know why.<p>

'Maybe she's lost her phone?' Robert offered, trying to be helpful.

'Okay, explain why she won't answer the door.'

'She's staying with a friend.'

'Why hasn't she walked past me?'

'Being ill, she couldn't face the train and got a taxi.'

John stopped walking and narrowed his gaze, looking at Robert. 'You're good, you should be a lawyer.'

Just then, the front door burst open, a few seconds later Mary appeared at the door, followed by Cora carrying what seemed to be hundreds of shopping bags.

'Been spending my money again, have we dear?' Robert asked as Cora kissed the top of his head.

'Darling, now spring is upon us you know I need a whole new wardrobe.'

'Obviously,' Robert replied, rolling his eyes in John's direction. 'Forgive me for overlooking that minor detail. But does that shopping spree mean we won't be able to afford to eat until the summer?'

'What are you doing here, John?' Mary asked, switching the kettle on. 'I thought you'd be nursing Anna back to health.'

'What do you mean?' John furrowed his brow.

'She's been off work for the past couple of days,' Mary replied, 'didn't you know?'

John didn't answer. He was already leaving the Crawley's with the intention of finding out what was going on once and for all.

* * *

><p>Anna pulled the blanket more tightly around her, trying to concentrate on the television although finding it impossible. Pregnant. Six weeks pregnant. She was stuck between two emotions, one of being deliriously happy something she thought she had been robbed of was happening to her, and the other her confusion over the baby's father.<p>

She hadn't answered the phone to anybody the past couple of days. Missed calls from Gwen and John kept flashing up on her phone. She just couldn't bring herself to talk to anybody, she had never had a day off from the fashion house once. But the man she thought loved her locking lips with one of her best friends rendered her unable to face the world it would seem.

Also, how would John react to the news he was going to be a father? He might run a mile, although Anna knew deep down he wouldn't. She was nervous about telling him, perhaps that was part of the reason she had been ignoring his calls and texts, she wondered.

The sound of the buzzer caught her off guard, her heart suddenly beating quicker such was her shock. She sighed, who could it be this time? The fact of the matter was, she was going to have to face the world sometime. It wouldn't be John, he had worked the night before and would still be in bed. It might be Gwen, Daisy perhaps? Anna didn't know what she would do if it was Ethel. Having a baby in prison might not be considered her best move ever.

Walking to the phone that connected her to whoever was trying to get in downstairs, she was shocked by the voice she heard.

'Anna, let me in, It's John.'

'What do you want, John?' She asked, shocking herself by how indifferent she sounded.

'Anna, please let me see you. Even if you just come down here, please. I need to speak to you, to know you are alright. I've been worried sick.'

Sighing, Anna put the receiver down before slipping on her trainers. Grabbing her coat and her keys, she began to make her way downstairs. Neutral territory. A mixture of emotions began to flow within her. Anger at John's actions the other night, fear at how he might react to the news she knew she would have to tell him, and confusion as to how she was actually going to break the news to him.

Reaching the bottom floor, she saw John with his back to her, leaning against the glass of the door. Walking towards him, she gently knocked and he turned to look at her. Suddenly, anger pooled in her veins as memories of that kiss flooded her brain. One thing was for certain, she was going to have to deal with that matter first.

'Anna,' he said, reaching for her.

'Don't John,' Anna replied, pushing his hands away before stepping out of the building and standing beside him. He seemed visibly shocked by her actions, Anna's heart aching a little at the sight of his face, etched with confusion.

'Anna, what's going on? You haven't been answering my texts, my phone calls.'

'Well, I thought you'd be too busy with Ethel.'

'What?'

'I saw the picture John.'

'What picture?' he shrugged, running a hand through his hair causing that one lock to fall above his right eye. 'Anna, you're going to have to be more specific.'

'The picture of everyone outside the club the other night, you and Ethel sharing what looked like a rather passionate embrace.'

He looked flummoxed, staring out ahead of him. Anna could tell the penny had dropped, but the thing that bothered her the most was that John wasn't trying to explain it, the silence between them somewhat deafening.

'And that tells me all I need to know.' Anna turned to walk back inside before John put his hand over hers on the door handle.

'How did you see that picture?'

'It was on Tom's Facebook, he was tagged in a picture by some guy called Thomas Barrow.'

'What does being tagged even mean?' John exclaimed, shaking his head. 'I don't have Facebook, I don't have a clue how it works but all I can tell you is this has been a huge misunderstanding. Yes, Ethel did kiss me but I pushed her away. She was drunk, Anna. Ask Gwen.'

'It looks like you were enjoying it in the picture.' Anna folded her arms, turning to listen to John's explanation. She had never heard such desperation in his voice as he carried on talking.

'How can you think that? After all we have shared these past few weeks, months even.' He placed his hand on her cheek then, Anna closing her eyes at the sensation of his skin on hers, again. She hadn't realised until then how much she had been missing his touch. 'Since the first moment I saw you, walking past me at Waterloo I have never given another woman a seconds thought. You are the only person that occupies my thoughts now Anna. Only you.'

He was good, that much was for sure. And what he was describing about Ethel married up with her past behaviours. But then she remembered her news, and her relief was soon replaced by a nagging doubt that John wouldn't like what she was about to say.

'John, I have some news. About why I've been feeling so ill.'

'Oh God, what is it? It's serious isn't it?' John was panic stricken, Anna meeting his gaze and shaking her head to try and alleviate some of his fears.

'Let's take a walk, shall we?' Anna offered John her hand, he taking it without missing a beat. 'I could use some fresh air.'

* * *

><p>Anna had lead John to the square near her home, some benches overlooked a river and there they sat. She hadn't spoken and John was beginning to panic. All sorts of scenarios were running through his mind. What if she was really ill? She couldn't be, Anna was young, strong, fit even. She took care of herself. He squeezed her hand tightly, turning to face her. She smiled weakly but John could tell she was trying not to cry.<p>

'Anna...'

'I'm sorry I accused you of cheating on me with Ethel,' she interrupted him, John furrowing his brow. 'I know you would never do anything to hurt me.'

'She literally just flung herself at me, Anna. Gwen will tell you.'

'I can quite believe it,' John watched as Anna stared straight ahead, releasing a small laugh once the words had left her. 'She's a funny one, Ethel. It's all about her.'

'Which begs the question why are you actually friends with her? When she is the complete opposite to you. Someone like you who is selfless, kind hearted...'

'You still think that after I've been ignoring your texts and calls for the past few days?'

John shook his head, unable to believe her words before moving his arm to wrap around her shoulders, bringing Anna closer to him. 'Nothing will ever change my opinion of you Anna. I told you that up in Yorkshire and I am telling you that now. I love you.'

A moment of silence passed between them as John held Anna's gaze. Her expression was unreadable, but John had said his piece. He had told Anna how he was feeling. It was her turn to speak now.

She finally spoke, her voice barely a whisper. 'I have something to tell you.'

We'll face it together, whatever it is.'

John meant that with every fibre of his being. Anna took a breath, averting her eyes from his. She took a deep breath, John moving his arm to rest his hands in his lap. Anna looked towards him, John locking his eyes with hers once more.

'I hope that's the case John. Because I'm pregnant.'


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N I loved every minute of writing this chapter. Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much, To all the loyal reviewers- you guys rock. Thanks for sticking with the story. **

**Disclaimer- Nothing DA related belongs to me, still. Alas.**

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><p>He was very quiet. A few moments had passed since her confession. His gaze had left hers to study the floor, he was hunched over, leaning on his knees with his elbows. John needed time to process what she had just told him, God knows it was still a shock to Anna and she had known for a couple of days. When he stood up, Anna's line of vision followed him, taking a few steps towards the river. He had his back to her, his arms folded. He began to pace the riverbank. John still hadn't looked at Anna, his face, his expression was unreadable. It was becoming too much for her to take.<p>

'Look John, I'm not asking anything of you. I am still trying to get used to it myself. If you need a few days to decide what you want to do...'

She was taken aback as John finally looked at her. 'I'm not going to say I'm happy about this, Anna.'

That was it, then. Emotions overtook Anna. This had been her biggest fear. That this would break them. Her bottom lip began to wobble, she could feel the warm sting of tears in her eyes. John had begun to walk back towards her, Anna could detect a slight gleaming of tears in his eyes, too. 'I knew it. I was worried about this.'

'About what?'

Anna shook her head, the tears flowing freely now as John sat back down beside her. 'You'll think I have done this to trap you.'

Whatever Anna had expected his reaction, laughter hadn't been it. 'Anna, a man can only be trapped if he wants to be trapped. I could run for the hills right now and get on with my life.'

She kicked the ground beneath her feet upon hearing his words, her sobs muffling her voice somewhat. 'Why don't you then?'

Anna was a mere spectator as John wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her tightly to him. He pressed a light kiss to her temple, Anna releasing a shaky breath as she registered his touch.

'I'm not going to feed you lines about standing by you, that implies I don't really want to be here, because nothing could be further from the truth. It doesn't matter what I think Anna, all that matters to me is how you feel about this all.'

'But it does matter what you think.' Anna insisted, 'it matters a great deal. I've just told you I am carrying your child. How does that make you feel?'

She watched as John considered her question for a moment. He tilted his head to the side, his arm still positioned around her shoulders. Turning his head to look at Anna once again, he slowly raised his eyebrows before a smirk formed on his lips.

'Relieved really. At least I know now my bits work.'

After giving him a disbelieving look, Anna couldn't help but smile as well. Their smiles soon turned into laughter. John pulled her more into his embrace, telling Anna more with his actions than words ever could. He wasn't pushing her away, although he had admitted he wasn't exactly happy, he wasn't leaving her to face this alone. She had known deep down he wouldn't. Not John.

The loss of his arms around her came as a shock to the system, but it was soon replaced with utter love and admiration for the man beside her as he moved to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in his. Anna had never seen the look in his eye. Sincerity. Devotion. John was the only man who had ever shown Anna such emotions.

'I love you and I meant it when I said we're in this together, Anna.' She couldn't help but rest her hand on his cheek, the familiar sensation of his slight stubble against her palm somewhat reassuring. 'Yes, it's come earlier than any of us would have ever imagined, hell it wasn't even certain this would ever happen for us and it's not ideal, it's completely the wrong time but I think...' John shook his head, his voice filled with a conviction that made Anna's heart sing as he closed his eyes and corrected himself, 'I know we can handle this.'

'Truly?'

'Truly.' Anna lifted her hand to run her fingers through the hair at John's temple, relief flowing through her veins before he continued. 'Five months, that's how long we've been dating. But you've held my heart for much longer than that. And as far as I can see, I don't want anyone else to have it. Fate brought us here, and if these are the cards we've been dealt, we better learn pretty quickly how to play them.'

As John wrapped his arms around her waist, still knelt on the floor, Anna held him tightly to her, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt ashamed at how she could have thought for even the slightest moment of time John would abandon her. This was different, they were different. God had bestowed this gift upon them, a gift she was certain she would never receive, and to her that was a sign that some higher power believed they could cope with it. Together, they were strong.

* * *

><p>John had walked Anna home that evening. She had sat in his arms in the armchair for hours, both trying to contemplate the road on which life was taking them. Anna was pregnant, and he was the father. He could process no other thought than this for quite some time. When John had told her earlier that afternoon he wasn't exactly happy about the situation, he had meant it in that moment. However, as the notion he was to be a father began to ever so slightly settle within him, that feeling slowly subsided.<p>

Anna had assured him on the walk back to her flat that she was alright with everything. Shocked, but feeling blessed and lucky she had something she thought she never would have. That alleviated John's fears somewhat. In his concern, John had asked if Anna had been to the doctor, she replying that she had and that with her history, she was eligible for an earlier scan if she so wished. Already being six weeks gone, a scan at eight weeks would probably be able to detect a heartbeat and an appointment for two weeks time had been set.

Tears began to escape her then, thankfully this time they were tears of happiness, rather than despair. John knew Anna must have been hurt in the past to believe he would ever leave her to deal with this on her own. That wasn't who he was and he loved Anna too much to do that to her. Even though they had only been together for a short time, he already knew life without her wasn't even worth contemplating.

He remembered when he was married to his ex wife, how he used to spend time at his mother's house, she listening as he told her all that was wrong with his marriage. She offered him some words of wisdom, the words which indeed lead him to start divorce proceedings.

_'When you know someone is right for you, you know it, my boy. And I think deep down you know Vera has never been right for you.' _

Those words of advice had never been far from John's mind since he had been with Anna. It felt right, what they shared between them. John had never felt like this before. Anna was who he had been waiting for. Time didn't come into it and never had done. If John was honest with himself, time became immeasurable when he was with her. It felt like they had been together forever. He couldn't remember what it had been like without her.

Anna had agreed that John could visit his mother the next day, to tell her the news. She had also requested they travel to the north after the scan, to tell her family in person rather than over the phone. It would be a shock to everyone and telling them face to face would be appreciated rather than hiding at the end of a phone line. Anna also suggested they not tell friends until after the twelve week scan. John agreed, of course he did. A united front. They were in this together, after all.

Leaving her later that evening, not wanting to be a distraction with Anna insisting she was going back to work in the morning, John was in a haze of being so in love with someone to getting to grips with the enormity of what had happened that day. A small, rather vain part of him felt some satisfaction in being able to provide something Anna believed she would never have. Something she so desperately wanted. Anna was going to be a mother, and it was partly because of him. That amazed John as he negotiated the crowds on the underground.

As he travelled back into the centre of the city from Anna's south London home, John thought it a frightening prospect, that of bringing a child into the world. God willing, in a little under nine months time he and Anna would be parents. Wow. Walking along the south bank to his apartment, he thought about their circumstances. They were so lucky. Turning on the lights, his home now bathed in light he knew money wasn't an issue when for so many first time parents it was. They were emotionally ready for the challenge. Both had experienced enough in life, he was in his mid forties and Anna was in her thirties, age wasn't a barrier.

If he really thought about it, nothing was a barrier. Anna and John loved each other, both had promised the other they weren't going anywhere. They were solid. However, a look to the wall behind the armchair, of him and some of his comrades from his army days taken in Iraq, reminded him there still so much Anna didn't know. John didn't know why but his eyes were drawn to his wedding band as he wrapped an arm around Robert's shoulder. Marriage. The thought scared him. That would be the next logical step, but John's experience of it had left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. He was certain of his feelings towards Anna, he loved her with all his heart but the thought of marrying left him feeling cold. One day, maybe. But not now. He shook it from his mind. Anna hadn't mentioned it, that was enough for John. If she did, they would discuss it, but until then he wouldn't bring it up.

And the thought of marriage didn't enter his mind again as he negotiated a sleepless night. John even allowed himself for the briefest of moments to wonder if the baby would be a boy or a girl. He didn't entertain those thoughts for long, though. All that mattered was getting to the eight week scan and making sure everything was alright. Anna had confided in him she was scared about it, it wouldn't help if he began running before they could walk.

The morning arrived and John was up and showered before the sun had risen. He wanted to make sure he was on his spot at Waterloo, in place for when Anna would inevitably walk past him on her journey to work. He knew what he would be performing when she walked past him. Anna had put some music on as they sat together the evening previously, and this song had begun to play, striking a chord with John. So many songs were reminding John of Anna now, music was the only way he believed he could sufficiently express his emotions and always had been.

It had been slow going, John had been singing for an hour so far and he barely had a fiver in his case. He didn't mind, some mornings were like that. There was only one person he was waiting for, perhaps that showed in his performance. As he finished a rather lethargic attempt at Oasis, he looked at his watch. Anna would be here any minute. Tuning his guitar, he tried to remember the chords for the next song. Humming to himself as he strummed his guitar to ensure it sounded right, movement to his left caught John's attention. He recognised some of the commuters, knowing from his months of busking here they passed around the same time as Anna.

Beginning to play, he cleared his throat before it was time to sing the first line of the song. As if on cue, he saw her. Anna. He was struck dumb for a moment, just playing the melody of the song as he watched her walk ever closer. She was dressed immaculately, as she always was for work. But there was something different about her, something John had never noticed before. A glow, perhaps. She looked content, at peace and it touched John to his bitter core. He smiled. She now had the one thing she had always wanted. And suddenly, he wanted to sing.

'_I, I'm so in love with you. Whatever you want to do is alright with me.' _

Anna had looked up now and met his gaze, her face was now displaying the smile she seemed to reserve for him. It only spurred him on to put more passion into his performance, causing a group of thirty something ladies obviously in London for a day out stopping to listen too. Anna stopped a few feet short of them, the stream of people passing by had slowed down to a trickle.

'_Let me say that since baby, since we've been together, loving you forever is what I need…' _

John's turned his gaze from Anna to the group of women who were enthusiastically singing along, attempting to hit the high note of 'need' along with him and laughing together when they failed.

'We'll leave those to you, love,' one of the women said, John smiling upon hearing her words and nodding to acknowledge her remark as he continued singing. He looked back to Anna who was watching the situation unfold with amusement. The women carried on accompanying John as he approached the chorus, his line of vision focussed solely on Anna as he sang.

'_Let me be the one you come running to, I'll never be untrue…' _John stopped singing to address the group of women standing beside Anna_. '_Come on ladies, you take this bit.'

'_Ooo baby, lets stay together…' _they all wailed in unison, John able to hear Anna's laughter over them. He joined them once more for the next line, letting the grin leave his face impossible as he realised Anna was singing along too. _'Loving you whether, whether, times are good or bad, happy or sad, good or bad, happy or sad.'_

'Nice singing, geezer,' one of the women said, dropping a ten pound note into John's case as he played out to the next verse. 'And you're gorgeous too.'

'Thank you.'

John replied quickly, noticing Anna nodding her head, seemingly in agreement to what the woman had just said. The group walked away, leaving John, Anna and a few intermittently passing commuters. He lifted his eye brows for her benefit before embarking on the next verse.

'_Why, somebody tell me, why people break up, turn around and make up, I just can't see, you'd never do that to me…' _

'_Would ya baby?' _

Both Anna and John turned to see two young black men, approaching them with headphones around their necks, seemingly singing along with John.

'_Staying around you is all I see…' _

What John had hoped would be a private moment with Anna, or as private as busking outside Waterloo could be, was turning into an audience participation number. The men stood beside John, one of them putting their arm around him. They could sing, although John suddenly felt like a member of a boy band as they accompanied him. He looked at Anna whose laughter suggested she was enjoying the sight of them together very much.

'_Here's what I want to do…' _

'Come on then lads,' John gave in, even joining in as the two young men attempted a shuffle in time to the music. _'Let's, let's stay together. Loving you whether, whether, times are good or bad, happy or sad. Good or bad, happy or sad.' _

'You've got the moves, dude,' the man who had his arm around John said, the other dropping some coins into his case. 'Sick.'

'I take it that's good,' John said as the men continued on their way, looking to Anna for reassurance. She nodded and John realised this might be a good time to end his song. They were somewhat alone. He was transfixed as Anna reached into her bag, pulling out her purse and taking a two pound coin from the section at the back. He watched as the metal hit the inside of his guitar case before lifting his head to meet her gaze. 'Thank you.'

'No, thank you,' Anna replied, moving backwards a few steps. 'And I concur. Let's stay together.'

'Most definitely,' John breathed, looking at Anna through a narrowed gaze, clenching his jaw. 'Have a good day.'

'And you, Mr Bates.' Anna reached for his hand with her own, grasping his thumb. 'See you tonight.'

* * *

><p>The kettle seemed to be taking ages to boil. John's mother was potting about her kitchen, mumbling about something or other that had happened at the day centre she visited. John hadn't really acknowledged what she was saying or had been saying since he arrived. He had got as far as a 'what are you doing here?' and 'would you like a cup of tea,' before he found himself at the kitchen table, in a daze. How was he going to break this news to her?<p>

'I said you're very quiet there, Johnny,' his mother said, placing a steaming mug of tea in front of her son. 'Something on your mind?'

'You could say that,' John replied sheepishly before lifting the drink to his lips and taking a sip.

'Is it to do with that lovely lass of yours?' John lifted his gaze to meet his mother's, a smile brightening her features. 'How is young Anna?'

'She's fine,' John answered with a nod of the head, although he couldn't quite bring himself to reciprocate his mother's expression, such was his nervousness.

'Don't look too happy about it, will you lad.'

John exhaled a deep breath, averting his gaze from the woman sitting opposite him to the picture on the mug he was holding. Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. The mug John's mother had always put his tea in when he visited. He allowed himself a chuckle at that. One of those little details in life you took for granted but one day noticed and it suddenly made you feel reassured, reassured that someone loved you completely. John knew her love was unconditional. He could do this.

'Anna's pregnant, Ma,' John breathed, making eye contact with her once. 'And it's mine.'

'What?'

'Yeah,' John drew out the syllable, his voice a whisper. 'We're going to have a baby.'

'Bloody hell, Johnny.' Her tone was one of disbelief, shock. She wasn't shouting, John took that to be a good sign. 'How long have you known?'

'She told me yesterday, but she's known for a few days. She's six weeks gone.'

'Blimey.' She rose to her feet then, walking to the counter and leaning on it. 'And it's definitely yours?'

'No doubt. I'm the only man she's been with for a while. And I trust her wholeheartedly.'

'Of course you do, my boy. I shouldn't have asked that. Anyone who sees you together can tell how devoted she is to you.'

Silence fell then, his mother's reaction mirroring John's the day before. It was a lot to take in. She had probably grown accustomed to the fact she would never become a grandmother, now here he was telling her he had got his girlfriend of five months pregnant. As if she could read his mind, her next statement left her lips to break the stillness that had overtaken the room.

'It's so soon. Weren't you careful?'

'We have been,' John replied before shifting uncomfortably, this not something he really felt appropriate to discuss with his mother of all people but he was going to have to. 'Apart from the very first time. In the heat of the moment we just…'

'Spare me the details,' his mother interrupted him, John was relieved at her intervention. 'Well, I'll say something Johnny. At least we know now all your equipment is in full working order.'

John cocked his head to the side, finally unable to suppress a grin. 'That's what I said.'

Laughter filled the room in the next moment, his mother approaching her son and wrapping her arms around him. John revelled being in her embrace, relieved she seemed to be taking the news quite well. She was surprised, but that was to be expected.

'Just tell me you are going to stick by her.'

'Of course, I love her, Ma. I told her we are in this together.'

'That's my boy. Anna's a wonderful lass and deserves to be treated right and I know you will do.' She grinned, stroking John's cheek before resuming her position opposite him at the table. 'How does Anna feel about it all?'

'Shocked. But happy.' John stopped talking, taking a sip of his drink as thoughts of what Anna had been through came to the forefront of his mind. 'Anna revealed something to me, something that happened to her. It resulted in her being told she might not be able to have children.'

'How awful.'

'Yeah. We're having an early scan in a couple of weeks to make sure all is well. But she's pregnant and I think because of what she was told, she is feeling blessed this has happened.' John ran a hand through his hair, looking beyond his mother to the kitchen window. His voice broke a little as he spoke. 'To be the man who has given her this, Ma. It's just the most indescribable feeling. I know the moment I see her holding the baby will be the most amazing of my life.'

'Are you going to make an honest woman of her? I think you should.'

John had known that question was coming, he sat up in his chair as the words reached his ears. He had to be honest. 'No. Not yet. I love Anna and she knows I am going nowhere. That is enough for me.'

'Alright son, I won't push you,' she responded, a chuckle evident in her voice. 'I know your view of marriage has been tainted and I understand why.'

'One day,' John assured her, running his index finger along the coaster his mug was resting upon. 'But not at the moment.'

'So we've heard how Anna is feeling, and I am over the moon, my boy.' His mother's voice was practically sing song as she spoke. 'But what about you? You're going to be a Daddy.'

'I told Anna I wasn't happy about it when she first told me,' John admitted, feeling a little ashamed at the words sitting here twenty four hours later. 'The only thing that mattered to me was that she knew I wasn't going anywhere. It's such an overwhelming feeling, knowing that there will be something in this world that relies solely on you.'

'It is, believe me.' His mother offered John a knowing smile. 'But let me tell you son there is no other sensation like it. It's a gift and you should treasure it.'

'I shall try to,' John smiled. 'But you're happy with the news?'

'John my boy, I am absolutely thrilled I am going to be a Nan. I best dust down my knitting needles.'

* * *

><p>As she cooked dinner, Anna was relieved to have a few moments alone to ponder all that happened over the past few hours. John would be joining her in a little while, and she was glad of some time to catch her breath.<p>

After John's rather entertaining rendition of '_Let's Stay Together_,' she was left in no doubt that he wasn't going anywhere. It was them against the world now and it thrilled her heart more than she could ever put into words. Upon arriving at work, Anna felt that she had to tell Mary, with her being Anna's employer, as well as one of her best friends. Knowing what she did, Mary was thrilled for her friend, reassuring Anna her secret was safe and any time she needed off was no problem.

She had finally spoken to Gwen and told her friend she was fine, the doctor had said so and she was not to worry. She explained her ignoring all Gwen's and texts as a fault with her phone, which she was grateful her friend bought. Anna didn't want to tempt fate by telling those who didn't need to know. Not yet. It just all seemed too good to be true.

When John arrived, he explained how upon hearing Anna had told Mary, he had also told Robert. The were like brothers and he didn't want Robert hearing the news from anyone but him, despite Anna insisting Mary wouldn't blab. He also described how his mother had been thrilled with the news and that she was there for them in whatever way they saw fit. She was such a lovely lady and Anna was grateful she and John had her in their life. John also revealed what his mother had thought he should do. After dinner, they had retired to the living room. When one of them stayed the night, sharing an armchair before bed had become their routine. The fingers of Anna's left hand were toying with the hair that revealed itself to her at the top of John's shirt, his words leaving him in a whisper.

'Ma thinks I should propose.'

Anna was taken aback by that. It had never really entered her mind, the fact she was becoming a mother superseding any other thought she might have had. As absurd as it sounded, she didn't think she and John were ready for that. But in that moment, she really wanted to know what John thought.

'And?'

John shifted a little beneath her, clearing his throat before replying.

'Look Anna, you know enough about my past to know my divorce was messy. Marriage doesn't make a relationship any stronger, not in my opinion anyway. I was married to someone who my feelings for were incomparable to my feelings for you. I have experienced a hundred, no a thousand things with you that I never did with her.'

'I understand,' Anna replied and she meant it because she did. John was telling her that he didn't see why he needed to prove he was in love with her and standing by her by marrying her. And he didn't need to. His actions and words every day told Anna all she needed to know.

'If you want a metal band on your finger to tell the world my commitment to you then I'll do it. But you have my heart and soul Anna, and in my opinion that's worth more than a piece of metal or a sheet of paper.'

'You're heart and soul is enough for me,' Anna replied, pressing her lips to John's. He returned her kiss with fervour, their first passionate embrace since the whole sorry mess with Ethel. She broke away, wanting to broach the subject. 'I spoke to Gwen today. Ethel is horrified.'

'Good,' John replied without missing a beat. 'Never leave me alone in a room with her. Please.'

Anna chuckled at his words. 'Can't really blame her for finding you irresistible. I do.'

John's expression was one of wonderment as he looked at Anna. 'I cannot believe you are defending her. Someone you claim is one of your best friends tried to kiss, or rather ambushed your boyfriend and you are just saying you can't blame her. You even thought I was cheating on you.'

'I'm hormonal,' Anna shrugged, 'expect months of this.'

'Alright, but Ethel has a lot of bridges to build, I can tell you that.'

'Yes, and she knows that too. She knows I am livid. But she was off her face.'

'Whatever,' John disregarded Anna's remark, 'let's not waste our evening talking about Ethel.'

'What did you have in mind, Mr Bates?' Anna moved her hand from his chest to run a finger over his cheek. She was finding his ranting rather endearing. His eyes had turned rather dark, a mischievous smile had broken across his face.

'Did the doctor mention anything about not being able to…' He lifted his eyebrows in a way that made Anna's insides flutter. Anticipation coursed through her veins.

'No, but I'm sure it's alright. You'll just have to be gentle with me.'

John nodded, indicating for Anna to stand up. He followed, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and placing his lips on her neck. As they made their way to her room, she was hoping this was one activity they wouldn't have to give up as her pregnancy progressed.

* * *

><p>The atmosphere was decidedly joyful as John drove Anna back home from the hospital in Robert's BMW. The initial anxiousness that had been the order of the day on their way to her appointment had been completely forgotten as soon as their babies heart beat could be heard in the room. Hand in hand, their eyes met as the noise played out. It was fast, John likened it to that of a speeding train. Anna's face was a picture as she watched the screen, everything being explained to them by the doctor. John committed the image of her features at that moment to memory, she looked so overjoyed. John was overjoyed. Seeing the baby on the screen, a living organism made it all seem so much more real. His child.<p>

It was all perfect. Their baby was perfect.

The doctor had likened the foetus to a peanut, and a nickname for their child had been born. Peanut. John decided in that moment he was going to refer to the life growing inside Anna using that term from now on. It wasn't just a foetus, it was a human being. Something that should have a name.

Now back at her flat, John followed Anna down the hallway to the kitchen. She was grasping the picture of the scan in her hand, studying it before placing it upon the fridge.

'I just can't believe it.' Anna was shaking her head, looking at the picture in disbelief.

'Me either,' John agreed, standing beside her. 'Our baby.'

John looked down to see Anna trying to stifle a sob, it had been an emotional day but he hated to see her cry, especially at a moment like this.

'Are you alright?' John asked. A tear began to fall down her face and John's concern increased ten fold. 'My darling, what is it?'

'Nothing, nothing bad,' Anna shook her head, lifting a hand to her wipe the tears from her face. 'It's just, when you said our baby just then. It made me realise that Peanut,' she released a small laugh at the term, John smiling as he realised she had used it. 'Is ours. Our baby. He or she is the first thing that belongs to both of us. And I like that.'

What an amazingly beautiful woman the mother of his child was. John couldn't respond to the wonderful thing she had said with words, choosing instead to pull her closer to him with one hand and meet her lips in a kiss. John had such a hold on her that Anna's feet were barely touching the ground. Wrapping his other arm around her waist, he bent his knees before lifting Anna completely from the floor. She was laughing, John joining her as he spun them around on the spot.

All in that moment, John realised he was holding his whole world in his arms, the two people at the centre of his universe and he suddenly realised his whole life had been leading up to this moment.

There was no place he would rather be.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I nicked the last scene from the Christmas special. It was pure, unadulterated joy.<strong>


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